but I decided instead to write about my week this week. It was an excellent one. Last Sunday, I started taking my niacin/vitamin C again, and I can tell that it makes a huge difference. I haven’t thought once this week about killing myself or someone else. And the way things were going that is a huge step in the right direction.
I’ve also decided to try to remember that people can do whatever they want, but it only affects me if I let it, and usually people’s weird reactions and mean actions have little to nothing to do with me, but with their own state of mind and the other things happening in their lives. I’ve also thought quite a bit about passive aggressive behaviors and how there is no way to control the way other people act and react, and I can say, for this week at least, it worked to view my interactions with others in this manner. If I don’t let the mean things other people say and do interrupt what I am doing, they can’t get to me and make me feel bad about myself. I like that. There’s a saying, which can’t really be attributed to one source because so many famous people have shared the sentiment, that holds quite a bit of wisdom in this regard. It goes like this: “It’s not what happens to you that matters, but what matters is how you react to it.” I am learning new ways to react, particularly when it comes to people whose actions are abusive or detrimental to my character.
Running has been really good this week. On one of my runs, I somehow managed to run a ten-minute mile after running weeks and weeks of 13- to 14- minute miles. And, today I ran 5 miles at the Mounds on some hilly, rocky, uneven terrain at about a 14-minute mile pace. I wore my nice VFF Trek Sports that have the little, baby lugs for trail running, and they have a bit thicker sole than the classics. These have become my go to shoes for anything that isn’t on the sidewalk or street. My classics serve me well when the pavement is too rough or when the weather is too cold. I have a pair of Flows, too, but I really don’t like them very well at all. They are stiff and my feet get sweaty hot in them, which I assume will be a huge plus when the snow falls and the ice comes. For right now, though, the weather is still good enough that they are bit overkill. I wear them to school sometimes, and my students call them my dress shoes!
Not finishing the marathon has somehow lit a fire under my behind to make it impossible for myself to fail in the spring when I sign up for the next go at it. I am thinking of running an early spring marathon before the pollen starts up. It’ll be challenging to strike the delicate balance between cold air and pollen, both of which are not so great for my lungs. At any rate, I am feeling pretty good about my running life. I’m trying to lose some weight before then, too, but I am not sure how well that will go. I seem to have difficulty ever losing weight, and I just get discouraged if that’s my focus. I have to remember that running and feeling fit are my first priorities. Losing weight is like third or fourth fiddle to all the other things I do for my body.
To that end, the weight loss, I’ve decided to start eating milk products again. Despite how morally reprehensible the whole dairy industry is, I think I need the extra protein that low-fat milk and low-fat cheeses provide me. I am trying not to add back in too many animal products, but only those which I feel my body needs to maintain the weekly mileage I am trying to achieve; I’d like to be at a maintenance level of 17 to 30 miles each week by Christmas, running 3 to 5 miles on weekdays and 5 to 10 miles on weekends. That’s definitely doable, and it will make running a marathon seem like something more attainable without making the training seem like a drudgery. Don’t get me wrong, I love running, but the training (especially the 50-mile week) was a bit challenging to complete during school.
Also, it’s my goal to run at least one race each month this year. I am starting with the Leftover Turkey Trail Run on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, then running the Santa Hustle on December 17 and the Rudolph Run on Christmas Eve. Now I have to find a good race for January. 🙂