Have you ever gone out for drinks with people and only ordered a water? With a lime? When everyone else is drinking alcohol, drinking limed water is a bit awkward. It isn’t like having your pants unzipped while you are teaching awkward, but it is more like forgetting the punchline of a joke awkward because you become the awkwardness instead of your action being awkward. For some reason, for me, being awkward is much less awkward than performing awkward actions. It’s almost as if I can own own my awkwardness, but performing awkward actions makes me feel as if everyone notices the action and then judges me for it. Whereas, when I embody awkwardness, no one notices how odd I am or they just accept it as part of who I am, thereby they don’t judge. What do you think? Which is worse, an awkward action or simply living awkwardly?
I rode my bicycle to school today, but it was to cold and slippy to ride home. I got a ride home in a car that was all warm and cozy and not slippy.
When you go to the MTCup, don’t bother asking the barista if the chai tea is decaf. Chances are she won’t know.
“Well, there isn’t any coffee, no shots of espresso, in it if that’s what you mean. It’s just powered chai mix and milk.” She blinks and chews her gum.
“Chai has tea in it, usually black tea, which contains caffeine. Do you know if you have any decaf chai?”
“Well, I know it has tea, but I am not sure if it has caffeine.” Blink. Blink.
“Okay, I will just have a decaf soy vanilla latte,” I concede as I resist explaining that I don’t mean literally decaffeinated soy milk, but that I want the decaffeinated espresso in my latte, which will be made with soy milk and fake vanilla syrup. On top of it all my wheat bagel has a funk and is hard on one side like chewing baseball card bubble-gum.
I am thankful for new friendships.
Exercise: dog walking, bike transporting
Food: Clif bar, apple, muffin, milk, juice, sloppy jane with cheese, salad, leftover cake, decaf soy vanilla latte
a couple of things:
1) we never had chai at the Cup, so unless they’ve changed something, it was always caffeinated and very sugared. that’s what i told people: if the limited amount of caffeine in it didn’t do it for ya, the sugar will. WHEE.
2) i really needed to read your encouragement the other night. turns out, i’ve got a less healthy relationship with shitty first drafts than i always hope i do. i have a lot of slicing and dicing to do, after a really helpful phone conversation about it with Dad. but it felt like an overwhelming amount of work for a piece i wasn’t sure HAD a point. after you commented, though, just that little thing, i wanted to tackle it again.
3) riding bikes on the ice is always a fun idea, in theory, but in execution i’ve never had luck. after some awkward spills, my sad suggestion is to walk. 😦