Reason Breeds Insanity

Numbers 21: 4-9
I am sorry that I didn’t read this when I was supposed to read it. I love the book of Numbers, which is sort of like admitting that I love the book of Chronicles as well. I love it because the Israelites continually whine about not having all of the great things they had in Egypt: “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the desert? There is no bread! There is no water! And we detest this miserable food!” This passage always reminds me of when I was in middle school and high school. I helped with this program every summer that gave food to kids stuck in the throes of poverty. Each church in my hometown took a day each week and fed any child that wanted to come be served a good, well-balanced meal. They started the day after school got out and went until the day it started again in the fall. It always amazed me that the kids were so picky. I was thinking: free food, eat it. At this point in my life I think, everyone deserves the opportunity to be picky, and that we often observe as pickiness is simply the human longing for choice. The Israelites in the desert couldn’t choose their food. They whined. In Egypt they could choose their food but not their occupation. As humans, we thrive on choice. I think this is what makes Paul’s struggle between flesh and spirit so universal. We want to choose.
John 8:21-30

Daniel 3: 14-20, 91-92, 95 (Good luck finding this one, too!)
John 8:31-42

Genesis 17: 3-9
I have often agreed with scholars who say that we should call the parts of the Bible the First Covenant and the Second Covenant, although several versions of covenant fall between Genesis and Revelation. I love it that the beginning of God’s covenant with Abram says: “Walk before me and be blameless.” One of my professors once pointed out that Noah, Job, nor Abram are described as faultless but blameless. Such a slight disntinction of terms makes me think about our Chrisitian walk. We are to be blameless before God as well. We are not called to be faultless. We are called to be holy, perfect, finished. Blameless: “Abram fell facedown.” When was the last time I was so enamored, in awe, overtaken with God’s promises that I fell facedown before [Them]?

John 8:51-59
In this passage, Jesus outs himself as: “I am.” When he is questioned about seeing Abraham, he replies: “I tell you the truth, before Arbaham was born, I am.” This interaction is amazing to me because they question Jesus to the point of revealing his divine purpose, his divine origin. It seems to be one of the few places in which Jesus leaves his Socratic seminar style of preaching. He does not answer their question with questions, but he does answer in a sort of parable. Interesting.

Daniel 13:1-9, 15-17, 19-30, 33-62
Good luck finding this one. I am not sure what it is supposed to be.

John 8: 1-11
It kills me not to know what Jesus wrote on the ground, but maybe that is why I love this story. I will never know. The only people who know are the woman and her accusers. I love the mystery. The glorious mystery. I want to think he wrote: “Grace, grace, grace, grace.” I think it would be wryly humorous, if he started writing the names of all the men gathered around her, who she had slept with. I think it would be even more poignant if he listed all the women her husband had slept with. Okay, maybe not funny or wry, but convicting. It would be interesting, as well, if Jesus wrote all the other sins the men, who were gathered around her, had committed. I think what touches me about this story is that that Jesus stands with the woman in the face of her sin. He joins her in her shame. Think about it. If someone was going to be stoned, would you want to be standing next to her? If people started throwing rocks, don’t you think some would hit you, especially if you were bent over writing in the dirt? This is what I love about Jesus-what I personally love about Jesus. I feel like Jesus would stand next to Brittany Spears and wrap his arm around her and say, you don’t have to do this, I love you. He would have stood next to Matthew Shepherd and said, which of you can cast aspersions, I love him. He would stand next to Saddam Hussein, or Osama Bin Laden, or George W. Bush and say: “Neither do I condemn you, go now and leave your life of sin.” But he would be there in the moment with the person who is being persecuted, he would hold the hand of the downtrodden, he would stand with us in the face of our punishment, he would accept our shame. He stands with me when I fuck it up, ready to be stoned right along with me. That’s what I love about Jesus. I am not shamed or ashamed.

These two passages were from several days ago, but I skipped them, being numerically challenged and all, so here they are.
Hosea 6:1-6
Luke 18:9-14

These are for Sunday, 25 March 2007.

Ezekial 37: 12-14
As I read this, I am convinced that Paul loved Ezekial. God brings us up out of our graves, breathes [Their] spirit into us, and gives us new life. I am reassured by the idea of being brought up from my grave and living a new life. I love my new life. I realize that sometimes I am over self-reflective, and I am sure that I seem miserable. I am not. I am really quite happy in this skin, in this life, in this grace. I do, however, get overwhelmed with the ways in which I squander my grace and really don’t do anything with it compared to the things that Jesus trusted us to do. I mostly just live, I don’t revel and I should. I should walk, no dance, around with my head bowed and my arms raised to the glory of God, but then what would people say about me? Would they know that my grace comes from God? That I have been raised from the dead? Would they: “know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord”?

Romans 8:8-11
Yep, he loves Ezekial. We are only bound by the Spirit. Paul also says that those who are controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God. I wonder, whenever I read this passage, and it seems to be a favorite of devotional writers, why Paul states the obvious. We cannot intentionally choose to do wrong and expect it to turn out as something that God approves of. I think Paul speaks of a more deep-seated problem: our desire to live a life rooted in ignoring God’s desires for our lives. I think essentially, Paul is not writing about a sin, but living in Sin. The big “S.” If our lives are controlled and entrenched in Sin, we cannot see our way out to do what pleases God. We are literally manipulated and controlled by our desire to do whatever the hell we want to do. I think Paul knew what it was like to be trapped there. I think deep down we all do. We have all been in a place where we can’t see God, don’t want to see God, and maybe even hope we don’t happen to bump into God. My Old Testament professor in seminary had a us read Psalm 139 from that frame of mind. Try it. Imagine that David is trying to escape God. “Where can I go from your presence? Where can I flee from your presence?” Maybe David was annoyed that he couldn’t get away not reassured that God was always there for him? We are hemmed in by the Spirit of God, if we seek to walk in the path of righteousness that is a comfort. But if we are trying to escape, if we are controlled by our sinful nature, it sucks to know that everywhere we turn, God is there.

John 11:1-45
I love this passage. I love it for unconventional reasons. I love it because finally Martha is recognized as more than Mary’s jealous sister. Check it out. Martha is the one, who when she hears that Jesus is coming, runs out into the street to greet him. She says to him: “Yes, Lord, I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of the living God, who was to come into the world.” She identifies Jesus as the Christ. Amazing. This woman that we have kept in the kitchen for two thousand years, boldly walks out into the street and proclaims the Messiah. I love this passage for all those women in the church, who have been called Marthas. Sisters, realize that not only was Martha the one who prepared the meal for Jesus, she was also the one who proclaimed his salvific powers. I am not in any way knocking Mary. I love Mary as well. I am sure I would have been more like her. I hate to cook and I am not astute enough to run out into the street to greet my visitors. I barely want to answer the door. I would be much more comfortable sitting around listening to Jesus talk, maybe while Becky did all the work. I would probably notice about half-way through the meal that I needed to help (I’m a little domestically challenged). Mary, after being beckoned by Martha (she must be the more worldly one since she knew Jesus was coming and Mary didn’t) greets Jesus, but she falls at his feet, weeping, moving him to tears. I love this story: Jesus the Messiah moved to tears. I’ve got nothing. Nothing but a weeping Jesus.

I hate to wait. It is not that I am an impatient person. I can sit for hours and look at a painting. I can sit for hours and read a book. I simply hate to wait for the answers to my questions. I hate waiting to hear if I am going to get this job at Hot Topic. I want it. Bad. I want to have fun at work again. I do love the people I work with at Gas City. They are quite pleasant, and generally fun, but I want to be able to be me. I want to wear my nose ring, have a purple mohawk, get a tattooed sleeve, and not have to wear a uniform! Today I am dressed in a pair of khaki pants and a white shirt. It is so me. White is so diminishing, and I love khaki pants! I also love the pain in my ass of removing my nose ring everyday to put in a little clear plastic piece of crap. Does anyone who comes to a coffee house really care if their barista is wearing a nose ring? I wonder if they have to take out their nose rings at the Starbucks in India? What about the Starbucks in the Middle East, do they have to wear black or khaki pants and white or black collared shirts? Leather shoes? Just curious. You would think that because Starbucks was founded by a bunch of pot-smoking hippies, they’d be a bit more liberal! They offer domestic partner insurance (a good thing) for crying out loud, and I can’t wear my nose ring! Okay, I am not sure really where that tirade came from. I must not be very Lent-y today. Either that or I just find it more healthy to rant here than at some random customer.

Yesterday: John 7:1-30

Today: Jeremiah 11: 18-20; John 7:40-53
Jeremiah, more than any other prophet, intimately shows me that trying to live my life the right way is not going to be easy. That I will not always be lauded for doing good. And that I will fuck it up again and again. There is an Indigo Girls song that says: “Me and Jesus, we’re of the same heart, the only difference is that I keep fucking up.” I think Jeremiah might like that song, so might David and Bathsheba, limitless other biblical personalities, and probably a few “good” people in general. I definitely do. However, in this instance, Jeremiah is being persecuted for doing what he was supposed to do. He writes: “for to you I have committed my cause.” He is wholly committed to letting God take care of him. Amazing considering all that he has been through. Will I ever be wholly committed to letting God fight my battles? Probably not, because I still get irritated when people don’t hand me their money and put it on the counter instead. I feel like they think I am not good enough to touch when placing the money in my hand. I need to learn a lot. I realize more painfully everyday that I am filled with pride. I will fall. I know it.

It is interesting to me to think about Jesus’ trial. The trial that he goes through here in John is shady. He isn’t tried before a court of law, and apparently he isn’t really even tried at all. The people who are standing around gossiping about him just assume he is guilty. I love it, they stand around talking about each other just like we do. Solomon was right, there is nothing new under the sun. Nicodemus asks: “Does our law condemn anyone without first hearing what he is doing?” I think perhaps we should ask that question of our own laws. Do we listen to what people are doing before we convict them. I am thinking of the way we jump on political band wagons without even thinking rationally about what they stand for. Did I, on September 11, assume along with the rest of the nation that the Middle East was responsible fo the bombing? Probably, but only for a brief second. For one shining moment I wasn’t sucked into the political abyss. I remember saying in class that day, and receiving some very horrible looks and some nasty emails later, “Remember Oklahoma City. We blamed the middle east, and it ended up being our own citizens.” Now I know also that our own citizens who bombed Oklahoma City, were trained to kill by our own military for the first Gulf Fiasco. So this passage caused me to stop and wonder about myself: “Do I first listen to what people are doing before I condemn them?” In essence do I give people a chance, do I listen to who they are, do I see the value in them that God sees in me, before I dismiss them? Not usually. Do I love my enemies? Do I create enemies? Do I allow enemies to be created for me? It is easy to love people who love me, but do I love the business man who drives a compensation vehicle and orders a compensation latte? Can I honestly find it within myself to first hear what he is doing? Who he really is? Do I look past his seemingly hollow shell to see the man inside? I need to start looking into people instead of through them.