Major Life Changes: No April Fool’s Day Joke

It’s no secret to anyone who knows me that I’ve gotten super fat again, and that I’ve been sick pretty much all winter long. Since some time in November, around Thanksgiving I’d say, I’ve been sick or not feeling 100% more than I’ve been well or even feeling 80% or better. A couple of days in January and a couple more in February I couldn’t even drag myself from the couch. I missed work more this winter than in the entire time I’ve been working combined.

In addition to being a coughing, sneezing, tired, achy mess, I’ve also been inordinately itchy, which I think is some sort of allergic response to something. If I forget to take my allergy pill in the morning, by the early evening, the itchiness is over the top to the point where I have bruised myself or bloodied myself with the fierceness of my scratching.

Because of the misery of labored breathing, aching joints, and constant itching, I’ve done very little aside from sitting on the couch, watching Netflix, and wishing my life was way more awesome than it has been. I mean I’ve hiked some and swam some, but I’ve really done no physical activity to write home about. Consequently, I’ve gotten really fat again. I can tolerate being fat, but super fat is where I draw the line. For my own comfort, super fat is not okay.

On April 1, 2016, I will usher in a life change. Again. I’m serious, though it’s April Fool’s Day.

I’m publishing this now because I’m hoping to leave behind a few things that get in my way of doing positive things for myself, or that get in the way of me getting out of the house on a more regular basis. I’m grabbing the reins of this horse, and turning her fat behind around. I’m leaving the social medias for the next 30 days, and hopefully for the next 365 days, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Don’t worry, I still have a phone, so you can call or message me.

To begin the diet changes I think are necessary to feel better, I’m doing a bit of a detox, and not the kind where I drink 8 million gallons of water and suck only on ripe lemons harvested by llamas on a beach in Brazil. I’m cutting out some things which I think may be harming my body or at the very least causing me discomfort in the way of itching and inflammation.

To make a long story short: sugar goes bye-bye, wheat goes bye-bye, and dairy goes bye-bye. If I am not mistaken, this is common practice when trying to find the allergen that is causing discomfort. So basically, I’ll be a gluten-free, sugar-free vegan. For at least the next 30 days. If I feel better, I’ll keep on. If I don’t, I’ll find an allergist up here to figure out what is going on. Don’t be sad if I don’t eat the food you offer to me. I’m not being rude; I’m simply trying to figure out why I am so achy and itchy, because I’m tired of feeling like yuck.

For the next 30 days, I am making a promise to myself that I will spend one hour outside moving about. If I take a walk, if I go for a hike, if I run, I will spend 60 minutes in nature moving. I would love it if this would grow to include some swimming and weightlifting, but, again, I am doing this more to feel better than for any weight-loss goal right now. I just need to stop itching and feel well.

I’m hoping these health changes will move me toward starting to run again, because I really miss it. I have just looked at some photos from about 6 or 7 years ago to find record of the fact that I could run 15 miles at a time. I was, at one time, running 3 or 4 miles in the morning, then some more in the evening. I’d be happy if I could just run a 5K without feeling like I might die. Maybe that day will return.

I hope to make this a 365-day-long experiment, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I hope to feel better by March 31 of next year, but I want to focus on the next 30 days instead.

I have heard that the answer is 42. I’ll be 42 this year, so maybe it’s my year.

EDIT: In the interest of full disclosure, I’m addicted to candy and sweets. I can’t control myself when I am around them, and I’ve been inspired by my friend over at Travels with Freckles to change my life.

I’ll use today for an example of food consumption. We went to Easter Brunch, which is a thing up here, at the Green Mill. I had a mimosa, salad, a donut, about a quarter of a pizza, some spinach dip and bread, some butter and bread, six little rice kripsy treat bird nests with icing and mini cadbury eggs, and probably some things I am forgetting.

To burn off the calories, we went for a four- to five-mile walk at Afton State Park. It was beautiful and amazing. But afterwards I needed some strawberry milk.And then I needed some jelly beans and marshmallow bunnies and chicks (think circus peanuts, but shaped like Easter things). And a three- or four-hour nap.

For dinner, when I woke up from sleeping, I had a bowl of popcorn, and some (okay, an entire bag of) Malt M&Ms.

Long story short: I need to get my shit together before I make myself diabetic, hypertensive, and at risk for heart-disease by eating so much crap. Not to mention that I can’t fit into any of my dress clothes, and Burris graduation is coming up in two months.