I Suppose I Can Say This

I suppose I can say without any negative repercussions, except possibly admitting later that I didn’t get either  job, that I have applied for two jobs at Burris: a middle school language arts position and an elementary position. I am torn as I try to decide which one I want more.

I love small children because they are wide-eyed with wonder at the world. They haven’t had a chance to become cynical. They still rely on you to present information to them and then to challenge them to think critically about it, and they don’t approach everything you ask them to do with suspicion or incredulity. For the most part they are eager and interested in what’s going on around them. Also, when you teach elementary school, you have the option of teaching everything together. There is no distinct line drawn in the sand between English and Social Studies and Science; they all blend together and one subject supplements the other, like they do in real life.

However, I would also love the middle school job. Middle schoolers are in this amazing in-between place where they aren’t quite grown-ups and they aren’t quite children. Or they are clumsily trying to navigate between the two. I would love this job because there are so many fundamentals in language arts that happen in middle school. In fact, they have released a new study, which says that what students learn in middle school is more of a determinant of their future success than what they learn in high school. That makes sense. A good base is the key to any educational endeavor. Besides, even though they are sometimes snarky and hateful, middle schoolers need teachers who love them unconditionally, but who also enforce the rules and challenge their intellectual abilities. I think the early teenage years, more than most would like to admit, are THE most important years of human development. Children are either made or broken in grades six through eight.

I do know that I grow tired of the drama surrounding the selection process for the jobs. I have an incredibly low tolerance for drama, and my threshold has been reached. I appreciate it when people are honest. For the most part, when people find they have to manipulate others, their desire to do so comes from their own insecurities. I know this, but sometimes it doesn’t make it any better. I will never get why we can’t just be honest with each other and why people need to play games. I simply will never understand it.

*

My training for the Indy-Mini, which is coming up one month from tomorrow, is going better than I had anticipated. Last week was the best training week so far. I ran 28 miles, and felt amazing at the end of the week. This week is a “rest” week in which I will only run 17 miles. It should have been 21, but I took today off. I woke up late and have just been exhausted. I have probably been exhausted because I haven’t been eating well, and I am overwhelmed with life right now. Teaching, working on my dissertation proposal, and worrying about all the job stuff wears on my body and it comes out in my physical exhaustion and inability to run hard. I have also started playing racquetball, which contributes to my body’s weariness.

Maybe that’s the best word for my state of being right now: I am weary.Weary.

On a more exciting note, I have almost committed to training for my first marathon. I think I have chosen the 15th Annual Indianapolis Marathon. I am looking for volunteers to run this race at the same time I run it. I say run at the same time because I am so slow (I move at about a 12:30 to 13:00 mile); I would hate to inflict anyone with the burden of actually running with me. Running with me as opposed to running at the same time implies that we would have to stay together while running. We would not. Any takers? The race takes place on Saturday, October 16 and it only costs $50 until July 31.

*

I am thankful for rest.

Exercise: racquetball for an hour, walking around campus a bit, walking the dogs

Food: banana, orange juice, tall dark cherry mocha frappucino, Puerto vegetarian D and chips and salsa, two pretzels, seven mini Cadbury eggs, medium cherry/grape Artic Rush