The poem I read for this past week is called “When the Fact of Your Gaze Means Nothing, Then You Are Truly Alongside,” and it was written by Donika Kelly. I read the poem every day of the week and the thing I noticed about it, is that the more familiar I got with the poem, the more beautiful it became. I missed the point of it the first couple of days, and then I realized that this poem is all about becoming a part of something so much so, that you don’t notice that you’re a part of it. You are with it, in it, around it, no longer an observer, but a participant. I love the refrain “this is a process.” Everything is a process.
I bumped into a friend of mine at Target this morning. I’ve been sick for a few days, so I had run out of food and had to go buy groceries, which is a much more pleasant thing ona Tuesday morning than it is on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon when I usually shop. But, my friend was telling me about some difficult things in her life, and then she said, but we’ll make it through because we have to. We don’t have a choice. And, of course, this reminded me of the poem I’d been reading for seven days, and that “this is a process.” A process through which we will survive, and, if we’re lucky, grow.
Being sick is a process, too. I have been sick since the Sunday before we went back to school this semester, but I pushed through the first week back, because a teacher never wants to miss during that first week, because that first week is when all of your norms for the classroom get set and routines get established, and it’s rough to ever come back from missing. By Friday afternoon, I left early and went home at 1PM and slept through the night. I felt so much better that I tried to complete the Night Trail 1/4 Marathon, which invovles a headlamp, lots of snow, 6.55 miles of uphill and downhill trekking, and cold temperatures. And, then, by Sunday afternoon, I was sick. As of Tuesday, I am still sick and trying to decide if I will, in fact, be at school tomorrow.
What I am learning from this world right now is that I need to look at life as a process. I can’t help getting sick. I get sick a lot. And it’s usually pretty bad. I’ve had a generally healthy year for me, so I can’t really complain about this round of whatever it is. I didn’t take a COVID test, because I’ve had COVID four times and this doesn’t feel like that. I just feel achy with lots of mucus and a very sore throat. So, I am hoping that I wake up tomorrow right as rain, and that I can be at school, then be at therapy, and then go on our field trip on Thursday and this will be behind me.
This is a process.
Reason Breeds Insanity 