Category Archives: Goals

Looking Back and Looking Forward

Posted on 31 December 2022 | 1 comment

The past year has been pretty hard, and I am counting maybe the past two years in this, because they kind of blend together. Maybe, I am even counting everything from March of 2020 as a year, because it has felt like one long, hard season where I have dragged myself from one thing to the next, like everyone else has too. Maybe that’s what pandemics do to people, make us not be able to sense time, because events just slide painfully from one into the other.

Even if something amazing happened in the past three years, for me, those beautiful things have been hidden by the drudgery of every day life, or by the bigger more prevalent things that have just been pain and suffering. But still I am grateful. Because all of these experiences make up who I am today.

Through all of the difficulties since 2020, I have learned a lot about who I am and who I want to be.

And, I have learned a lot about who I am, and who I don’t want to be.

Who I want to be moving into the second half of my life is a kinder person, a more easy going person, a person who I would want to be around. Since I live by myself, I get to spend a lot of time with myself, and sometimes I think that I would not want to spend much time with myself if I didn’t have to because I live within my body and I can’t avoid it. I have some goals for this year, which I have already enumerated, but I also have a guiding question for me for this year: would I want to be friends with me?

I don’t want to be the type of person who I would answer no to that question. I don’t want to spend the second half of my life being afraid that I won’t succeed, being paralyzed by the caparison game, worrying about whether or not I have what everyone else has or can do what everyone else can do, or trying to please people who will never be pleased no matter what I do. I’ve said it here before that I just want to live a life that makes me proud of who I am and what I can uniquely offer to this world.

I want to make choices that benefit as many people as possible. I want to see the good in the people around me. I want to trust people, even when they disappoint me. I want to jump in to help. I want to see the light where there isn’t much light. I want to be a hope bringer.

So, here’s to living love, peace, joy, and here’s to trying to bring light into this dark, dark world.

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Posted in Goals, Joy

46 Years and 48 Days

Posted on 8 September 2020 | Leave a comment

In July, I wrapped up my 46th revolution around the sun and began my 47th. The first 48 days of this revolution have been some of my best days as an adult, even though the last time I wrote about how hot it was in my van with my dog.

The week after my birthday was spent in leisure on our Washington Island property. I spent the days with my wife reading, lying in the hammock or sitting around the fire, cooking food outdoors, eating delicious carry out, drinking coffee, walking to the lake and wading in the water, and being with each other.

During that week and for the past month and a half, I was able to contemplate a few things in my life. I want this year to be governed by three things—to filter every decision through them, like guiding principles—and I am trying to say yes to things that bring me joy,

The first guiding principle is this meditation, which I read in a book, but I don’t remember which one: “What did you do today to make this world a better place? What difference did you make in someone’s life today? How did you let someone make a difference in your life today?” When I end my days in this manner, I get the opportunity to reflect and think about how I am reacting and responding to the events in my life. Sometimes I love what I see. Other times I don’t love what I see. But either way, I have thought deeply about how my day went.

The second guiding principle is a quote from Brother David Vryhof, who is a monastic at the Society of Saint John the Evangelist: “Complaining, or murmuring, as St. Benedict calls it, can have a toxic effect on human communities. Suppose you gave up complaining. Suppose you made it your practice to express what you desire and to work constructively toward achieving it, rather than complaining about the things you don’t like. Could becoming “murmur-free” make a difference in your quality of life and in the quality of life of those around you?” Not complaining about things is challenging, but when I can adhere to the spirit of this quote, my life feels more peaceful and more loving.

Lastly, this poem by Mary Anne Perrone sums up a lot of what I am feeling these days:

Life at Midlife

I am no longer waiting for a special occasion; I burn the best candles on ordinary days.
I am no longer waiting for the house to be clean; I fill it with people who understand that even dust is Sacred.
I am no longer waiting for everyone to understand me; It’s just not their task
I am no longer waiting for the perfect children; my children have their own names that burn as brightly as any star.
I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop; It already did, and I survived.
I am no longer waiting for the time to be right; the time is always now.
I am no longer waiting for the mate who will complete me; I am grateful to be so warmly, tenderly held.
I am no longer waiting for a quiet moment; my heart can be stilled whenever it is called.
I am no longer waiting for the world to be at peace; I unclench my grasp and breathe peace in and out.
I am no longer waiting to do something great; being awake to carry my grain of sand is enough.
I am no longer waiting to be recognized; I know that I dance in a holy circle.
I am no longer waiting for Forgiveness.
I believe, I Believe.

In addition to living by these principles, I have begun accomplishing some tangible goals. I started reading a few chapters of the Bible each day. I am attempting to read a leisure book each month. I’m running every day, which is always something that makes my life better. And, I am fully embracing veganism for all of the reasons!

These guiding principles, living into my goals, and a job that makes me feel alive again are making these days beautiful.

They aren’t easy, but they are beautiful.

December 1, 2019: First Sunday of Advent

Posted on 1 December 2019 | 2 comments

Here are my Goals for 2020. You’ll notice they look surprisingly similar to the ones for 2019, partially because I did not reach all of my goals for 2019, because I’ve finally reached a balance between challenging and attainable, so I think I’ll just roll with that for another year.

1. Swim, bike, walk, or run every single day. Finish the Indy Mini on May 2, 2020
2. Read at least one book each month. Write at least a little every Sunday.
3. Meditate for 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening.
4. Practice silence and work on listening, with intention.
5. Eat mostly real plant-based food. Consume campassionately.
6. Create more, conserve more, buy less.

Live joyfully and feed my soul.

Swim, Bike, Walk or Run Every Day

My brother and I signed up to do the Indy Mini this year, and we signed up for the shorter races leading up to it, so we’d know for sure that we can finish the 13.1 miles on Indy Mini Race Day. If you don’t know what the Indy Mini is, it is a half marathon that is part of the Indy 500 Festival, and you can learn more about it here. The commitment to do 13.1 in May, jumpstarted my already running self into a Holiday Run Streak that goes from today, the first Sunday of Advent until January 6, or Epiphany.

That’s 37 days of running at least one mile each day, and I started this morning by running around my friends’ neighborhood, which I have to say is quite a nice little spot to live. What will be fun and challenging about this Run Streak is that my 20-week training plan for the Indy Mini starts on December 16, so there will no doubt be some sore legs and a lot of walking/running intervals, until I get my running legs back under me.

My goals are simply to finish without being scooped up by the sweeper bus, to spend as much time with my brother as I can before I go back to Minnesota in June, and to have the most fun I have ever had running that far!

Reading (and Writing)

So far this year, I have read 6 books—probably more, but I did not write them down in my logs, so I guess in my mind they don’t count—so this is a goal that needs some attention next year. Considering that if I put my mind to it, I can read most books in less than a day, this seems like a really low number for a goal, but with teaching and trying to balance my life, I guess I just do not read as much as I used to. I am absolutely open to suggestions for reading.

I should probably make my goal for this coming year a writing one, since I feel like I miss it so much, but I have not done it for so long, that it feels weird even writing this. I guess practice makes me better, so maybe I should commit to writing here every Sunday. From January 5, 2020 – December 27, 2020.

Meditation: Silence and Listening

This goal, which is really two combined, is one that needs quite a bit of attention. Basically, I just need to do it. I need this goal more than any other one, and yet it is the one that gets neglected the quickest.

Eat Vegan Whole Foods

I am proud to say that this goal is going along perfectly. Since October 4, 2019, I haven’t eaten any meat, and I have been working my way into being completely plant-based by December 31. Since I live with my brother, we’re doing this one together (along with eating a lot less sugar), and we’ve already seen some excellent health benefits from it.

One of my favorite meals is pizza, and I always get sad thinking that I will miss pizza when I am vegan. Luckily I found an excellent vegan pizza crust mix, for when I don’t make my own from scratch, and I am enjoying using fresh vegetables and cheese replacements to make big, delicious homemade pizzas that are way better tasting, and way better for me, than store-bought pizza!

Last night I had one of the most beautiful pizzas I have made: big brown mushrooms, little rings of yellow, red, and orange peppers, bright green spinach, and giant tomato chunks with just a bit of Daiya cheddar shreds. Not only was it beautiful, but without all of the cheese, the delicious flavor of all of the vegetables came through.

Create More, Conserve More, Buy Less

I am really getting into being conservative with my spending, which is saying a lot if you know me and know how I love to spend money, because what is it but green pieces of paper. Anyway, I have kept my spending for gas (we have a 2 hour total commute each day), groceries, and entertainment to less than what I budgeted for three months in a row!

I am trying to purchase things that are necessary (do I really need that item?), that nothing I already have will serve the same function (will the things I already have work to do that job?), that I can’t do on my own (sorry Starbucks, but I brew my coffee in my classroom now), and that really bring me some kind of joy in my life (do I need another mug because it has a funny saying on it?). I’ve also gotten into fixing things, instead of just buying new.

My ultimate goal: Live JOYFULLY and feed my SOUL.

This is my ultimate goal, because I know that if I am not searching for joy and nourishment in my life, I am not happy, nor can I help anyone else seek for joy or nourishment. Now, I will be really honest, because of the way I am wired, seeking joy is really difficult for me. I am much the realist, and never really an optimist, but I know that joy and gratitude are the keys to living a long and memorable life, so I keep trying to regroup and see if I can help others.

My brother helps with this: he always sees the good side of things, and he always gives people the benefit of the doubt. I want to be more like him, and I try, but it is really hard to always assume positive intent, think things will turn out okay, to understand that everything happens for a reason, and to make the best of every situation. I will get there, though.

They say if you keep reframing events in the ways in which you can be grateful for them, that you’ll eventually do it automatically. I do not know who they are, but they have to be right, right?

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Posted in Advent, Buddhism, Capitalism, Christianity, Christmas, Coffee, Diet, Eating, Fitness, Food, Gleaning, Goals, Grace, Health, Joy, Meditation, Mental Health, New Year, Running, School, Spirituality, Sunday, Swimming, Teacher, Teaching, Trail Running, Vegan, Walking, Wellness, Workout, Writer, Writing

Tagged Advent, Goals, half marathon, holiday run streak, pizza, plant-based, Vegan

Goals 2019 (REDO, as usual)

Posted on 17 May 2019 | Leave a comment

My original goals are listed in the previous post, but my intentions have shifted again this year. I was going strong with the previous goals until Spring Break, when I had to drive to a cabin in Colorado and needed my phone for directions. If I had ridden there with the rest of my family, I wouldn’t have needed the iPhone Map app, but I can’t drive in the mountains, read directions, and read a map when I am the solo occupant of my vehicle.

I decided that I would reactivate my smart phone to have a navigation system, and then I decided that it too much of a hassle to switch phones again. I also have a rekindled desire to create the Plastic Toothpick Podcast that I was going to make during the school year this year, back when I had high hopes of taking master’s education classes and starting a podcast, before I knew that my particular students would take every fiber of my being, every single day.

In order to start a podcast, I have to some means of sharing that podcast, so along with reactivating my iPhone, I am also back on social media. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. As soon as I finish my first podcast, I’ll post here about it, but it will likely be some time in June.

Since I had to renege on my old goals, I figured I’d finish out the year with these:

Swim, bike, walk, or run every single day. Run Twin Cities Marathon in October.
Read at least one book each month.
Meditate for 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening.
Practice silence and listening, with intention.
Eat mostly real food.
Create more, consume less.

I’d also like to make a new goal of actually writing in this space more frequently than once every several months, because my writing chops need a brush up. At any rate keep watching this space for more to come.

When I last wrote, I was in the middle of the Whole 30, and I was incredibly positive about it. I am still very pleased with my experience in those 30 days, because I lost 17 pounds, which I have kept off for three months now. Don’t get me wrong; I am not a person who is obsessed with losing weight at this point in my life. I have been that person before, because I didn’t see any worth in myself in the body I am in. I am more interested, at this point in my life, in treating my body like a beautiful machine that carries my soul across the finish line.

My body positivity that I am experiencing at nearly 45 years of age has been a long time coming. I credit much of my newfound joy in my own skin to several podcasts that I listen to and to several athletes who don’t let their larger bodies hold them back. Sometimes in my life—like when I started running almost 12 years ago—I have felt like I was the only fat person trying to be an athlete, and that can really wear on a person. But thanks to Mirna Valerio, Martinus Evans, and Latoya Shauntay Snell, I have a renewed joy in and love for my own body. I promise that anytime you feel overwhelmed or like you don’t belong running with thinner people on the trail, track, or road, these folks will absolutely rekindled your confidence.

I’m ready to run.

Goals, Polar Plunge, and Whole30

Posted on 1 February 2019 | Leave a comment

My goals for 2019:

No social media, except this blog. No smart devices.
Swim, walk, or run every single day, except Sunday. Hopefully run a 50K in October.
Read at least one book each month.
Meditate for 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening.
Practice silence and listening, with intention.
Eat mostly real food and fewer carbs, specifically sugar.

I am being moderately successful at most of my goals, though meditation and reading could use a little boost, and I recently returned to Facebook for a hot minute to beg for money for the Polar Plunge. I am enjoying Flippy, the Flip Phone, because I can’t check my email or look things up on the Internet at a moment’s notice, and it’s a real pleasure being free of that encumbrance. I do miss listening to podcasts and having a GPS with me at all times, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

This will be my fifth year doing the Polar Plunge, I believe, and I’ve never had as much of a problem raising money as I am this year. I am sitting right under $500 with three weeks left, and I’d like to raise $1000. I raised close to $1200 last year, so I think I maybe pissed some people off, people don’t have as much money, or not being on social media has been detrimental to my success. Oh, well. I guess $500 is better than nothing. If you want to donate, you can do that by clicking here.

My brother and I are over halfway through our late-start January Whole30, and I can say it feels like a success. Most of my aches are gone, my skin feels less dry, and I feel less bloated and like I’ve lost a bit of weight. I do think I have a bit of a problem with dairy and my joints, because with Whole30 or being vegan, either way, my joints are not as achy and I feel less inflamed.

What I love about being on Whole30 is that I am forced to think outside my go to junk food favorite, pizza, and look toward more interesting food, like the butternut, chicken, apple, hash I made for breakfast yesterday morning, or the eggs in hell that Adam made for breakfast the day before. We haven’t had school for three days because of the weather, so we’ve gotten some really good food and cooking time in this week. More importantly, I’ve gotten to drink amazing Blue Mind Roasting coffee that I made at home with the pour-over method, instead of Starbucks each morning.

Once we complete this Whole30, I am going to remain mostly paleo with Saturdays being a “free day,” where I can eat some of the things I don’t eat the rest of the week. I feel well enough, though, that I’d like to keep inflammatory foods, like dairy and grains, to a minimum. I am not sure where things like beans and corn will fall, but I am not opposed to trying to add them back in occasionally.

Last time I did a Whole30, I tried to keep carbs to a minimum and I got super sore when I tried to do any kind of exercise. This time, I have eaten more potatoes and sweet potatoes, so my body feels a bit better and more energetic. Since I’ve been swimming in the morning and in the afternoon and adding in some extra walking here and there without a considerable amount of soreness, I feel like I can start boosting up my exercise.

This morning I did my first body weight exercise training in a long time, like probably since September. Seriously, I could only do one round of 20 squats, 10 push ups, 20 lunges (10 on each side), 20 dumbbell rows (10 on each side), 15 second plank, and 30 jumping jacks. Pathetic, but it’s a start.

My ultimate goal, as it has been in the past and will be until I drag myself across that finish line, is an Ironman. I’m shooting for Maryland in September of 2020 (607 days, 87 weeks, 19 months), if I can keep myself motivated until then. I figure, I am a cancer, the logo is a crab, so it’s meant to be, right?