Category Archives: Grace

1 Peter 4:12-19

About a year ago or so I was asked by a friend from high school to explain the verse in 1 Peter 4:18. Embarrassingly, I had never re-read 1 Peter since I had to read it the first time in seminary. This is both lazy and dumbfounding, since Peter is by far my favorite disciple/apostle. His story is  close to my heart because Peter takes a while to understand Jesus and his message. He isn’t like Paul, who is on the road to Damascus, and BAM! his life is changed. Instead, Peter is one of Jesus’ right hand men, but he doesn’t get it. Even up to the very end of Jesus’ life Peter is still confused, in denial, and missing the point. Even after everything Jesus does with Peter and the even after he places his faith in him, Peter cannot commit to agape with Jesus. He can only commit to brotherly love (John 21:15-17). Whether or not 1 Peter is actually written by Peter is debatable, but I think the contents are aligned closely enough with Peter’s other philosophies to assume that the text is at least by a disciple of his.

The question about Peter’s letter then, was humbling and also a challenge. Because I so confused by it, I started wondering about it in broad strokes. What is the context of that Scripture in 1 Peter? What is the context of that section of Scripture in the overall context of the book? What is the role of 1 Peter in the broader context of the Christian realm? What does it mean when Peter (mis)quotes a Proverb that says, “If the righteous receive their due on earth, how much more the ungodly and the sinner!” as the verse that says, “If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?” If I was answering this off the top of my head, I would say it is difficult for the righteous to be saved because they are bound by works, and not by faith in grace.

In order to answer these questions, let me begin by setting 1 Peter in context. 1 Peter was written in the early middle of the time span covered by the writings of the Christian scriptures. The earliest gospel, Mark, was written somewhere between 65 AD and 80 AD, while one of the later texts, The Gospel of John, was written between 90 AD and 120 AD. Most scholars think that 1 Peter was written between 80 AD and 100 AD, and it was geared toward Jewish Christians, but could easily be understood by Christians of all ethnicities and religious backgrounds. The text seems to be about having hope in the face of suffering, but it does not seem to dwell on interminable suffering. For the writer (presumably Peter) of this text, suffering will end eventually, but it should also be expected as part of a life lived in Christ. Simultaneously, as many texts of its age, this epistle was probably written to bolster the faith of Christians who were terrorized by the reign and persecution of Nero. It also may have been to warn about future suffering and persecution.

As I noted above I was asked specifically about verse 18, but I think it is bad to focus all attention on only one verse. It’s called proof-texting, and it is usually done to support one’s point or to make someone else feel bad about his or her level of commitment as a Christian. Let’s just say, it’s something that all people do, but that should never be done. In short, to answer my friend’s question, I think it is necessary to look at the whole passage that contains that verse. For the purposes of this exegesis, I will focus strictly on verses 12-19, because that is all I have time to write about, but I think the ideas of this section are similar to the ideas set forth throughout the whole letter. Here is the text:

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And, “If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?” So, then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continues to do good.

To me this seems pretty straightforward until the verses about judgment, but this could be because I am so entrenched in the SotM right now. However, Peter seems to be nearly quoting the SotM, when he says to rejoice in suffering. It seems logical, says Peter, for Christians to expect suffering because Christ suffered. Today, it would be like Gandhi’s followers not to expect hunger, Martin Luther King’s followers not to expect persecution, or environmentalists’ followers not to expect ridicule. Peter thinks that to be a Christian, at the very core, is to expect to have to suffer for your beliefs. How far is his understanding of Christianity from today’s churches that have their coffee shops to entice believers to get out of bed on Sunday mornings? We have changed a bit from the beginnings of our faith.

Anyway, beginning in verse 12, Peter sets down the idea that we shouldn’t be surprised when suffering comes because it should be NO surprise. Our faith is built on the suffering of Christ, so why shouldn’t we suffer?

In verse 13, Peter even tells us to rejoice in the suffering of Christ, in order that we will really get it when Christ’s glory is revealed. He doesn’t, anywhere in this passage, ask Christians to walk around miserable; he commands us, much like Jesus did in his teachings to recognize, learn from, ponder, and rejoice in Christ’s sufferings. He doesn’t say, go out and be miserable because everyone around you should know how devoted to suffering you are.

Instead in verses 14-16, we get the idea that we are to revel so much in the cause the of Christ that people will make fun of us and persecute us. These Christians weren’t getting persecuted because they had Jesus-fish bumper stickers; they were persecuted because they acted counter-culturally, rejoicing in suffering, believing in resurrection, and living communally. Peter writes, echoing the words of Jesus from the Sermon on the Mount, “If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.” (On a side note, I love that Peter puts meddlers on the level with murderers and thieves.)

Jesus says in his sermon, “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad because great are your rewards in heaven, for as they do to you, so did they do to the prophets before you.” He continues to elucidate the ways in which Christians should conduct their lives in a better way than those who will be held in judgment for murder, saying that even being angry with your brother or calling him a fool is a punishable offense.

Finally, Peter summarizes these teachings of Jesus by writing that we should praise God that we bear the name Christian. I have to confess, this convicts me a little because I am fond of saying that I am not going to call myself a Christian because of the bad connotation the word Christian carries today. Would Peter be comfortable calling himself a Christian with all the baggage the word carries? Or would Peter be one of the people who speaks out against the difference between what the world perceives to be a good Christian and what being Christian should really look like? I am conflicted.

Then, the text shifts in verse 17 as Peter begins talking about judgment. As these later (in placement in the Bible, not in date) texts tend to do, Peter focuses on the final judgment. He alludes to the fact that the end is near and makes the claim that the judgment (persecution) has begun for those who believe in the risen Christ, so what will that judgment eventually look like for those who do not know the gospel? I think that here Peter is showing his Jewish roots and making a claim about being the chosen people. If God will let us, as Christians be persecuted, what then will God allow to happen to those who do not know the gospel. I also think that Peter may be feeling somewhat compassionate toward non-Christians, as he is certain of his future in Christ, but he is uncertain of theirs. This also maintains the urgency to spread the gospel message, which I will discuss in a bit.

Verse 18, the verse that started this whole adventure, is actually an example of Peter (mis)quoting a Proverb. I put the mis- in parentheses because he doesn’t intentionally misquote Scripture; he simply writes it the way he has memorized it. (Here is where I would normally explain the whole Jewish education system, but if you want to know that information, look it up.) Proverb 11:31 falls near the end of a long list of comparisons between good and evil. As noted above it really says, “If the righteous receive their due on earth, how much more the ungodly and the sinner!” How different is that from what Peter remembers that it says! This Proverb essentially says that if you are righteous, you will receive righteousness, but if you are a sinner, you will receive accordingly.

In its own context, the Proverb falls between one that reads, “The fruit of the righteous is the tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise,” and one that reads, Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” I am not sure that the second proverb has anything to do with Peter’s intention except to remind Christians that they need to be open to correction and learning, but the one before it certainly bears on his argument by asking us to consider the fruits of righteousness. Peter was most likely banking on his readers’ understanding of the Proverbs in order for them to be able to apply the broader strokes of this Scriptural reference. In referring to the original Proverb, Peter was hoping that the readers would remember that there is a contrast between good and evil. In other words, the righteous will get theirs, but so will the sinners. You reap what you sow.

Finally, by combining all of the verses up until now with this last verse (19), it seems like Peter wants his readers to understand that their lives are meant to be filled with suffering and the contemplation of it, but that this suffering should remind them of who they are, what their lives should look like, and how their lives should present others with the gospel. Peter is echoing Jesus’ teachings: Blessed are you when you are persecuted for my sake, for yours is the kingdom of heaven. Suffering and persecution are part of Christianity, but there is the hope that we will receive what is ours if not on earth, then in heaven.

My assessment is that verse 18 is not a verse that is meant to scare people into behaving a certain way or that is meant to mean that the ungodly are inevitably doomed. In fact, I think that this whole section of 1 Peter (and in fact the whole of the epistle) is meant to encourage Christians to walk with God in spite of their sufferings, because it is only through their inexhaustible faith and hope in God that they can do good works and reap the heavenly benefits of a life lived with Christ. In fact, like Jesus says in the Sermon on the Mount, “Let your light so shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” This verse has a positive implication to compel Christians to live a life exemplary of our faith, and to cast our light far and wide to encourage others to follow Christ. We should commit ourselves to our faithful Creator “and continue to do good.” Do not be discouraged; our actions proclaim who we are and in whom we believe.

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I am thankful for God’s blessings.

Food: banana, juice, chocolate milk, almonds and M&Ms, small piece of vegan lasagna, Chipolte vegetarian salad and chips, Cadbury eggs, short soy latte, decaf Americano

Exercise: walked the dogs, ran 5 miles

Return of the Heorot

Tonight I went to the Heorot for the first time since July when we went to First Thursdays, the local art gallery openings, and sat outside with Tobias the bank robber. Tobias sort of looked like a cross between Shane Claiborne and David Crowder but without the kind eyes. I think prison for eight years will take away someone’s kind eyes if he had them to begin with. Tonight I had a Bell’s Porter that tasted skunked, a cheese pizza that was pretty salty, and a hacking cough when I left. Yep, it was the Heorot.

I am hoping that the smoke will leave my lungs by tomorrow morning. I am excited about this run because it’s the first one outside since last Saturday’s race in Indy. I am going to run this route, and I am hoping to spend at least part of the time meditating on the parts of the Sermon on the Mount (SotM) I have memorized so far.

Today’s section is Matthew 5: 21-26: You have heard that it was said long ago, “Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.” But I tell you, anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, “Raca,” is answerable to the Sanhedrin, but anyone who says, “You fool,” will be in danger of the fire of hell. Therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there and go be reconciled to your brother; then come offer your gift. Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth, you may not get out until you have paid the last penny.

This particular passage reminds me of the way we should treat each other, and in a fanciful way it reminds me of two kids getting sent to the principal’s office. To begin with, it isn’t really about murder in the physical sense; it’s more about murdering the soul of the other person. When we are angry with (or I would add jealous of) someone, our actions can be more vicious than murder and they can farther reaching consequences.What we say about other people and to other people carries tremendous power. I know I have been both the power wielder, saying horrible things about others, but I have also been the recipient of the sharply cut wounds inflicted by the tongues of others. I hope (and I am trying to make it so) that recently I have been not so much of the former.

I think Jesus recognizes that our posturing toward our fellow humans is essential in how we view God. If we are constantly angry at, jealous of, our brothers and sisters, how can we expect to devote ourselves to God? How do we expect to see or receive the kingdom of God? Or better yet, how can we focus our energy on being positive and creating peace, mercy, righteousness, and all those other good things that Jesus talks about in the beginning of this sermon if we are harboring all of that anger and hate in our hearts?

I think this sections is, for me, one of the most challenging sections of the SotM because it’s difficult for me to go to people, tell them how I have wronged them, and then ask for forgiveness. I think this is hard for all of us. And, what do I do if I extend this plea and it returns empty?  That’s sticking point of this passage: Jesus doesn’t say go ask forgiveness; he says go and be reconciled. Reconciliation requires work from both sides. If it doesn’t work, are we unable to offer our sacrifices because we cannot rightfully do it with a clean conscience?

The second part of this passage, as I said above, reminds me of two kids getting sent to the principal’s office for fighting: “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way.” Doesn’t this just make you think of when you were little and you got in trouble. Of course, you knew if made up before you got to the office, the punishment would be much less severe. At least you thought so. At the very least, you had some kind of in with the adults because you had tried to work things out. However, Jesus considers that if you can’t make up on your own, your punishment is just going to get more and more severe: judge to officer, officer to prison, prison to you won’t get out until you have paid the last penny. If you just would have tried to work it out ahead of time, you might not have even ended up in jail, but now you’re stuck there until all the debt is paid.

Basically, what I am trying to say with all of this is that Jesus is continuing the ideas from the earlier sections: there should be something different about the kingdom of God, you should be something different from the rest of the world, and this Jesus thing is a bit more difficult than some cute platitudes. Being part of the kingdom of God is not a walk in the park. It isn’t drudgery; look at all the promises offered in the Beatitudes. But it isn’t all sunshine and roses either. It’s hard work to be a child of God.

Anyway, here is what I have memorized so far:

Seeing the crowd, Jesus sat down on the mountainside. Calling his disciples to him, he began to teach them saying, Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for my sake for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when you are persecuted, insulted, and people falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad because great is your reward in heaven for they did the same thing to the prophets before you. You are the salt of the world. If the salt loses its saltiness, what is it good for? It is good for nothing and should be thrown out and trampled under foot. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Do you light a candle to put it under a bowl? Instead you light it and put it on the table so its light can be shared by everyone in the house. Let your light so shine before others so they can see your good deeds and glorify your father in heaven. You have heard it was said, Do not murder, and anyone who murders is subject to judgment, but I say anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, Raca, is answerable to the Sanhedrin, but anyone who says to his brother, You fool, is in danger of hell fire. Therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar and remember your brother is angry with you, leave your gift there and be reconciled with your brother; then return and offer your gift. Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it with you while you are on your way or he may offer you up to the judge, the judge may turn you over to the officers, and the officers will throw you in prison. I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid every penny.

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I am thankful for little kids in funny President’s costumes.

Food: banana, juice, cookies, chocolate milk, almonds and M&Ms, grapefruit, clementine, apple, beer, appetizers, cheese pizza

Exercise: walked to school, walked from RB to Burris, walked from RB to Scotty’s, walked dogs 2 miles

Ash Wednesday

I love the lyric, “if grace is an ocean we’re all sinking.” I frequently feel like I am sinking, but I never remember that it’s grace that’s drowning me.

Today is the first day of Lent, and I am overwhelmed by God already. As I have indicated, I have a difficult time memorizing Scripture, but I am diligently trying to memorize the Sermon on the Mount for Lent. By tackling a portion of it each day, I think I will do it, and I had it memorized at one time so it shouldn’t be too difficult, right? I have the Beatitudes and the salt and light down pat. From there on out it’s a story-ish. I hope that makes it easier. Every day, in the section of my posts where I list the food I eat and the exercise I do, I will write what I have memorized of the Sermon.

I have also started praying the prayer rope. I am doing it in a pretty focused and strict way, but I pray it on the bus. The act of praying on the bus is helping me to have a less stressful day. I am more able to focus on God at the beginning of the day and that focus seems to help me not get so stressed about what the day might hold in store for me. Like today, for example, I lost my ID and my iPod. I misplaced the little pouch that I keep them in. I was pretty sad because I have had that ID since 1992, but when I was praying, I recognized that in the grand scheme of thing, my ID is a very small thing.

The way I pray my prayer rope is this: Apostle’s Creed at the cross, then Lord, have mercy on me until the first bead, then the Lord’s Prayer, then Kyrie eleison until the next plastic bead, then Lamentations 3:22-23. I keep doing that repetition until I reach the middle, then I meditate on the Sermon on the Mount. I return to the repetition until I return to the cross where I recite the Apostle’s Creed. I have time to make one full revolution on the rope from my house to RB. Sometimes I can make another whole revolution while I walk to or from RB, and on those days I feel much more settled and can rest in the knowledge that God’s grace is abundant for me. I can drown in it.

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I am thankful for the nice, albeit small, track in Ball Gym.

Food: banana, juice, almonds and M&Ms, chocolate milk, leftover spaghetti, soy peanut butter sandwich, salad with two fake chicken thingys

Exercise: walked the dogs, walked from RB to Burris and back, then to the SC and back to RB, ran 4.5 miles

Seeing the crowds, Jesus went up and sat on the mountainside. His disciples came to him and he began to teach them saying, Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they who mourn for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted for my sake for theirs is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all sorts of things against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad because great is your reward in heaven, for they did the same to the prophets before you. You are the salt of the world. If salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything. It should be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill should not be hidden. Do you light a candle just to put it under a basket? Instead you light a candle, place it on a table, and its light can be seen be everyone in the house. Let your light so shine before others, so they can see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

Humbling Experiences All Around

Have you ever simply looked around and realized that when you open up and let God have [Their] way with you, you see humbling experiences all around?

That experience could be a friend who loses a child, a students’ mother who has cancer, a friend who is honest about her theological struggles, or a significant other who works hard even in the face of adversity. And somehow, they all seem to handle it with so much more grace than you think you ever could. They seem to dance and swirl in and around these adversities while you plod and thud and generally make a mess of navigating the obstacle course. You trip; they glide. And that’s just how it is. But you recognize it and are humbled by the grace of it all.

Maybe the experience comes in the quirky voice of a young pastor who encourages you to figure out who you really are, and who equates the story of our lives to writing, reminding us that it’s character that drives the story. “Plot grows out of character,” says Anne Lamott. If you have no character, you have a bad plot. What is your character? How is it shaping your plot? Our plot?

Maybe the experience comes in a class in which you feel you don’t belong, but the professor reminds you that you, too, are a teller of truth. You still feel desperately inadequate, and you hope, beyond hope, that you might actually write something that makes you feel less so.

Maybe the experience comes when you learn that people don’t perceive your actions the way you intend for them to perceive them, that they don’t get who you are and what you are about. They don’t understand that more than anything else you respect all of humanity, trying each day to see Jesus inside each body, each heart, each mind.

Maybe that experience comes when you have such an intense respect for others you have a physiological response to homelessness that isn’t pity, but something deeper that you can’t name. Your heart doesn’t break, but you wish that instead of learning from them, you could find something inside yourself to teach.

Maybe these experiences happen all around you, all the time, but you just can’t see them unfolding. Maybe you are so caught up in making your story work that you can’t see the things God is trying to make work for you. That is who I am most of the time, but I am trying to see God’s hand in it, and I am working to let God write my story, and I am seeking to be the character I think I am meant to be. And it’s humbling.

This isn’t the most exciting video, but I think the words go well with how I am feeling right now.

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I am thankful for finishing another draft.

Food: banana, juice, oatmeal, chocolate milk, cookies, rice noodle soup, granola bar, diet 7-Up, rice crackers, two pieces of pizza and bread sticks, Taddy Porter

Exercise: walked the dogs, walked home from church, ran 3 miles, rode bike from RB to church

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Seeing the crowd, Jesus went up on the mountain and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them. Blessed are those who are poor in spirit, for their is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for the they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you.

Gotta Love My Life. Oh, Yes, I Do!

Just as I sat down to write tonight, I heard a weird noise. Half-sounding like Becky wheezing when her asthma is bad and half-sounding like my poor mostly-dead Mojo-cat crying, the noise I realized was the Bullshit-Fuck Guy who occasionally walks past our house. I think I wrote about him last summer when he awakened us at four in the morning with a string of curse words that I could have ridden from here to Nebraska. He was hurling them out of his mouth like Zeus threw thunderbolts but they were missing every target and hitting the concrete hard. “Fuck all of y’all. This is bullshit. Fuck! Shit!” These sounds followed him all the way from Granville and Walnut to Elm Street. The noise I just heard was the same voice, the same intonation shouting, “Fuck all y’all. This is bullshit.” All of our lights are on, and I think he saw us look out the window because he only said it twice and then stopped. But I am not sure if he is rational enough to stop because people are looking. He may have just decided not to fuck all y’all.

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Today was the first training run for the Indy-Mini. I felt pretty good going into it because I have been doing all of the runs on my training plan. I was only worried this morning about the temperature and the fact that I had been training on the evil arc-trainer instead of outside. It was snot-freezing cold, and I was afraid my lungs would burn. However, I finished with my best time for a 5K yet: 40.11. That is 12:56 per mile, which beats the hell out of my time last time (44 and some odd seconds). Next month we run 6.1 miles, and I hope to finish in about 1:20.00. Obviously, that is the same average speed for six miles as I ran for three miles, but I seem to be a bit of a metronome. After the race, one of the Burris students who also runs came over and chatted with me, and I think that made my day really sweet.

When I began this running thing, I honestly thought I wouldn’t last. I thought I would wuss out and stop after a couple of months. I started last June 13, weighing in at 256 pounds when my family and I got back from summer vacation. My average time for a mile when I started run/walking was 16 minutes. I am happy to say that I have lost 35 pounds—I had lost 45, but then there’s Christmas and all—and my time hovers right around 13 minutes per mile. My goal is to finish the Mini in under 3 hours. If I can run 13 minutes per mile for the entire time, I should finish right at 2:49.00. I would be thrilled. Hell, I will be thrilled just to finish.

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On the way home from the training today, we stopped at Trader Joe’s. I purchased a “Mystery Beer” sampler, which consists of six beers selected by the workers of Trader Joe’s all for the low, low price of $6.43. The trick is that you don’t know what beers you are getting. Of course I couldn’t wait until I got home to see what beers I had received, so I opened the bag in the parking lot. I got a Trader Jose’s (like Coronoa), several lagers, a couple of ales, and, prepare yourself, one was in a can. A can? Unless it’s PBR, it shouldn’t come in a can. What an abomination!

Once I got over the startling realization that I would be drinking beer from a can, we got in the car and drove home. We had to stop at PetSmart and buy food for the animals, and then we headed to Marsh for some final ingredients for one of our favorite dishes, Spicy Pinenut Basil Pasta. We were out of pinenuts, and I was out of orange juice. (If you are wondering if there is a reason I am telling you all of this, there is.) As we were in traffic on McGalliard, waiting for the light to change on Oakwood, I started to get a bit of a headache. By the time we arrived at Marsh, I told Bec she would have to drive home.

When we got home, I thought I would just go sleep off my headache because it didn’t seem to be horrible. Was I ever wrong!  I experienced the worst migraine I have had since I have been an adult. I wish my head had only felt like it was in a vice grip. Instead it felt as if Santa, his reindeer, and the Easter Bunny were tap-dancing inside my sinus cavities. Typically, I can take four Ibuprofen (but I hate taking medicine), and my headaches go away, so after I tried sleeping it off with no success, I reluctantly took four Ibuprofen and tried to go back to bed. I couldn’t even lie down. I was nauseous and in intense pain, so I did what every grown person who gets a headache does. I cried. Hard. In fact, I was a blubbering fool, making quite a little spectacle out of myself. I tried taking a hot shower, but felt like I was going to pass out and fall in the tub, so I went upstairs and laid down in my bed. When I woke up it was 7:33. I slept for four hours in all. Ridiculous. It’s a good thing I have all day tomorrow to work on my dissertation proposal that is supposed to be finished tomorrow night.

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When I finally woke up, I decided to go ahead and make Deliciousness (see above pasta dish) for dinner, and it ended up being one of the best batches I’ve made. That went to so well, I thought I would continue by making some vegan chocolate cookies. I used this recipe but replaced the eggs with bananas, the butter with vegan margarine, the white sugar with half as much brown sugar, the white flour with wheat flour, and the chocolate chips with dried cranberries and almonds. In short, I totally changed the recipe, but now it’s vegan and somewhat healthy. Well, it’s as healthy as cookies can be, right? But we don’t eat cookies to be healthy. The cookies are waiting in the refrigerator until I get finished typing this, then I will go bake them. I am sure they will be scandalously delicious.EDIT: They are awesome! Mmmm.

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I have decided yet again to work more diligently at only saying things that are kind, positive, and edifying. I find that I can be incredibly angst-ridden, bitter, and negative if I let myself be. I don’t want to be those things, so I am again regrouping and making a concentrated effort to only say those things that leave people feeling better about themselves after they have been with me. I like people who leave me feeling that way. I want to be one of them for others.

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Finally, I come to the end of this long, long post. I am working diligently on this Sermon on the Mount: Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on the mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they will inherit the kingdom of God. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Again, the bold indicates the parts I couldn’t remember. Maybe I should employ these suggestions.

Here’s a Sermon on the Mount video for you to enjoy:

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I am thankful for people I don’t know who congratulate me on a good run and cheer for the slow kids in the back of the pack.

Food: banana before running, juice, banana after running, apple, shortbread, chocolate milk, chips and hummus, whole wheat pasta with tofu, mushrooms, basil, and pinenuts, beer, two cookies

Exercise: walked the dogs, ran 3.1 miles