Family Dinner and Santa Claus

This morning I had the distinct privilege of visiting Santa with my lovely god-daughter, Izzy. This year she was so good and brave, walking right up to Santa and letting him lift her up onto his lap. Well, she was brave until it came time to smile for her picture. She looks nervous. In fact, she looks like she might just think that Santa thing is a little felt-up. But, like the big girl she was pretending to be—or the big girl she is becoming though none of us want to admit it—she told Santa she wants an Elmo for Christmas, explained that she was two years old, took the tiny candy cane in her cold little hand and even remembered to say thank you before running back to her mom’s arms. The whole thing was magical.

Riding the train only added to her excitement. When she got on the train, all of us thought she would get halfway around the little track and then start to cry, but she rode the thing around all five times and even laughed and waved at us. She even smiled at a little boy who was waiting to ride. It is amazing to me how quickly these little guys grow up. Last year, she didn’t even want to sit on Santa’s lap and this year at two and a half she talked to him. Without crying. And riding the train by herself. Wow.

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Tonight we had a family dinner, or a sort of family dinner. It was my dad, mom, Bec, Bart, Laura, Zoe, and I. I swear that no matter what my cousin Bart ever does, there is nothing he will do to make me love him any less. There is just something about him that deep down is amazing. I am not saying that he doesn’t have the potential to annoy the piss out of someone, but you can’t help but love the guy. I would not say that about all of my cousins; though as cousins go, I am pretty blessed. Anyway, we also ate some of Mom and Dad’s top tier of their wedding anniversary cake, which was still delicious and beautiful.

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I am thankful for rehabilitation in whatever form it takes and no matter how slowly it progresses.

Exercise: walked the dogs .5 miles

Food: I ate everything in sight. Seriously. My belly hurts, and I had horrible hiccups.  banana, mint M&Ms, cheese enchilada, potato enchilada, chili relleno, rice, chips and salsa, seven layer salad minus bacon, baked potato, veggies, a piece of cake, bread

A Weekend Full of Grading

This weekend is ridiculous. Here are the things I am doing in no particular order.

  • Grade Burris presentations.
  • Grade BSU presentations.
  • Bake cookies.
  • Go to parents for dinner.
  • Write Burris final.
  • Work on dissertation proposal.
  • Go grocery shopping.
  • Visit Santa with Iz.

I had to purchase a new phone today. Yippee. My old one finally took a shit on me after six years. It really isn’t his fault that his battery is faltering. At least he was a worthy compatriot for that long. I ordered an LG enV Touch. Whatever that means. Here’s a review. And a photo.I hope I don’t lose this one the day after I get it, like I did the last one. Augh.

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I am thankful for delicious stir fry, Mint M&Ms, and Christmas Nougats.

Exercise: walked the dogs 2 miles, walked from Burris to RB

Food: banana, blueberry scone, decaf white mocha, Clif bar, two clementines, cream soda, stir fry with whole wheat pasta, Christmas Nougats, mint M&Ms

Nothing Much But Food and Exercise

I am thankful for true friends.

Food: clementine, oatmeal, some dill chips, veggie wrap with steamed vegetables, four mini snickers, squash, salad with honey mustard and sunflower seeds, two celery stalks and a carrot

Exercise: walked dogs two miles, ran two miles, walked from Burris to Lafollette

Two Days and No Post. What?

Well, I’ve been lazy.

Bec’s mom asked me to define grace. Here is what I wrote back to her:

I think there is the theological concept of grace, which is sort of wrapped up with mercy, being the divine act of not giving someone what they deserve in payment for a sin they have committed, but I don’t really like to think of grace that way too much because it seems, then, like something you Lord over someone. It seems to cheapen it because you could then say, “Remember that time when I let whatever transgression you committed go?” I think real grace, Biblical or otherwise is so much more than that. Possibly the best way for me to describe the way I think of grace is that it is the anitthesis of shame. Too many of us live in shame all the time for whatever reason.

I was talking with one of my favorite professors the other day and we were talking about this idea in regards to people who had been abused (mentally, physically, sexually, etc.), women who have had abortions, etc. and the way people carry their shame—shame we bring on ourselves, shame we dole out to each other, shame that is part of societal structure, shame that is preached from pulpits, delivered from political lecterns, and spoon fed to school children by their teachers. It seems that shame helps keep people in their hierarchical places. Those of us who can usurp shame with grace break free from those cultural bindings. Grace turns shame upside down. I don’t want this to seem like I don’t think there are consequences for actions. There are. But consequences are one thing and life-long shame is another.

An act of grace could include the simplest thing like taking in your neighbor’s garbage can, talking kindly to a sales clerk, looking people in the eye and saying hello, not throwing a fit at the barista who screws up your coffee AGAIN!, caring about someone who is difficult to care about, or offering your expertise or time to someone else for no good reason. I do think the theological idea figures in to all of this because when we are doing these acts, which are also kindnesses, we are in effect heaping love and mercy onto another person.

Our world would be much better off if we practices “charis” or “hesed” every day as much as possible. “Charis,” the Greek that is usually translated as grace really means goodness, kindness, beauty, or even human creativity, and “hesed,” the Hebrew equivalent, is usually translated as compassion or loving-kindness. Both Biblical terms are used in situations where God empowers the act of grace in the person who is enacting it, or it is an act that God performs toward humans.

I would by no means limit grace to a Christian concept, though; the ideas of grace and compassion abound in almost all religious writings I have read. I think if there is one theological idea that is nearly universal, even among those with no theological ascription, the idea of grace is it. I mean, it seems to be an idea even my atheist friends can get behind.

Also, the great interest in grace is upsurging because I have been trying to write a creative nonfiction piece for about three years that has grace as its main theme. I’m collecting stories of grace form people and I have some pretty good ones to work in.

And, a large portion of my dissertation deals with grace and shame and the way Black women writers use preaching/healing figures with various forms of authority (juridical, ancestral, Biblical, and hybrid) in order to bring grace instead of shame to the Black female body.

Also, I try really hard to live this way, and I am trying to become more conscientious of it as I work with more and more students. If I believe something, I think I should behave in that manner. Obviously, it doesn’t work every day, but I think I am getting better at it.

So, there you have it: my thoughts on grace. I need to work on this essay over break, but I also HAVE to get my dissertation proposal finished.

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This is for two days, the best I can remember:

I am thankful for people who challenge me to think about things in new ways.

Exercise: walked the dogs, ran 3 miles, walked from Burris to RB, etc.

Food: bananas, juices, cheese sandwich, too much pizza, salad, apples, clementines, cheese, pretzels, milk

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad…

You take ’em both and there you have the facts of life. Today has been the epitome of doing just that—taking the good and the bad and figuring out the facts of life. I feel like I was handed huge handfuls of bothand then asked to figure out how to blow my nose or open a door using the door knob. I couldn’t hold all the goodness, keep all the badness, and complete a simple task. So I let the badness go. For a change, I flushed it away without worrying about it. I am just left here holding onto all the goodness and reveling in it like there is no tomorrow!

I received this prayer in my inbox today, courtesy of Sojourners, and it really impacted me. I am going to print it off and put it in places where I look frequently, like mirrors, doors, and inside books, so I can learn from its depth and humility. I think it makes me contemplate new ideas and to ponder God in new ways.

God, I abandon myself into your hands. Do with me whatever you will. Whatever you may do, I thank you. I am ready for all, I accept all. Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures. Into your hands I commend my spirit. I offer it to you with all the love that is in my heart. For I love you, Lord, and so want to give myself, to surrender myself into your hands, without reserve and with boundless confidence. Amen. —Charles de Foucauld

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I am thankful for friends who are merciful to those who anger them.

Exercise: walked the dogs two miles

Food: banana, juice, chocolate milk, chili, cheese sandwich, Papa Johns, Christmas nougats, blackberries, some mint M&Ms, Orange Crush (Forgive me. It was delicious. So sweet and so cold.)