Category Archives: Literature

Getting My Poop in a Pile, So to Speak

I have spent the better portion of today in the bowels of Bracken Library, sorting out syllabi and preparing for the first week of my newest endeavor. I am really excited about my children’s literature classes, and I hope my students will love the class as much as I have loved putting it together. My hopes are that we will all benefit from our journey together and that we will all come out on the other side with a greater appreciation of literature and of each other. It seems like the class is going to be quite a bit of work for both my students and myself, and the key will be not to get behind.

The new scheduling device on my cell phone will help with time management because I have scheduled everything in and given alarms to each activity. At the very least, I will feel guilty for not doing what I am supposed to do at the right times, and I shouldn’t miss appointments like I did last semester. We’ll see how it goes. My office mate says my cell phone is fascist. I tend to agree. I may not listen to the alarms just to spite it, to stick it to the Verizon Wireless Man. I still call Deer Creek by its proper name for the same reason, sticking it to the man.

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I just signed up for a life-guarding class in March. I am more nervous about it than I ever am about teaching. I haven’t done any of those skills since 1999 or 2000. Wow. I haven’t used my life-guarding skills for ten years. I just made myself feel old, as in the age of rocks or dirt or air. Signing up for a class in which I have to wear a bathing suit and be groped by other people is a bit daunting as well. I am always embarrassed of my size. In my head, I know I can run farther than some of the people who will be in the class, and I can certainly swim farther than many of them. But, there is this element of fear at being stared at, picked last, shunned as a partner because of my pudge. Trust me, life-guarding class is always weird and there are bound to be several skinny, little bitches who only want to get good tans and sit in a chair in a bathing suit all summer long.

During the class, I will be in the middle of training for the Indy Mini, too, which means I will have to rearrange my running schedule to accommodate the weird-ass hours of the class. We meet on March 19-21 and 26-28 (Fridays, 6-10PM; Saturdays and Sundays 8AM-2PM). Swimmers are such freaks. I am hoping that by this time next school year, I will be fast enough at swimming to join the Master’s Swim Club at BSU, but I need to shed a few pounds (30-50 is my goal) before that happens. Although, I am unsure if I can stand the rigorousness of their practice and meet schedules. Maybe the swimming and running can help me accomplish doing it, but we will see. I suppose I should actually try eating healthy, too.

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Last night Bec and I tried to go to Puerto Vallarta for dinner, but there were no parking spaces, so we drove over to Victor’s Gyros, Pancakes, and Ribs. Yes, you read that properly: Gyros, Pancakes, and Ribs. An odd combination, I thought to myself. We started with the combination platter for an appetizer—mushrooms, onion rings, and cheese sticks (all fried and oh, so healthy)—and I had chocolate chip pancakes while Bec chose the gyros, as I knew she would. Bec enjoyed her gyros platter, which came with an insane amount of food: gyros meat, a pita, feta, onions, tomatoes, rice, vegetables, french fries, and tzaziki sauce. My chocolate chip pancakes came with chocolate chip pancakes. They were sprinkled with powdered sugar, but I was fine with that because they were pretty doggone tasty.

I enjoyed the place more for the atmosphere than the food. It has a greasy spoon sort of diner-y feel, with waitresses who argue over tips and a hostess—maybe owner-ish sort of person, but at the very least super tight with Victor—who constantly told the wait staff to be quiet and to wash and sanitize their hands several times throughout our meal. One waitress protested that she had just washed hers, so blondy, the hostess, said, “Go, do it again,” as she flitted her hands in front of herself like distasteful birds. If I worked there, I would kick her in the trachea.

As a customer, though, you have to love a place that will work a high school student, our waitress, for more than nine hours without a break, simply because she doesn’t smoke. And who wouldn’t want to go to a diner where more than once you could hear one of the seedy attitudinal waitresses say, “I swear on my three kids ….” You can fill in the blank with whatever you think she might have been swearing about. Once it was her credit card tips. I felt right at home, honestly. It reminded me a great deal of working at Pizza King and to a lesser degree, Starbucks. On some levels, it even reminded me of the English department as each waitress jostled for favor with the man I assume was Victor.

I will go there occasionally to write. simply because of the entertainment value.

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I am thankful for seedy, greasy spoon diners and for the people who work in them.

Exercise: walked the dogs

Food: banana, orange juice, chocolate milk, Pure bar, salad, Feng Shui rice chips, sloppy-jane (veggie sloppy-joe), spinach, chocolate milk, oat muffin

Reading. Grocery Shopping. Wild Rice Soup.

One of the best books written, Mama Day by Gloria Naylor, was my occupation and my joy for the majority of the day today. I love the way Naylor uses the voices of her characters to tell a complex tale of spirituality and healing, the way she skilfully rends together the tale from Ophelia’s perspective and George’s perspective with the bits told by the omniscient narrator. I think if any writer writes a tale from back to front better than Toni Morrison, it is Naylor. The only way to describe this book is by talking about its beauty and elegance.

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This morning when we went grocery shopping, we had two interesting encounters with strangers. Both were grace filled moments in which we were able to stand in the store and have great conversation with people we didn’t know. It always amazes me that among the chaos of the holiday season and the ridiculous frenzy of the shopping madness that some people become completely intolerant and mean while others become so kind and gracious.

*On a side note I just saw an American Airlines commercial where the attendees of a seminar had to stand face to face because “there is no personal space here. We are all molecules of one large organism.” I don’t rightly think so. Just because I am in favor of kindness and grace, does not mean that I am in favor of being comfy-close with someone else. Ick.*

One of the sweet encounters we had was with a cashier at Meijer, who had just started her shift, but she got to go on her first fifteen minute break after she waited on us. Sometimes when people who work in service jobs find out that they get their breaks, they rush you through in order to get off their feet. I don’t blame them; I’ve worked in the service sector, too. This cashier, whose name I read over and over again so I could remember it, but I didn’t, took her time with us, made small talk, even took two other customers after us because they had been standing in her line. She was friendly, smiled, and told us to have a great day and happy holidays. I think this is going of the way to give grace and make people feel special or human. I like this touch.

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Bec made delicious wild rice soup tonight. She added fresh mushrooms to make it a little more hearty. We haven’t had it for a long time, so it was a welcome dinner. It is rich and thick and a perfect warm up before we go out to walk the dogs. I love a rich stew-like soup!

The Iron Chef secret ingredient is eggnog tonight. I think Bobby Flay got his chef’s hat handed to him by Morimoto. I love it when that happens.

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I am thankful for small but meaningful interactions with people we didn’t previously know.

Exercise: walked dogs 2 miles

Food: banana, hot chocolate, cheese ball, pretzels, celery, swiss cheese, rice soup, almonds, two clementines, Klondike bar

Wow. Strange Days.

I love The Doors’ song “Strange Days,” and I think applies to this weeks reflections from my Burris students: “Strange days have found us. Strange days have tracked us down. They’re going to destroy us, our casual joys. We shall go on playing or find a new town.” I don’t expect my students to love everything I love, but I find it hard to believe the fact that the Beat poets aren’t at least liked by some of them. Maybe it is because I wanted to spend an entire week on them, but since we missed two days, which we still have to make up, for the swine flu, we only got to talk about them for two days. I despise teaching all of American Literature in one semester. I think it short changes the students. However, I am still amazed that the Beat poets aren’t some of their favorites. To each his or her own, though. I still love my Burris kids. They rock.

When I was in high school, I absolutely loved the Beat poets. I remember thinking they were my saving grace because they talked so much about how corrupt our culture was/is and how we needed to majorly overhaul it if we were going to survive. I loved the apocalyptic nature of their writings and how they sought to confuse the boundaries between the sacred and the secular. I mean, how genius is it to resurrect a dead poet, Walt Whitman, and then talk about how the speaker follows him through grocery store while he is eying the grocery boys, stealing food, and avoiding the store security? It’s fucking brilliant.

Maybe this is a sign of a generational shift. Or maybe I am simply abnormal, which is probably more likely. I can remember Jaymes and I being (or fantasizing about being) so counter-cultural. We read Kerouac and ate him up with a spoon. We started an underground newspaper to rage against the machine before the band was even popular. I just think I should have been born in the late 40s so I could be a hippie. My blood runs pinko and sentiments do too. Either way, at least my students have been exposed to a group of writers whose influence is still felt in many ways.

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I am thankful for the ability to agree to disagree with people. And, I am thankful there are multiple churches that reach multiple audiences.

Exercise: none, absolutely none, I read all day

Food: banana, juice, strawberry Belgian waffle, nachos at La Palma, black bean burger and veggies at Chili’s, chips and salsa

Healing. Grading. Too Many Sweets, Not Enough Exercise.

I am enjoying Gayl Jones’ The Healing and looking forward to meeting with Debbie to talk about my dissertation. I think I like and dislike The Healing for the same reason: the stream of consciousness is both beautiful and unnerving. I am tired of the repetition, but I am drawn in by it. Of course, I am only on page 16, so I will let you know tomorrow night how the book plays out. I can already tell, though, that it will fit well, at least for background or supplementary material, for my dissertation. There is a whirlwind of religion, spirituality, healing, redemption, slavery, and sexuality all swirling around together. I am excited to see how it plays out.

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I still have a few papers to grade, ones that were turned in late. For the most part, I am pleased with their argument papers, and I look forward to seeing their multimodal presentations. Some papers need a bit of work, but that is what revision is for. In fact, that is why I switched to using portfolios. I wanted my students to recognize that their “final” draft isn’t really final, that writing can always be revised, improved upon, moved closer to perfection.

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I feel like a slug. I have eaten too many sweets in the past couple of days and not done any substantial exercise. I was supposed to run five miles on Saturday, but I graded papers instead. I was supposed to run the same five miles on Sunday, but I graded instead. And, I have been grading both mornings this week instead of running. Basically, I feel horrible because I have eaten way too much crap and not done one little bit of exercise to offset it. Tomorrow morning I will walk the dogs with Bec and I will run.

I had coffee last night with my friend, Lyn, and I worked yesterday morning with my friend, Molly. If I could be around the two of them everyday, I would never have a bad day. What magical women!

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The making of a slug. Or, I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.


Exercise: walked to Burris from RB, rode bike back to RB

Food: banana, apple, swiss cheese sandwich, orange/tangerine juice, too many M&Ms, one piece of pizza, three breadsticks, PBJ Uncrustable, Jones Cream Soda

Dissertation. Re-Creation.

Tomorrow morning I have a meeting with Debbie about my dissertation. What I have right now are a bunch of ideas and no real cohesiveness to any of them. What I need by the beginning of next semester is a completed proposal. Sometimes I wish I could be a genie and simply wave my hand over my computer and produce not only a completed proposal, but also a completed dissertation. At least I love my topic, and I am not just writing about something to complete a class or to appease someone else. I really care about desires (hunger, spiritual, sexual) and how they play out in novels by African American women, particularly about how they play out within the confines of slavery. After tomorrow, I think my ideas will take on an even more settled, focused tenor. Hopefully, coming off of the conference and meeting to talk frankly and thoughtfully with my director will make my ideas gel in a way that enable me to get them down on paper and to do it quickly.

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I can never get over how simply being in someone else’s presence can alter the constitution of our souls. For good or for ill. It’s usually so much easier for me to be pulled down than it is for me to be lifted up. It’s a much more difficult job to lighten my mood, to strengthen my soul, but there are a few people in my life who are able to pick me up with relative ease. Without those friends in my life, it would be much more difficult. And, their visits always come when I most need them. I feel renewed, rejuvenated, and reinvigorated. I am humbled to be blessed with such friends, whose collective presence fills me up with grace and hope. Thanks.

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Exercise: walked 1 mile with dogs; ran two miles; rode to Tillotson SBUX and to RB

Food: banana, juice, grande caramel macchiato, Clif bar, apple, two slices of pizza, two breadsticks, salad with ranch dressing