Recently I felt as if I was betrayed by a friend, and I got really in my feelings about it. I was moping and thinking about how much I wish I wasn’t a person who values other people, as in I want to be more like my brother and some of my other friends, who can just stop caring about a person when they have betrayed them enough times. One of my big triggers is feeling like I am someone’s last resort, and I have a friend who makes me feel that way a lot, so instead of getting upset, I turned to looking for ways to “not give away [my] emotional capital” as my therapist so smartly put it a couple of months ago.
Anyway, instead of just being upset at this person, I decided to vent a bit to two people, then I looked to find some articles about how to guard my heart. I found a great article called “Psychotherapist: 10 Ways to Stop Giving People Power Over You,” and while it isn’t the usual heady sort of thing I would usually seek out, the article did have some good information for me to consider. One of the things that resonated the most with me, being an enneagram four and also always seeking to live a consistent ethic, was this bit of advice: Live according to your values.
The part of the advice that seemed the most eye-opening to me was when Amy Morin wrote: “Identify the things that are most important to you, and live accordingly. [. . .] When you are confident in your priorities, other people’s judgments will matter less.” I don’t really know what else I want to say about this, because I wrote this several months ago, but what is here seems like solid enough advice to push the publish button on. Live according to your values.
Reason Breeds Insanity 