Surely, it would be funnier if I was really doing this (running through Bracken), but I am not. I am sitting quite sedately on the same chair that I have been sitting on for hours here at Bracken library. I have completed yet another one of my many tasks. Since I just sent my stuff to Hailey, now all I have to do is my book club stuff, and start my paper for Victorian literature. I just looked at the clock and I have literally been sitting here for close to four hours. I am trying to decide right now whether I want to sit here for another four to finish my book club stuff, or maybe I should go home and get up in the morning and do it. Augh! It is like it never ends.
We went running again tonight and it was really nice. The sunset had just begun as we leaving the house and it is the perfect temperature for running/jogging/barely moving faster than walking. I wish I could live somewhere that was fall all year ’round. I love everything about it. I love that it makes me want to move around and be lively.
I was thinking today about God, shocking I know, and I wonder sometimes what God thinks about what we think about [Them]? Does God invest as much in wondering what we think as we do in wondering what [They] think? I mean so much ink is spilled about Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, Hindu, etc. topics. Does God hang out up there, out there, around there thinking I wonder what those little humans think of me? I know, God’s omniscient, right? But what if not, does the being that created this mess wonder what we’re up to at all ever? It sort of reassures me to think about this from time to time. I mean God can’t be omniscient if [They] couldn’t find Adam and Eve in the garden after they sinned. Even so, I think it might be kind of neat to have a God that is concerned with our thoughts about [Them]—little disconcerting given our recent actions about God, and a little upsetting given some of the current conversations going on about God. You have to think sometimes that God is laughing at our insanity: what in the world are they doing now?
We think, many times, that we are so advanced, so technologically savvy, so beyond everything, that looking at something as complex as a spider’s web isn’t awe inspiring anymore. We have lost so much of that awe. We have traded in awe for mild amusement, if we even notice. I think God is saddened by that cheapening, but I think [They] also just laugh at us: “You were given the most beautiful amazing creation, and you thought you had to create more to be satisfied. The answer was always already me.” I think that is God’s love song to us: “The answer was always already me.”
I had to do some research for a presentation about Calvinism, and I still don’t think I fully understand grace. I need to read If Grace Is True: Why God Will Save Every Person by Phillip Gulley and James Mulholland. Their general premise is that God saves everyone; that if grace is true, why is there a hell? I think I am starting to wonder the same things. Why is there a hell? Is there really? In the Jewish Scriptures there is no concept of hell as we know it, so where did our definition of hell originate? If grace is true, why would we need a hell? I need to read the book. “The answer was always already me.”