A few weeks ago I purchased a new planner to help me organize myself better, because I am extremely unorganized in most areas of my life, and I find that I can’t remember things like I used to be able to remember them. I find myself double-booking, forgetting events, and generally getting overwhelmed and falling behind with things I need to pay closer attention to. I ordered a beautiful yellow planner with a big sunflower on the front—I like flowers—from Passion Planner. I will admit that they are a little pricey, but so far the extra touches and emails have made it worth it. One email was a weekly insert asking me to consider the ways in which I love myself and what I can do to remind myself of those things more regularly. Worthwhile.
A couple of things I love already are the way the planner has the user reiterate their goals, their focus each day, and their events. This should help me remember what drives me. The other thing I love so far is that the planner begins by having the user identify their core values; first they rank several values, then they group them, then they decide which three are their core values that motivate them, or that move them. In the end, I settled on three (each with a sub value, so six total): altruism/community, grace/peace, and wisdom/humility. If I am honest, these six values have been part of my guiding force for most of my life, and I am excited to intentionally work toward a better understanding of them, so I can better apply them in all areas of my life.
I mention all of this, because I had a difficult time discerning how to practice my faith this Lent. I knew I wanted to leave behind social media for at least these 40-ish days, because I have been spending way too much time just aimlessly scrolling. Today, for example, had I not given up social media, I may have missed out on my walk—no, I would have missed out on my walk because I wouldn’t have moved from the couch. If I had missed out on my walk, I wouldn’t have seen the herd of deer running through the brush in the wetlands preserve, I wouldn’t have heard the frogs peeping in the marsh there, and I may not have seen all of the geese, ducks, and other birds out doing their spring things. More importantly, one of my big goals for this year is to complete the Muncie 70.3, as I wrote in my last post. And, had I been scrolling, I would have spent one more day just sitting, not moving my body. To be honest, I am completely terrified about finishing this event. I know I can swim and bike, but the run/walk has me nervous!
In addition to giving up social media, which I understand in the grand scheme of this world isn’t earth shattering or really even a sacrifice, I have decided I am going to be intentional (again) about reading my Bible and trying (still) to make it through the entire text from beginning to end, but let me just say that Chronicles is just rough. Every single time. I guess I feel led to do this and to tell you about it, because I have also moved my membership (finally) from the UMC to the Episcopal Church, which I have loved for more than a decade. And, the best part of loving the Episcopal Church is they love me back, rather than just tolerating me, so I feel invested in my faith in a new way. I have been trying to get back into a deeper relationship with God for a few years now, and I’ve been missing some things, so refocusing is helping me think deeper and to try harder to rekindle that faith.
Finally, one of the best things happened to me while Bec was here visiting. If you know us, you know church is really important to both of us, because church is the outward expression of our inward faith. Just so we’re clear, our collective faith and belief in Jesus is the important part here, not the institution of church. But, I digress. What was cool is that we were asked to present the elements for eucharist at the Ash Wednesday service. I was hesitant because of my Brian (my brain when it behaves anxiously, what if I trip? what if I drop it? what if my pants are stuck in my butt crack? what if I forget to bow to the altar (which I did)?), but Bec was eager to do it because she is a communion steward at her church and isn’t afraid of being in front of people in any capacity, which I admire about her. We did it, and it was lovely, and all of the wafers and wine made it to the front of the church successfully. Since, we rarely get to see each other, and even more rarely get to go to church together, presenting the elements was an extra special gift for the two of us. To make it even more special, we were also celebrating our 12 anniversary or our handfasting ceremony. In short, the day was lovely and meaningful.
Reason Breeds Insanity 