Reason Breeds Insanity

Orion
by Susan Gevirtz

        What you make on Orion

             I leave to you



      What you take from Orion

              I take to you

If I had it all to do over again, I think I would have moved to a commune somewhere in the Pacific Northwest right after high school before the capitalists got me. I would have skipped the whole college thing and made baskets for a living or something crazy like that, because I hate money. I hate it with the deepest core of my being. If you can hate one thing, it is the effects of money on people. There are some of us who never have enough, and those of us who have so much we can’t properly manage it. I am amazed at how much conversation the topic of the “richest people” in the world generates, and not surprisingly, they are all men. You would never know they are all men by the way we glue ourselves to the telly watching Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and whatever female is our weekly exploitation. However, I once heard a statistic that the five richest people in the world have a as much wealth as the fifteen poorest countries. I am not sure how accurate that is, because I couldn’t find where I read it. At any rate, the money situation in our world is out of control! How does a world get so out of whack monetarily? If I had to write a composition for middle school English about America and my pride in our country, I think, knowing what I know now, I would write about why America should be communist—or at least communalist with socialized medicine or health insurance for everyone—and why I am so ashamed of who we have become. How can we justify killing the very people we armed (and trained)? That’s like giving a starving kid a cookie and telling her not to eat it! Or teaching a kid how to read, but telling him that some books are off limits. You can’t give people tools to inflict destruction and then get pissed off when they do it! How dare we. We have been very bad, and we can’t even take care of own people, much less afford to buy more bombs and guns! So, I propose we eradicate money, which is according to a very old book that I happen to love, the root of all evil! I would end my middle school rant with these words: Capitalism makes us kill each other, and if every one worked together like on a big sustainable farm (that was for you, Pastor), crafting, growing things, and wearing patchouli, and no antiperspirant, and coloring outside the lines, we could all get along. This is why capitalism is bad and communism is good. Capitalism kills people. Thanks.

On a much more fun, and way less serious note, my friends are coming home!!!!! They are moving back in early July, so we are going to wait to have our hundredth anniversary party for our house until they get here. I am SO excited. Now I actually get to see the kid grow up! Yippee! If anyone hears of any openings in English anywhere, let me know, so I can spread the good word. Now if I can just figure out how to pay to go see Merideth, I will be in luck!

I am reading a book right now that really challenges my thoughts about politics. Even more than God’s Politics by Jim Wallis, Jesus for President by Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw has made me question my life and the way I live it. The whole idea is that our way as Christians should be so radically different than the world’s way that we end up sticking out like sore thumbs. Do you stick out like a sore thumb? Does your life even look different from your neighbors’ lives? Mine doesn’t. I want it to. I would like to think it does, but stacked side by side, I have an average American life. Actually, and even worse, I have an average middle-class American life. I am the bourgeoisie. Ick?!? How did I get where I am? I am not really sure, but I woke up one day to find myself here. I don’t hate it, but where I am looks just like where every other middle-class Christian is. I am not sure that I am so comfortable with that anymore. I am not sure I ever was comfortable with that. Anyway, Jesus for President has challenged the way I think about love and grace. They quote Dorothy Day, whose work I just need to read and then convince Bec to open our house to others, which will probably happen right as hell is freezing over. She Dorothy Day says, “Love is a harsh and dreadful thing to ask of us, but it is the only answer.” Love is the only answer to so many problems. My question for myself is how can I be more love?

With all of that said, I figured out how to make my own shoes yesterday. At least, I think I figured it out—I am going to make them like Espadrilles with the woven sole. Hopefully, I can find some used tires and inner tubes to use for the soles of some others. I read online that tire inner tubes make great insoles; and apparently, tires themselves make great soles. I just need to experiment and figure it out. Also, because it is raining today, I am going to run a few errands and then…..SEW?!?

Anyone know where to get some silk screening equipment for cheap?

I just turned in my students’ grades and got all three of my papers back from my professors. Apparently, I am doing new and original work, but my writing still sucks. Okay, in all fairness, it isn’t nearly as suck-tacular as it was three or four years ago. I just wish I would have known as a nineteen year-old that I wanted to do English for a living. I could have had the advantages of my peers, since most of them were English undergrads and had the benefit of having someone nurture them through this writing process. The good thing is that my profs at least want to help me try to rewrite my papers from this semester to turn them into publishable articles. I really have four papers now that I have been encouraged to do that with, so I plan to spend part of this summer doing just that. I have three British literature essay and one American literature essay. I frequently wonder if I should be in British lit instead! I love American lit, though so there I stay.

I am looking forward to doing a bunch of stuff this summer that I never get to do, although, I can honestly say that I could easily lost in this freedom, and end up doing nothing meaningful. I guess I should just consider whatever I do meaningful, because it all shapes who I am. I am hoping to have a chance to read some things for fun, to do some art, and to make some clothes. I am hoping to be able to stop shopping at retail stores by fall. I am sick to death of retail- raping the world to clothe Americans. I figure I can help by making my own clothes, but now the trick will be to find material that isn’t just as bad as the clothes in stores. Oh, and I also need to learn how to sew.

EDIT:
Stuff from my other, old, defunct blog. Cinco de Mayo!

So I walked the mini-marathon on Saturday, spent the day lounging around on Sunday, and feel fine today. It took Bec and I nearly four hours to finish the race, and I know she could have finished it way faster than we did, but it was fun because we did it together. I am hoping that next year I can finish it quicker than this year, and I think if I walk everyday I will be able to. Also, I will probably lose some weight walking everyday, so it should make walking easier. I am all about being proud to be a fat kid, but when I can’t walk 13.1 miles without nearly dying, it’s time to get healthier! And healthier I will get.

I think this summer needs to be the healthy turning point in my life: meditation, walking, veganism, low-stress, and Sabbath. The hair growing is all just desire. A friend of mine asked me what it has to do with the rest of the healthy living, etc. I told her it has nothing to do with it, but I think I have changed my mind. Some religions believe that hair holds memories. I tend to agree. I want my memories to be measured out in dread locked, sustained and twisted over time. Hair is a great metaphor for life.

At any rate, I have tons to do this summer, but none of it too serious.