I have decided to try something new this summer: I have two BIG goals that I am striving toward. But, what’s different about this summer is that I am not telling anyone really about these goals; well, I am telling them I have goals, but not what they are. One of them, I am telling no one (maybe I’ll tell my wife if I feel like it). I told my friend Molly this morning about the other one, and Bec, Merideth, and Adam know about that same one. The other one, however, is just for me. I am being very selfish. I have read a lot lately about having goals that you don’t share until you accomplish them, and how important that is to people as they get older.
On my way to Minnesota, I listened to a book called Lifespan. I recommend it. While I am not sure I can get behind some of it, much of the rest of it seems really important and probably some things that we should strive toward. The thing I am not sure about is that the author David Sinclair advocates taking metformin and another supplement called NMN in order to thwart the aging of our cells. I understand his anecdotal research as well as his medical lab research is compelling, but I have also read other studies, now, including an article from a British medical journal that says metformin has a negligible effect on cell structure and aging. I haven’t done as much research, yet, on NMN, but plan to do so. What I can get behind is that he wants people to add health, not just longevity to their lives, so he suggests regular exercise, lowering food intake, and practicing cognitive functions. I believe that health is most important, and I think diet, exercise, and brain stimulation help us with that. The book was fascinating overall, and I will probably listen to it again some time.
On my way home from Minnesota, I listened to all but about an hour of A World Appears in which Michael Pollan discusses what it means to be conscious on many levels: human, animal, cellular, AI and computer, and likely some other ways that I am not remembering. This book was one of the more interesting books I’ve read recently, because it made me think critically about AI, which I am mostly against. After reading this, I am a bit intrigued by some of the uses of AI and conversations he explores. I thought there was a lot of information, but it was easily digestible, even through an audiobook, because of his writing style, the way he organized the information, and the way he read it (it was excellent, even on 1.3x). The chapters were organized based on large topics, but then broken down logically: “Sentience,” “Feeling,” “Thoughts,” and “Self.” There was also a thread of using psychedelics to facilitate consciousness, which interested me, because so many people are doing research into their use for both meditation and trauma recovery.
For the first time in several years, I am excited for my birthday, I am excited for a new school year, and I am excited to be alive. I am harvesting joy like the older Asian women harvested ramps and wild onions at Fort Ben during COVID! Only I don’t think the joy will run out. Since April, I have visited Finland for a conference for school, watched a baseball game with my 6th graders, gone to Washington DC with my 8th graders, and gone to Minnesota twice. But, the fun thing about my life right now is how I am finding small joys along the way. In Finland, we saw so many jackdaws, and I loved every part of that. My mom and dad always loved birds, so every time I see them, I think of them. I have a pair of cardinals and a pair of mourning doves living the two trees outside my front door. Adam and I have started going to the “Screen Unseen” movies on Monday nights; we share a popcorn, and I get an Icee. I swam an open water swim where the lake weeds touched my face during part of, but our oldest son and two of our grandkids came to watch, and then we got donuts. Bec and I have hiked around Wita Tanka twice and meditated where the Minnesota and Mississippi Rivers come together. I have a new favorite nano-brewery that has the best vibe. I got to sit in the contemplation room at the National Museum of African American History and Culture, and I got to hang out with the best tour guides ever. Luna is getting older and is on drugs, so she is calmer and more fun to be with, and she sleeps soundly through the night, so I do too. I am starting my admin degree in the fall, am coordinating our IMPACT program, and am coaching cross country again in the fall.
Basically, I am loving life right now, because I am spending time nourishing myself instead of someone else, and I am trying to hard to focus, shed negativity, and not jinx my joy by waiting for it to end. The last time I met with my therapist, she suggested that I write down what angers me, with the hopes that I will eventually gain the ability to express that anger to the person in the moment without being too aggressive or overly explaining myself. I have yet to write it out, but at night before I go to sleep, I have been running through my day and making a note of what has angered me. I am also noting where I have been fully present and what has brought me joy.
Reason Breeds Insanity 