Reason Breeds Insanity

He died. We buried him at my mom and dad’s house with the rest of the deceased animals. We wrapped him in his favorite blanket and gave him his shreds o’ Canadian goose he loved to carry around in his mouth. I don’t think I’ve seen an animal die so quickly. Two days ago he started throwing up. Then he got really lathargic and wouldn’t even take his medicine. Bec spent an hour coaxing 15cc’s of Gatorade into him, he drank a bit of water. She walked the other two dogs, came back into their house and he was lying in his own vomit. He was a very persnickety dog, so Bec knew he was almost gone. She went into the house and called the vet, then when she went back into the shed, he was breathing his last. CPR didn’t even work, so he is hanging out with my grandpas and the other animals somewhere. I am sure that humans and animals go to the same place, otherwise I don’t want to go there.

It is hard. Pippin was just what I always wanted in a dog. Big. Galumphy. And totally loving. Lily is sad. So is Sydney. They are just pacing around in their house looking for Pippin. Bec said the sweetest thing was that Lily started crying and then she let her out and she laid down next to him and licked his face. How sad. Death: it seems as if it is constantly licking at our heels.

As if my dad having to have surgery again, the dog getting neutered, working on my master’s project, buying a house, and hoping Becky gets a job wasn’t enough, now my dog, Pippin has some fucked up disease. He has been throwing up and pooping water for two days. He has medicine but he can’t keep anything down. Whatever he has is so bad that our vet gave us his home phone number. I feel bad that Becky has to take care of him every two hours with a syringe. He won’t drink anything on his own. That is where we are. I am here at BSU doing my paper. My goal is to get it done by Saturday so I can enjoy my mom’s birthday with her. Pray or cross your fingers.

My dad is having another surgery today. One of the wires fell off of his heart, and they have to go back in and reattach it. How shitty is that! Considering that he just took his bike to the car wash and cleaned it all up because he was ready to get back in shape again. So keep him in your thoughts at around 1PM today. According to my favorite nurse, it should be an out-patient procedure.

Incidentally, I took Sydney to the vet to lose his two best friends today, as well. He was just pissed because he couldn’t have any snacks when he got back from his walk this morning. Pippin and Lily were also a bit confused about the lack of water in their house. Bec said it was pretty funny.

Other things to consider praying about, thinking happy thoughts for, doing a chant or performing a ritual in honor of: we find out today about our house’s electricity, I am still working on this paper (I am no longer half in love with Kate Chopin-okay, I am…but still), my friend Merideth just got a new house, and my friend Amy’s dog had surgery (possibly for cancer), and I am waiting to hear about the Ph.D. program. You know not much going on here! Thanks.

Today was supposed to be devoted entirely to writing my paper. I had it all planned out: get off of work at twelve, go to Bracken and hide in the basement surrounded by children’s books, work on my paper until I almost fell asleep, and then go home to sleep-in in the morning. But I am here at the SBUX because no one came in to cover the midshift. I figured I would just stay and work because my manager is in Anderson at a meeting, and all of the other shifts have close to 40 hours. Here I sit. On my second break. Not getting my project done. I will have to finish the outline tonight at home. I guess tomorrow I will get the 15 pages done that I was supposed to get done today!

It feels a bit like something a motivational speaker would say. But I have to say that I was intrigued to hear it come from the mouth of a coworker of mine who is graduating from Taylor University. He said that quote is one of the best things he learned in college. I guess unlike the movie Reality Bites, and so many of us in Gen X, David learned more than his social security number. One of his professors said to them (the students in the class) that if they wanted something to happen, like a change or an improvement, they should ask themselves what they are doing to help foster that change. What are you doing about it today?

I would like to finish my Ph.D. one day, but what am I doing about it today? So short of only remembering xxx-xx-xxxx, what else am I doing today to make the world a bit better?