Reason Breeds Insanity

In honor of daylight savings time, and to protest the stupidity of it, I am taking a nap today. It isn’t like I didn’t read the Scriptures, but I didn’t have the energy to write about them and form a cohesive thought today. I closed on Friday night, working until 1:30AM, which means I didn’t go to sleep until 2ish. Then I had to be back at work at 10AM on Saturday, so I got about 7 hours of sleep. I need at least 8 to function. I got home from work at 6:30PM and went to bed at 10ish (which is now 11ish), and got up at 3:30AM. Needless to say, I didn’t function really well on my eight hour shift today, and I am not functional enough to try to think about the meaning of what I am reading. All that to say, here are the Scriptures for yesterday and today:

Micah 7: 14-20
Luke 15: 1-32

Exodus 17: 3-7 (I love Exodus)
Romans 5: 1-8
John 4:5-42

Enjoy, meditate, and learn well.

Jeremiah 17:5-10
Luke 16:19-31

Genesis 37:3-4, 12-13, 17-28
Matthew 21:33-46

In the past few days I have read two books that have wrenched my heart and rocked my world. Well, I have read one and I am in the middle of the other. If you have time, you should read both books.

A Good War is Hard To Find: The Art of Violence in America by David Griffin
Under the Overpass: A Journey of Faith on the Streets of America by Mike Yankoski

If these two books don’t at least encourage you to stop and think, then I don’t know what will: “He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.'”

Jeremiah 18:18-20
Matthew 20:17-28

One of the reasons I love Jeremiah is that he has a servant’s heart. He whines about it a lot, but eventually he gets it and does the right thing. I like Jeremiah because he reminds me of who I am, and who I need to become. I whine a lot about doing what I know needs to be done, but I do it, usually. I also like the fact that he isn’t afraid to show how his heart is breaking for his people at the same time that they are driving him to maddening anger: I love them, but why don’t they get it? I know that I am no prophet, but there are times when I, too, feel like everyone is out to get me. He reminds me of David in many ways, constantly second guessing God: “Should good be repaid with evil?” Jeremiah feels like he isn’t getting what he deserves, but really we don’t deserve any of this—every good thing is a gift from God. I love it, too that Jeremiah feels like he needs to stand in front of God and remind [Them]: “Remember that I stood before you and spoke in their behalf to turn your wrath away from them,” but he is really trying to incite God’s wrath on the Israelites. He is sort of saying, remember that last time you wanted to kill them and I stuck up for them, well I’m sick of it—do whatever you want to them. Good guy, that Jeremiah.

The interesting facet of the role of the prophets is that they foreshadow Jesus as the Messiah. We see Jeremiah shying away from his role as the intercessor for and disciplinarian of the Israelites. In Matthew, we get a glimpse of what it really means to be a servant in Jesus. It means that when I want accolades, I look for more opportunites for service. When I think I want to look good in front of people, I reach inside myself and find a slaves heart. When I want to be served, I tie on an apron and serve others. And I don’t whine about it, Jeremiah.

I think the positioning of these two stories in Matthew is amazing: first we learn that Jesus is going to be sacrificed, and immediately after the disciples learn about his fate, two of them start fighting over who gets to sit next to him in His kingdom. We just learned that you are going to die, but we want to sit next to you. They are essentially saying the same thing the prodigal son said when he asked for his inheritance: I like you, but I want your power/riches/authority, and I am going to say so before it’s too late.

Have I ever been so short sighted? Am I today?

1 Peter 5:1-4

Matthew 16: 13-19
“Who do you say I am?” I am not sure that if Jesus looked me in the face and asked me that same question that I would be able to answer the way Peter does: “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.” I mean, I could say that part, but I get the feeling that Peter didn’t hesitate and didn’t question what he was saying (at least at this point). If Jesus and I were sitting around drinking some beer at the Heorot or some other Draught House, which is how I always picture interacting with Jesus because I am incredibly uncomfortable in most social settings (beer is the great equalizer), and he looked at me through the smokey haze and said: “Who do you say I am?” I would probably fall off the bar stool and get a concussion first. Then when I came to, I would say between deep drags on my clove cigarette (I smoke when I get nervous, too): “Ummm, well, ummm, I have said you were different people at different times in my life: a great prophet, just a man, God, the Son of God, my savior….” Then my voice would trail off and I would probably fall over again. Never would I have the togetherness about myself to say: “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.” I might now, now that Peter said it.

I have always wondered what Jesus means by: “who do others say the Son of Man is?” Is he referring to himself in the third person, like “Bob Dole has E.D.” or is he asking if people who came before him were perceived to be the Christ?

I wonder, because if he is referring to himself in the third person, as in, who do people say Jesus is, then their answers lead me to believe they thought Jesus was a reincarnation or a spectral vision of a previous prophet: “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” Any way you look at it, if Jesus was asking who people thought he was, they more easily accepted that Jesus was Elijah than that he was the Christ. Okay, so if you take it that Jesus is asking: “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” as in: “who is the Christ (Son of Man)?” Then their answers make sense. Some thought John Baptist was the Son of Man (Christ); some thought Elijah, etc. Some thought many previous prophets were the Messiah.

Given that the next question is: “What about you? Who do you say I am?,” I assume that the first question: “Who do people say the son of man is?” is Jesus asking who people say that he is. So people in this time were more comfortable assuming that Jesus was a resurrection, a reincarnation, a spectral vision, or something else of one of the former prophets, than they were of believing that he was the Messiah, Savior, Christ. Perhaps that is why he tells Peter: “Blessed are you…for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven.” I’m pretty sure that Peter was elated at getting that answer right! Although his reward is astounding: “on this rock I will build my church.” Interesting, Peter answers correctly and his reward is the heaviest burden given to a disciple. He gets to shoulder the new church, although he does get the keys to the kingdom.

Lent has never seemed so long to me before. Could it be that the changes I am called to make this year drag the time out? Could it be that I am waiting for so many things: to celebrate Easter, to complete this research paper, to graduate, to simply work without having school as well, to start exercising again, to have time to just be, and to get summer started? I wait to see how it will all turn out.

Daniel 9:4-10
This morning I was startled awake by a noise from the general direction of the kitchen. It sounded like Becky had just heard horrible news on the radio or gotten a bad voicemail or something tragic. In reality, she she had simply cussed as the cat had knocked over the bottle of water she was filling. In my sleepy haze, it seemed much worse. A few minutes later, as I was finishing a book for class called A Good War is Hard to Find: The Art of Violence in America, which I highly recommend, she came into the bedroom and said, “Oh, great biblical scholar, *sarcasm* what does ‘confusion of face’ mean?” I had no clue, so I looked up this passage in Daniel in my bible. In her version, the red leatherbound RSV complete with pictures that she received at her confirmation or baptism, the word for shame or shameful thing is translated as confusion of face.

When I sat down here at the table to spend some time in the word (that sounds so evangelical), I sat here perplexed for a minute trying to figure out why the two translations would differ so greatly in their word choice. I then discovered that the Hebrew actually says that the shame is on our faces (boshet haphanim). When we carry shame on our faces, it confuses who we are. We are created in the image of God, but when we break that relationship with God, the shame, like the shame of Adam and Eve who sought to cover their beautifully naked bodies, confuses who we really are. We cannot see the image of God in each other because our faces are so confused by shame. I wonder if there isn’t some correlation to the practice of covering the body with sackcloth and ashes; if your face were covered in ashes to convey your shame at your sin, then your face would be confused. Twice in this prayer, Daniel talks about the shame on our faces, so I assume it was important to Daniel for the Lord to understand the extent of Daniel’s shame—although Daniel doesn’t say my shame, he says our shame, making the sin he is confessing communal not personal. Perhaps, we need to pray more communally, which goes back to my issue yesterday of bearing the shame for others. If our prayers are communal, the shame is communal. It takes a whole village to raise a child. It takes a whole people to confess a shared sin.

I am sure that the expression shame on our faces somehow evolved into saving face. Isn’t saving face trying to avoid being shamed in public?

Luke 6:36-50
What can I say? This is beautiful. A woman comes and transfers her shame and her guilt and her sin onto her savior. How much more beautiful does Scripture get? The beauty is in Jesus’ willingness to accept her shame while using it to teach the Pharisees about love and forgiveness. The beauty is in this “sinful woman’s” willingness to expose her own shame and desperation in a way that humbles all those in the room. She literally cries her sin and shame onto Jesus’ feet. I could go on for about twenty pages about this story, so I will stop and just ponder its beauty in my life.

My goal today is to begin to absorb the shame for others and to try to revel in the beauty of things.