Roadtrip: Food and Sights

It’s been such a whirlwind since I got back to Muncie last Sunday, I almost forgot to write about the trip. Of course, the best part of the trip was the food, so I will start with the amazing restaurants we went to in both Nebraska and Minnesota. I’ll talk a bit about running in Woods Park, and a bit more about the things I learned on the trip (e.g. that the big ball of twine is simply that).

When we arrived in Lincoln, Sarah had made homemade vegan tamales and mole for us. It wasn’t lost on me how much of a sacrifice it was for her to make such an amazing meal, and tamales are my single favorite Mexican food. They are never vegan in restaurants; in fact, Sarah’s grandma said that tamales aren’t real when they are vegetarian. They may not have been considered “real” by Mexican standards, but to me they were simply perfect. I loved every bite of every one I ate, mostly because they were made with love.

The next day we went to a place called Maggie’s and had the most delicious vegan wraps, which were washed down with various sodas we’d purchased at Rocket Fizz. My lunch was a coconut curry tofu wrap and a Faygo Rock-n-rye, and both were delicious. We also got muffins for a snack, and they were good too. Once we finished our wraps, we went across the street to a coffee shop called The Mill and I had their Creole Lait, which was a blend of espresso, chickory, and soy milk. Yummy goodness. Sarah and I piece-mealed dinner while Kellie and Daniel went to Daniel’s class.

On Tuesday, I made breakfast with Kellie’s help. We had a filling combination of vegan sweet potato waffles with toasted pecan “butter” and vegan breakfast sausage. I am not sure what was for lunch that day, or if we just lounged around and ate at our own leisure, but for dinner we went to Yia Yia’s Pizza. Sarah and I split a vegan pizza: spinach and zucchini on my half, spinach and olives on her half, and vegan cheese on the whole thing. Kellie and Daniel had the American (bbq sauce, chicken, corn, jalapeños, and vegan cheese on half). The amazing thing about the soy (vegan) cheese was the fact that it actually melted. It was stringy and stretchy like real cheese. Now I am on a quest for delicious fake cheese.

On Monday and Tuesday, I woke up at 6:00 AM to run in Woods Park. The trail went past several different pieces of artwork, a business that looked like a strange doctor’s office, some basketball courts, some tennis courts, and last but not least, an uh-maz-ing public pool. It was a 50 meter pool with 8 lanes, a separate diving well, and a smaller warm up pool. Seriously, it was a perfect way for me to start my day. I got to watch the club teams practice and the lifeguards get the pool ready for the business day. It almost inspired em to start swimming two days a week in the fall. I think I can do that on Monday and Wednesday, but we’ll have to see once school starts.

Wednesday morning brought the twelve-hour car ride to the ball of twine, via the Malcolm X birth site memorial in Omaha. Here is Sarah’s love letter to the ball of twine (it’s the bottom one):

And here is the strangely worded Malcolm X sign:This car ride also resulted in Kellie’s GPS being named Marvelle, but I won’t tell you the story. Some things must remain on the road trip.

When we arrived in Minnesota, Ann and Jack were already asleep, so we snuck (sneaked?) into the house like little mice. The next we called Ico to meet with her and we were off! For lunch we went to one of my favorite types of restaurants, Tibetan. We had two types of curry and some fucking-hot noodles. They were deliciously hurty on the tongue. After the Tibetan food, we went to a coffee shop that has become Ico’s favorite. It was passable. My drink was fine, but not exceptional, and Kellie’s was strange and unusual and not in a good way like Lydia on Beetlejuice. Ico loved hers, so maybe we were just flakey. Or maybe I was just expecting something other than what I got. At any rate, when we finished the coffee, we embarked on the ridiculousness that is the Mall of America. We ended the night at the Bulldog with Ann and Jack. I love the Bulldog, except the prices. They have Hacker-Pschorr Dark. I can never find that particular H-P beer here in Indiana, so it’s a nice little treat in the Twin Cities.

On Friday, we had a cookout with Andy, Claire, Tim, and Whit at Ann and Jack’s house. Everyone came, and Ico’s sister Sen made Raspberry Tiramisu cupcakes that were to die for good. But, the most amazing food moment of the vacation was at Evergreen on Eat Street (Nicollet) in Minneapolis. I was a little nervous going there because I typically do not like mock-meat. I generally believe that when you are vegan, your goal should not be to figure out ho to make meatless meat, but this restaurant changed my life. It should be called Life-Change Cantonese instead of Evergreen Cantonese. We had two mock-meat dishes and a veggie dish. All three were fantastic: the mock-meat actually tasted and felt like the real thing, but not in too creepy of a way. Kellie had a chicken dish that she thoroughly enjoyed. The spices and herbs were just right, and the service was great. They had bubble tea, and vegan hot and sour soup. Seriously, does it get any better than mock-beef with lemongrass and peppers? We also went to Smitten Kitten. Interesting.

On Saturday, we drove back to Lincoln and had dinner at the Blue Orchid Thai restaurant. It was pretty tasty, but they need some serious attention to be paid to their wait staff. I have had better service at Abercrombie & Fitch or Hollister and I can’t even wear their clothes. On Sunday, we drove back to Indiana and stopped at a little Mexican restaurant somewhere in Illinois. It was good, but it only served to make me miss Sarah and her tamales. Finally, we ended the trip with pizza from T-Dubs here in Muncie. Kellie loves their pizza, but it has a bit too much garlic for my liking. For some reason, garlic tears me up. Their breadsticks are pretty fine, though. I’d eat them again, and I love supporting a local business with my pizza habits.

Going Away. New Focus. And Changes.

I am going on a week-long road trip to Nebraska and Minnesota, with a little swing through South Dakota to liven things up. I am not taking my computer, and I plan to only sporadically use my cell phone. This means two things: no blog entry this week and hopefully a lot to write about next week.I am actually looking forward to being detached for a bit, or as Bec’s sister Susan says, “It is ok to be inaccessible.” In my heart, I know it is okay, but in my head I keep thinking I will miss something important. I know this isn’t true. And, if I do miss something, will it be the end of the world? No.

When I return from my trip, there will be approximately three weeks until school starts. Hopefully what you will begin to read here will be a more academic look at things related to teaching, theology, social justice, etc. I started this blog to discuss ideas, and it has morphed into a weird combination of journal and goal setting, which I will still do as well. However, I want a better portion of it to be more focused, direct readings of current events, books I am reading, and life circumstances that will cause us all to think more critically, myself foremost.

Finally, I also wanted to thank everyone for making a relatively rough birthday better. Your kind words and happy thoughts were just what I needed. I am working on becoming the person you think I am! 🙂 I am starting to do that by changing the focus of my running form pure pleasure to raising money for a cause that is important to me. You can support my efforts in fundraising for Riley Hospital for children by going to this website to donate money. I want to raise $1000.00 for them, and right now I have $25.00 raised, which I donated myself. 😦 Pitch in.

Birthday 36. And counting.

Here I am at 36 doing something strange with my mouth. That’s my friend Don’s head in the background. He was having a meeting at Payne’s. His third in two days.

I spent the day at Payne’s Coffee in Gas City working on the assessments for the IEI at Ball State, but I started it off with a conversation with a friend who’s trying to make a tough decision regarding her daughters. I had this conversation right after I learned that my childhood best friend, Heather, is having back surgery as I write this. I was torn between coming here to relax/work and spending my day in the hospital with her, but I had to get some work done. Now I feel like an ass for not being with her when she needs me. Again. Anyway, while my friend and I were talking another colleague came in and shared some of her stories from Iraq with us, so the day began in a herky-jerky sort of up-and-down emotional kind of way.

I woke up this morning thinking thoughts of birthday elation. I love my birthday. I have always loved it because I try hard to live with no regrets. The older I get, the more difficult that gets. Should I regret the fact that I haven’t followed the same path as others? I have friends who have kids who graduated from high school this year. I have one friend whose daughter is getting married soon. I have friends who are medical doctors, big business people, and recognized members of their particular fields. I am still struggling through a PhD program. I have no children. I am not well-recognized for anything. Do I need to be? Do I want a life like that? I don’t until I compare myself to other people, which seems to be quite a struggle for me lately. I thought this was supposed to be the crisis that hits on a monumental birthday, not at 36. 36? Seriously. At thirty-three, I jokingly said that Jesus saved the world at that age, and what had I done. Now, I ask myself, What have I done?

I looked back through some of my other entries around previous birthdays, and I don’t mention anything about feeling honestly out of touch or overly emotional. I mention my usual things that I struggle with: my relationship with God and the fact that I feel distant from [Them], my struggle to treat people with a consistent ethic, my desire to eat a compassionate lifestyle with consistency, my desire to make something more of myself, and my inability to be happy with the life God has called me to live. There is always a struggle for me with these things, and they play like a more than broken record throughout this blog and my thoughts, skipping and scratching until I want to pick up the needle for good. But this birthday, this one has me feeling incredibly emotional, teary-eyed, and scattered.

I suppose you, my dear reader, get tired of the struggle, the whining about it, and my attempts at living better only to fail. I grow weary of it, too. What I do know is that I want to just learn how to fix it and have it be fixed. Permanently. Much like riding the bee ride with Iz at the fair, I get tired of going in circles. The ups and down don’t bother me. In fact, they excite me. But the fucking circles make me want to throw up. I get tired of pretending that things excite me at each revolution. I get tired of waving at various scenarios as I pass. “Hey, Iz. Wave at your mom and dad!” translates to “Hey, Corb, wave at the shitty way you treat people” or “Hey, Corb, wave at your questioning about whether or not Jesus matters to you.” It’s fun when you’re on a carnival ride with your amazing goddaughter, but it’s not when you’re on your own personal-life carnival ride.

But, I’ve been reading a lot of Buddhist thought lately, as I’ve indicated, and it seems like a big portion of the Buddhist idea is learning and relearning, which sort of goes against the Christian idea that God changes us. I mean, there is a big portion of Christian practice that leans toward learning and relearning, but it seems to lean on the idea that God is responsible for the change, not the person. I could be misinterpreting things. Maybe I need to be a Buddha-Christ or something. The two spiritualities work together really well. How can you read the Sermon on the Mount and not read it as at least a Buddhist-influenced text?

I’m too busy. Way too fucking busy. I don’t have the time to spend with people that I like to have.

I’m too attached to my computer, spending more time on it than I do with real people. It’s sad when cyber-people become your reality.

I’m too spread thin. Even when I am with people, I can’t concentrate on them. I have a friend who makes each person in a room feel like s/he is the only person there, in a meaningful, you are all that matter kind of way. I want to be that person.

I’m too critical of myself. I suppose I have some good qualities. In fact, I know I have some good qualities, but I focus too much on some of my bad qualities to recognize the ways in which the good ones could make me grow.

Obviously, this post is a bunch of rambling nonsense brought on by my aging. I’ll be fine tomorrow. Really. This quote by John Lennon makes me feel better every time I think about it: “Time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted.” I have enjoyed all 36 years to their fullest. Here’s to another 36 of enjoyment and time wasting.

School. Dissertating. Running. Church. Vegan Food Failure #1.

I went to school today to help rearrange the middle school office, which is a wreck, and I am not sure we improved it a great deal. We have those weird curved (around the corner) style desks where there are two desks attached to each other with a corner piece. Six of them do not fit well in one office. In fact, five of them would probably not fit comfortably. We will mostly be on top of each other, which is fine with me since I only have bodily personal space issues and don’t mind one bit sharing communal living space. I don’t mind if people are climbing all over my desk, as long as they don’t touch me in the process.

Going to school today really excited me for the fall. I want to start planning. I fantasize about what my room will look like, about the lessons I will teach, and about the ways I will interact with the students. If I didn’t have so much left to do this summer, I’d want school to start tomorrow. I walked around and just took in my classroom, looking in every cabinet and touching every filthy, kid-handled surface. I dreamed of burning sage and anointing the doorway, but I don’t want the campus police to be called because of the smell of the sage. (True story: One of my friends had the campus police called on him because he was doing an American Indian prayer/smudging in his office, and one of our colleagues thought he was smoking marijuana. They really came to our hallway and investigated his office until they were satisfied the smell came from sage. In their defense, they smell similar, and you can get high on salvia (sage) just as well as marijuana.) I may have to settle for just the anointing. No one will know what that smell is anyway, and the oil certainly doesn’t smell like pot-smoke like the sage does. I plan to spend much more time in my classroom than I spend in my office anyway. And when I am in the office, I will be working on my dissertation. I would love to get this thing finished as soon as possible. I am hoping to finish by May of 2012, which has been pushed back by a whole year because I will be teaching full time in the fall.

I just started reading a couple of theoretical/theological books to work on framing the chapter about biblical authority. Sometimes it seems like the more I read, the more questions I have instead of feeling like I am actually learning anything and moving toward having answers. Will I ever feel like I actually have some authority over my project? Will I ever be able to say to myself that I have read enough, digested it, and formulated my own opinions/theories about these texts? It feels like a long time coming, and like it may never happen.

Another thing that seems like it may never happen is this marathon. Although my six-mile run went really well on Saturday, my ankle still hurts unless I wear my minimalist footwear. When I wear my running shoes, and I have three different pairs I’ve been rotating, my ankle hurts ridiculously the next day. If I wear my Vibrams, I am fine, but the most I have run in them is three miles. Next Saturday, I am supposed to run 7 miles. Three of those miles will be done in the morning in Pendleton at a 5K that Bec and I are doing together. She’ll walk. I’ll run. We’ll finish together. 🙂 I think I will wear my running shoes for the 5K and my Vibrams for the other 4 miles and see how that works out. At any rate, I need to figure this whole thing out before I am up to running 10-15 miles at a stretch.

My Saturday run was one of the most beautiful I have been on in a long time. I started at about 630 with a nice slow walk down to Elm Street to sort of warm up my legs and work out the sleeping kinks, then I ran along the river from our house to the mile marker by Marsh on Tillotson and White River Boulevard and home. I finished by taking off my shoes and walking barefoot down to Elm Street and back. When I started out, the air was cool and there was a slight breeze. The dun had just poked out from above the horizon and the earth was just waking up. Slowly. As I ran, the sun moved up over the trees and the breeze slowed, giving me a humid, yet tolerable, workout. On mornings like that one, it’s not difficult to worship as I run, remembering the Creator and my place in the creation.

I think my view of my place in this world is complicated by the fact that I restrict myself to thinking worship somehow involves a human church, so on Sunday we went to church at Commonway because we had both been thinking this past week about missing church. Typically, we go to the Sunday evening Commonway service, but during the summer there aren’t as many college students so they meet in the morning with the regular service. The morning service has a whole different feel than the evening one. I enjoyed it, but when school starts back up, I plan to switch back to Sunday nights for a couple reasons.

For one thing, had it not been for my friend Molly and one of my students, we would have made it into the church, through the service, and back out without ever talking to another living person besides the surly greeter who didn’t understand why we wanted to share a bulletin. The speaker even made his way down the other end of our aisle, hugging people as he went, then almost tripped over my foot as he was exiting our aisle, but he didn’t even say good morning. Excellent interpersonal skills.

Secondly, I simply can’t stand selling things in church. I have this strong aversion to churches maintaining bookstores and pay cafés in their facilities. I have more of an aversion when the said money-making institutions are open for sales on Sunday morning as you are walking into the church. I have more of an aversion when there are inserts in the bulletin that advertise the sales going on in said marketplaces, and I just pretty much wait for the roof to cave in when the speaker announces the Bible sales from the dais after he makes a point about the importance of reading the Bible.

As churches today go, Commonway is a good one. They work hard to maintain social outreach. In fact, they have people in Kazakhstan doing some social outreach, they are collecting school supplies for students in Muncie, and they are collecting new kids shoes for those kids whose famlies can’t  afford them. I can get behind all of those things. The message had a good balance of material for new Christians and challenges for those people have been Christians for longer. And, I love the pastor. Matt pretty much rocks.

Vegan Food Failure #1: Taco pizza. Never try to make a vegan taco pizza without taco seasoning. It doesn’t work. At all. You will end up with beans, corn, tomatoes, and salsa on crust instead of taco pizza. Ew, but I hate to waste food, so I ate it, trying my best not to think of it as taco pizza so it would taste better. Okay, I imagined it was simply pizza, so it wouldn’t taste repulsive. I kept trying to get Bec to eat some of it, but she refused. Smart woman.

Christianity. Games. Conversations. Food and Running.

Sometimes I think I’m not a very good Christian. I think this because I don’t give enough grace, I don’t read my Bible enough, and I don’t really pray at all anymore. I justify this by believing that the amount of grace I give is way more than most the people around me. I look around, and I see the way people treat each other without even thinking about each other at all and without considering how they are making other people feel. Of course, comparing yourself to other people always gets you just short of nowhere. Just ask any of the Psalmists about comparing yourself to others. I don’t think you’d find one of them, or any other biblical writer for that matter, who advocates measuring yourself on a worldly standard.

That being said, in comparing myself to a biblical standard of grace-giving instead of comparing myself to each other, I fail miserably. In fact, comparing myself to any religious systems standards of person-to-person interactions, I fail miserably. Buddhists might say I am too attached to myself and too concerned about my worldly pleasure. There is a quote that says, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” I think compassion for Buddhists is a lot like grace for Christians. They’re both difficult, because you have to look at people with other-worldly eyes. You have to see past the history you have with them, and look into who they are. It’s like the Christian concept of seeing Jesus in people or the Jewish concept of loving your neighbor. And in Islam, “in one Hadith the Prophet -peace be upon him- said that Allah has commanded him about nine things. One of them he mentioned was ‘that I forgive those who do wrong to me.’” It’s so difficult to forgive, to give grace, to show compassion when we feel we’ve been wrong. In this way, I think I need to practice my Christianity in a more direct and conscious way.

My poor attempt at Christianity lately could stem from the fact that we haven’t been to church in … well, I am unsure how long it’s been. I can’t speak for Bec, but I am starting to miss it. Finding a church is a difficult thing, though. I suppose this problem is then compounded by the fact that I haven’t been reading my Bible consistently, and the fact that very rarely pray. I mean, really pray, or really read the Bible. I do the thing that I despise in other people. I break out the Bible when I get in a theological argument with someone who hurls scripture at me, hurling scripture back at them with equal (sometimes more) ferocious velocity, and I pray when it’s convenient or when I need or want something.

By really praying I mean uttering words from my mouth or in my head to a God who I think is listening. I do, however, pray a lot, if by pray you mean worshiping God for the amazing things [They] have made, praising God for the ability to move my body, as sluggishly as it may be, on my morning run, or thanking God for my amazing life, friends, and family. I think this type of prayer is valid, but it isn’t focused. I haven’t consciously thought about who I am praying to, what or whom I am praying for. I simply let whatever thoughts or ideas I have float up (out, down, around) to God, not really expecting a response or acknowledgment. Does it make prayers invalid if you just worship? Do you have to ask for things?

The same goes for scripture reading. I exaggerated a little when I said above that I only use scripture to refute other people. That’s not entirely true. In fact, recently I have done a few little exegetical projects for friends that have really been challenging and fun, but I don’t do it consistently. I don’t have a set aside time period each day when I devote myself to God alone, reading [Their] words and talking with [Them]. It’s difficult for me to figure out how to develop this discipline while teaching, dissertating (which isn’t a word, but really should be), running, cooking, and whatever else the day holds.

Maybe the conduit for grace I crave to become would come to fruition if I disciplined myself in reading the Bible and praying more. I know in my favorite book of the Bible, James says, “The effective and fervent prayer of a righteous person avails much.”

I am not good at playing games. I never have been.

I had a great conversation over coffee with a very conservative friend of mine this morning. It was the type of conversation I like to have. We do not agree about anything except books and their magic, and yet, when we part company, we can hug each other and know that the next time will be just as good.

I turned right around and had another excellent conversation with two other friends about polar opposite topics. We talked about the road trip we are about to embark upon, and decided that we are all SO ready to see our other friends and spend some time going cross-country. The trip is going to take us to Nebraska and Minnesota, but we are working in North and South Dakota and possibly Kansas, just so we can say we did. Unfortunately, the Badlands are on the other side of South Dakota, so we won’t be able to check those out like we had hoped. Sad day. Either way, we are excited.

It always amazes me how such different people can bring out facets of us that we wouldn’t know we had except for their persistence in bringing those things out in us.

Today has been an excellent food day. I started off with granola in soy milk and a decaf Americano while I did my work and waited to meet with Reta. Once she got there, I got a soy chai latte in a ceramic mug. I have to say that soy chai was possibly the most perfect hot drink I have had in a long time. Chai tea is so comforting, almost like the crying squares on the quilt I’ve had since childhood. The quilt, made by my Aunt Aglaia, has two squares of incredibly soft material. I used to use those two squares to dry my eyes when I cried, and I did lots of crying. I think it is my weird artistic sensibilities. I need to do some art, because it might help me get back to who I was before graduate school before working in a church, and before I became so jaded. I was softer when I was an artist, but I suppose we all change as we age and grow. But I digress.

For lunch, my two other friends and I went to Sketchy Thai, and I had tofu Mee Krop and spring rolls. I followed it up with an iced soy chai. The first one was so good, I couldn’t resist the second. Finally, for dinner tonight after Bec and I went on a nice (our first this summer, and blissful as usual) bike ride, we had garden green beans and sweet potato gnocchi with sage “butter” sauce. I finished it all off with a scoop (or maybe two) of Ben and Jerry’s Berried Treasure Sorbet and a couple (or four) of my mom’s delicious vegan sugar cookies. I would say it was a perfect food day to fuel my six-miler in the morning.

I am hoping to run a fairly even tempo tomorrow, so I am going to get up early to run while it’s fairly cool. I ran three miles yesterday in my Vibram Five Fingers, and my feet felt fantastic when I was finished. But, I am going to run the six miles in my regular running shoes, so I don’t injure myself by transitioning to “barefoot” running too quickly. I’d much rather go it slow than hurt myself.