Why Communism Is Good by Corby Roberson

If I had it all to do over again, I think I would have moved to a commune somewhere in the Pacific Northwest right after high school before the capitalists got me. I would have skipped the whole college thing and made baskets for a living or something crazy like that, because I hate money. I hate it with the deepest core of my being. If you can hate one thing, it is the effects of money on people. There are some of us who never have enough, and those of us who have so much we can’t properly manage it. I am amazed at how much conversation the topic of the “richest people” in the world generates, and not surprisingly, they are all men. You would never know they are all men by the way we glue ourselves to the telly watching Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and whatever female is our weekly exploitation. However, I once heard a statistic that the five richest people in the world have a as much wealth as the fifteen poorest countries. I am not sure how accurate that is, because I couldn’t find where I read it. At any rate, the money situation in our world is out of control! How does a world get so out of whack monetarily? If I had to write a composition for middle school English about America and my pride in our country, I think, knowing what I know now, I would write about why America should be communist—or at least communalist with socialized medicine or health insurance for everyone—and why I am so ashamed of who we have become. How can we justify killing the very people we armed (and trained)? That’s like giving a starving kid a cookie and telling her not to eat it! Or teaching a kid how to read, but telling him that some books are off limits. You can’t give people tools to inflict destruction and then get pissed off when they do it! How dare we. We have been very bad, and we can’t even take care of own people, much less afford to buy more bombs and guns! So, I propose we eradicate money, which is according to a very old book that I happen to love, the root of all evil! I would end my middle school rant with these words: Capitalism makes us kill each other, and if every one worked together like on a big sustainable farm (that was for you, Pastor), crafting, growing things, and wearing patchouli, and no antiperspirant, and coloring outside the lines, we could all get along. This is why capitalism is bad and communism is good. Capitalism kills people. Thanks.

On a much more fun, and way less serious note, my friends are coming home!!!!! They are moving back in early July, so we are going to wait to have our hundredth anniversary party for our house until they get here. I am SO excited. Now I actually get to see the kid grow up! Yippee! If anyone hears of any openings in English anywhere, let me know, so I can spread the good word. Now if I can just figure out how to pay to go see Merideth, I will be in luck!

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