Category Archives: Beer

I Believe…

Posted on 3 September 2009 | 4 comments
  1. people are inherently good.
  2. in smelling flowers.
  3. in watching butterflies.
  4. that if everyone rode a motorcycle, we would be a much more peaceful planet.
  5. in God.
  6. tattoos make skin beautiful.
  7. in sleeping for at least 9 hours each night.
  8. that tragedies happen for a reason.
  9. that we should share what we have with people who don’t have as much.
  10. in feeding homeless people.
  11. people live the best in community.
  12. in running.
  13. reading helps us to understand each other on a deeper level.
  14. what we eat matters.
  15. that beer is good.
  16. everyone should get paid the same amount.
  17. there should be no racism.
  18. that gay people should be allowed to marry.
  19. we should think for ourselves.
  20. people should say please and thank you.
  21. we should revere our elders.
  22. we should train our children up in a calm, guiding manner.
  23. in grace.
  24. people should listen when other people talk.
  25. people should answer the question, “How are you?” with an honest answer.
  26. you should be able to make change out of the offering plate at church.
  27. vanilla malts with frosted flakes and mini marshmallows are next to heaven in loveliness.
  28. I could eat pizza for every meal.
  29. swine flu is a government scare tactic to keep us paranoid.
  30. people should be able to dress comfortably for all occasions.
  31. clothing designers should learn that not all fat women are busty.
  32. we should spend time discussing ideas and not people.
  33. each year people should have to donate their most prized possession to a homeless shelter, domestic violence shelter, or children’s home.
  34. most ill-feelings can be cured by walking in the woods.
  35. squirrels really are out to get us.
  36. when people swim they release their stress into the water with each stroke.
  37. hormones kill brain cells.
  38. most good music was made in the late 60s, early 70s.
  39. diamonds are not a girls best friend.
  40. we should still talk about AIDS and other STDs in health class, and talk about ways other than abstinence to prevent them.
  41. every child deserves a happy childhood, but does not need to be spoiled to accomplish that childhood.
  42. in equal rights for all people.
  43. we throw away too much. We should be more frugal.
  44. Chuck Taylors and Five Fingers are the world’s most perfect shoes.
  45. in gleaning out of dumpsters.

4 Comments

Posted in Beer, Fat, Feminism, Food, Grace, Motorcycles, Politics, Queer, Reading, Relationships, Religion, Running, School, Teaching, Writing

It’s Been a Long Time…

Posted on 25 August 2009 | 2 comments

…been a long time, been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time. Sure has. Nothing like a little led Zeppelin to get the day going. I am not sure I even really like Led Zeppelin, but I like this song even though I have never really understood what it was about. It’s amazing that I could listen to a song a million times, at every high school dance (the three I went to) and on the radio, and never really get the lyrics.

I suppose it hasn’t really been lonely, but it has been a long time since I have written anything. So much has happened since the last time I wrote, it seems like light years since I went to Michigan, since Merideth got engaged, since I took my comprehensive exams, since Jacob spent two weeks at our house and taught me to love disc golf, and since Dave, the little man who is fixing our house, started fixing our house.

Because so much has been going on, I feel a little life-vertigo, like no matter where I put my foot down, it will be the wrong location and everything might come toppling down. I am not saying this to sound dramatic, I just feel a bit disoriented. I don’t, however, feel stressed, though I must be because I woke up yesterday with this kink in a muscle in my back. Today it was worse. While we were walking the dogs this morning, Bec said that I have the most amazing ability to somatize my stress. I do. I would much rather have a sore muscle than to have some deadly illness like I had last winter.

I started running last winter with the intention of finishing the mini-marathon in Indy, but I got so sick I couldn’t keep running. My lungs were pissed and they were having no part of my exercising in the cold air. Well, I since have started running again, and I am up to running 4 miles at a 12-minute mile pace. I say that’s not too shabby for a fat kid. I was supposed to run this morning, but when I woke up at 5:30, it was dark outside so I slept until 6:30 and walked the dogs.

Since the last time I posted, I have taken a Nazarite Vow that will end when my dissertation is finished. I took it on my birthday, July 22, by shaving my head and spending the day relaxing and contemplating the parameters of the vow. I amended the original Jewish vow, so I am not only following it, but I also added some things of my own. For the next year and a half to two years, I am abstaining from anything containing grapes, wine, or raisins, all alcohol, cutting my hair, eating meat, caffeine, sugary foods. In the same time period, it is my goal to walk at least 5 miles each day, which can include the morning run.  I plan to start swimming three times a week next week, as well. It is also my goal to run a marathon before I turn 40. So far, I am doing pretty well with my goals, and I have been managing quite well abstaining. The side-perk is that I have lost 30-35 pounds.

I feel all rusty and weird writing. I am having a hard time being articulate and creative without feeling like I am forcing it. I guess this is why every writing book, every writer, says that writing should be something that we do every day. I suppose, too, I should actually write about the things I mentioned in the first paragraph, which is typically what one does when setting up a piece of writing. Introduction: body: conclusion.

I should start off by talking about my vacation with Merideth’s family. We stayed at Little Bear Lake Hideaway, and the lake was beautiful. I swam across it, kayaked around it, and ran or walked the road that circled it every day we were there. One day I even went around twice. Usually I was the first one up and out of the cabin, so I got to see the water all quiet and smooth before anyone else was awake to see it. The water was a clear green, and I could see my feet when I was standing up to my neck in the water. The water was also incredibly cold. Very cold. Numbingly cold.

The days went by quickly, too quickly. I could actually live up there on a lake if I could find a job that would sustain me. We went to Gaylord, the closest fairly large town, three times and ate lunch at three decent diners. We went to Lewiston and ate at Talley’s Bar, and Merideth and I went to a little bar by the Outpost for coffee while Josh got Merideth’s clothes ready to go to Mackinac Island.

On Wednesday, we went to the island, and all day Merideth kept talking about wishing she could stay at the Grand Hotel. Finally, when the kids got tired, we walked up to the hotel and pretended we were all going to look at the porch. Little did she know, but Merideth and Josh were staying at the hotel. And, she also didn’t know he was going to propose to her. He did, and she said yes. They are getting married next June 5, and I am performing their wedding on a beach in Florida.

When I got back from Michigan, Bec’s nephew, Jacob, came and stayed with us for two weeks. We painted the outside of the house, which still is not completed, and we pulled up the carpet in the downstairs. We had tons of good conversation, and Jacob cooked dinner for us a few times. The best part of his stay were his disc golf lessons.

Nearly every afternoon, Jacob and I walked down to McCullough Park and pitched some discs. For an hour and a half or so each day, we just chilled and threw discs … and occasionally went poo-diving. Poo-diving happens when someone throws a disc into the drainage channel that runs along the edge of the course. We call the channel, the poo channel, because it is one of the ones that may or may not contain sewage when the storm sewers overflow. I only had to go poo-diving once, but Jacob had to go several times. Yum.

Jacob and I removed the carpet from the downstairs while Dave, the little man that is fixing and rewiring our house, redid the ceiling in the living room. About two weeks ago, he told us that it would only take a couple more days to finish the work, but I think he bit off more than he thought he was biting off with our rewiring. It has been a huge project and most of it had to happen through the uninsulated attic, so for a few days he couldn’t do much because of the intense heat. I can tell you, though, that I am ready for it to be finished, so we can start putting our house back to normal. I want to bring my couch in from the porch.

I took my comps last week and will know by Labor Day whether or not I passed. I am not confident that I did. The hard part about thinking that I may have failed is that I also got a job teaching American Literature at Burris one period a day. If I don’t pass my comps, I don’t get to teach at Burris next semester. If I don’t get to teach there next semester, I lose my foot in the door. And, I want to teach middle school English there next year! I keep trying, in the spirit of my Nazarite vow, to let God be in control and to trust what [They] are doing, but that is so hard for me. It is hard for me to realize that I am not in control, that God is.

I suppose another major event in my life is that my pastor is leaving. Last Sunday was his last Sunday to speak. I was fine until at the end of his message he remarked that he had been at our church for five years, and that it had been a good five years. Then I cried. I cried pretty hard through the last worship set, and then again once it was over. Of course, he came over and harassed me, when I was reading my book to stop myself from crying more, by singing, “I have my books and my poetry to protect me; I am shielded in my armor, hiding in my room, safe within my womb. I touch no one and no one touches me. I am a rock, I am an island.” It’s true, but I am trying to become less of a rock, less of an island. I am trying hard to let people in. I suppose that is why my back has a huge knot in it.

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Posted in Beer, Dissertation, Fat, Food, Relationships, Religion, Running, School, Swimming, Teaching, Writing

Some Things Make No Sense

Posted on 4 June 2009 | 3 comments

Without wavering, I am pro-choice; however, I am in no way supportive of late-term abortion even though I know these abortions are only performed when two doctors agree that actually having the child will endanger the life of the mother. I think my inability to accept the late-term abortion lies in my struggle to believe that no doctor could tell there would be problems before the fetus is viable. Suddenly, at seven months there are problems enough to put the mother’s life in danger? And, I think my (probably unrealizable) desire to have a child interferes with my ability to be rational in this situation.

With that said, I am sad and disappointed at the death of Dr. Tiller. I am continually amazed at the way that people get so blind-sided by their agenda that they do things that seem to be completely incongruous with their agenda. For example, people who are pro-life killing someone because he did his job. What is even more sad to me is the fact that the anti-Tiller rhetoric has not stopped after his death. The man is dead, now, can we leave him alone? I am sure that the pro-life killer sees this as his mission in life, to stop Tiller from performing future abortions. Still this makes no sense to me. Of course, much of what the Christian right does makes no sense to me.

I am trying hard not to judge the killer, because he was obviously doing what he thought was right, just like Dr. Tiller was doing what he thought was right. In much the same way that Dr. Tiller had a family who loved and supported his work, I am sure his killer has a family that loves and supports him, too. These situations are the ones that cause me to consider some tough theological questions:

  • If God is good why is there such evil in the world?
  • If God is in control of all things, how do [They] let such things happen?
  • How can people rationalize killing a living breathing person, when they live their lives to protect the unborn?
  • Why do people act so irrationally?
  • How can I respond to such violent acts with a heart of grace and an attitude of mercy?

One of the other ideas I wrestle with is trying to understand how Christians ever expect to make an impact on this world when we can’t stop the arguing and fighting that goes on within our religion. I mean, Tiller was at church, serving as an usher, when he was killed! Of course, this internal conflict isn’t new; Paul and Barnabas, two of the first Christian theologians/missionaries split up over an even more insignificant conflict (Acts 15). I have often heard Christians complain about each other, and I have often complained about my conservative Christian friends/brothers and sisters in Christ. Why? Because my idea of what it means to be a Christian and how it looks to live that out doesn’t match theirs.

I will never understand the minds or the actions of conservative people, but I can do my part to recognize their role in the kingdom of heaven as it exists on earth. Maybe this rift is part of the already but not yet kingdom of God. We are already made one in Christ, but we cannot yet recognize our similarities and let them outweigh our differences. I may never pray the sinners’ prayer with someone. I will never go to a pro-life rally. I will never march against gay rights. And, I may never vote for a political candidate based on their commitment to Christian values, but I recognize that I need to give grace to those who do. Part of being a Christian, I suppose, is recognizing our differences and then realizing how God’s grace covers a multitude of sins. Mine and yours.

*

I got a volunteer job writing reviews for a Christian blogging site. I will be receiving a free new-publication book once a month, and, in return, I have to write a 500 word review of that book. My first one, A People’s History of Christianity by Diana Butler Bass, should be arriving shortly. I get three weeks to read it and post a review. I am excited about this opportunity because it has nothing to do with school and is an opportunity for me to read new theological/spiritual books and write about them purely for the enjoyment of doing so. I miss being immersed in the Church. Would I ever go back to working in a church? Yes, in a heartbeat.

*

The purging is going well. I am finding that the hardest things to stay away from are refined sugars and caffeine. I have never realized how hard it is to make food without white sugar, and to keep from drinking caffeinated beverages. I made a huge pitcher of sun tea the other day and forgot that green tea has caffeine in it. I was up until about one in the morning trying to fall asleep!

I am proud to say that I have had no alcohol for the past (almost) three weeks, and I don’t really have the desire for any. Obviously, I really enjoy trying new beers and new drinks, but I can definitely live without them!

I have been reading my bible, but I had to play catch up the other afternoon, because I forgot to read for a couple of days. I took a quilt out on the grass and relaxed in the sunshine while I read. That couple of hours was the most fulfilling afternoon I have had in a while.

Along with all of this purging, I have been thinking about running and much I miss it. I have been walking about 3-5 miles a day, but it is no substitute for running so I have decided to start running again when I get back from vacation. I hope to be able to run all year without getting sick so much over the winter. I think if I maintain my healthy diet, I will be able to achieve this goal. Sometimes I think the food we eat actually makes us sick, but that is for another blog.

*

I have been considering taking a Nazarite vow until I am finished with my PhD. While we are on vacation, I will be putting my brother’s hair into dreadlocks. He said that one of the people on the website where he bought his dread-kit decided to put his hair in dreads as part of a Nazarite vow. I respect that commitment. I know that commitment is part of Rastafarianism, which I also respect and am intrigued by because so much of Rasta theology seems right on. I especially like the part where we smoke ganjah as the healing of the nation! I tend to think that if everyone sat around smoking ganjah, or at least hookah, we’d have far fewer problems in this world.

So, I am thinking of taking this Christian, Nazarite vow on my birthday this year, my 35th birthday. I would cut my hair and then let it grow until I finish my PhD. I would abstain from alcohol, caffeine, meat, and sugars until I finish. That would be almost two years, and I didn’t even make it for a whole year the last time. The big plus is the commitment and the fact that I would read through the Bible two whole times during my vow. I am still thinking about it, but it seems like something that draws my spirit.

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Posted in Beer, Feminism, Food, Grace, Literature, Politics, Reading, Relationships, Religion, School

Reading. Baking. Flying. Grace.

Posted on 22 April 2009 | 1 comment

Tonight is our annual graduate student creative writing reading, Penscape. Wow! That is a mouthful. Anyway. I am reading along with nine or ten of my colleagues. It will be good. It has to be good. Each of us were asked to read for ten to twelve minutes. I am reading three flash nonfiction pieces, a letter, and a poem. Sort of a mixed bag. I hope people read somethings we all haven’t already read or heard. I always hate it when that happens. You workshop with people and then you get to hear all those same pieces again. I mean, it is pretty cool to see how they revised, but it isn’t cool if it is the same piece you already read.

Two nights ago I spent about four hours baking. One of my professor’s kids is severely allergic to everything. By everything I mean eggs, dairy, and nuts, so I had fun making many snacks that she could partake in. We are also having punch. You know that Hawaiian Punch, Ginger Ale, Sherbet fiasco that they serve at every gathering everywhere until people are old enough to drink beer. That’s the punch! I think there will be some coffee too.

I think the baking runs in the genes, because my mom is baking her fool head off this afternoon. One of her friends asked her to make cookies to use as the favors for her wedding. My mom is making 150 chocolate chip cookies and 150 peanut butter cookies. Right now.

Tomorrow we leave to go to Minneapolis for Andy and Claire’s wedding. Not only do I get to leave Muncie for a few days, I get to spend it with people I don’t see very frequently. I don’t like to fly. I will never fly on United again. It is official: they are charging fat people more for their seats.

I am working on some new writing. Trying to write an essay about grace is hard. Really. Hard. I am going to ask people to post their most grace-filled moments as responses on a special post here. Maybe I will tell them they can send them by email, too. But I want this essay to reflect all types of faiths and non-faiths and the way they exhibit grace. I know what grace should look like in a Christian ethic. I wonder what it looks like in the secular world for people who don’t share my beliefs. I mean I know some stories, but I hope that people will share theirs.

Also, my dissertation has taken on new form. I hope to write about the preaching woman, the food-serving woman, and the way they both implement a certain morality or ethic of grace and redemption in slave-narratives. Every time I articulate my ideas they become more concrete. which makes me happy. Now to press on and find the “so-what” in that, Lauren.

Flexibility. Ah.

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Posted in Beer, CNF, Dissertation, Feminism, Food, Grace, Literature, Reading, Religion, School, Writing

Honky Tonk and Midas Touch

Posted on 1 April 2009 | 5 comments

Last Saturday morning, my brother and I got up at 5:30 in the morning in order to drive 6.5 hours to Nashville, TN. We forgot about the time change, which means we could have slept until 6:30. We are both still alive despite getting up before the sun.

Our first stop in Nashville was Opry Mills mall, near Opryland and the Grand Ole Opry. We saw the Operahouse and the hotel from a distance, and I was impressed by their grandeur. I was more impressed with the restaurant that we ate at: Aquarium Restaurant. The middle of the building was a huge aquarium with 7-inch thick glass walls. The restaurant employs five marine biologists who feed the fish, take care of the tank, and who provide educational programming at the sting-ray pool next door.

This is where it got exciting: I got to feed and pet live sting-rays! Most people who know me understand how much I love rays, so this was like a dream come true. I expected rays to feel like sharks or dolphins, but their skin is rubbery and slick. They seemed to have their own individual personalities as they came to the edge of the pool to take the shrimp from our hands. I was never brave enough to hold onto the shrimp long enough to feel the ray take it, but my brother got a huge hickie on his knuckle from the suction of the ray’s mouth.

When we got to downtown Nashville, we drove through the city to get acquainted with the roads and to sort of acclimate to the way the city was situated. Once we dropped everything off at our hotel, we were shuttled back downtown and told to call by 10:30 in order to get a ride back for free. After 10:30, we would have to pay for a taxi. We started off by just walking around and looking at souvenir shops, passing by the bars, and discovering the oddities of the town.

Saturday our first stop was Fort Nashborough. I think I would have liked to live there, then. On our way back to 2nd street from the fort, we passed by Coyote Ugly, and although I wanted to go in, we thought better of it. We then went to a bar called the Stage on Broadway. No cover charge. $14 for a Maker’s and Coke and a Jack and Coke. There was the cover charge. The Stage was next door to Jack’s Bar-B-Que where we went for dinner. We stood in line for what seemed like forever, and the barbecue was good so it wasn’t disappointing.  That night we ended up at the Big Bang, a dueling piano bar. I had a first gin and tonic and a Sam Adam’s Lager. Adam had a gin and tonic and a martini, then he sang ALL of Vanilla Ice’s Ice Ice Baby with the pianist. It only would have been better if he could have gone up on stage.

On Sunday, we got up early and went across the street to Starbucks for breakfast. Our first stop was the Parthenon, which was closed on Sundays. Of course, none of our tourist information told us it was closed, because we would have gone there on Saturday when we first got to Nashville. So, we walked around the perimeter and then headed back to buy the souvenirs/gifts we wanted. For lunch, we went to the Nashville Farmer’s Market and had braised oxtail, pineapple sweet potatoes, fried plantains, johnny cakes, and ginger beer at a restaurant called Jamaicaway. We then explored the market/flea market and bought a few things at their International Market. After that we went back to the hotel for a few minutes, then headed back downtown to the Frist Center for the Visual Arts . That Sunday was family day, so admission was free and there were people dressed in Medeival dress to celebrate the opening of an exhibit of Medieval art that was on loan from the Cleveland Museum of Art. The best exhibit was a collaborative exhibit with a local homeless shelter. When we left Frist, we went to the Stage again. I had a $4 Pabst Blue Ribbon, and we listened to a band that was pretty bad for about an hour while we killed time before we were supposed to meet for our ghost tour. We chose to go on the Haunted Tavern Tour. We visited three pubs: Past Present, McFaddin’s, and Buffalo Billiards. I think we had drinks at two of them, and there was no “ghost tour discount.” Certainly, Nashville makes their money by charging too much for beer. After walking all over Nashville, we finished out the night at Big River Brewery with nachos and salads. Big River reminded me a lot of Rock Bottom Brewery in Indianapolis. The food was good. We were exhausted.

When Monday morninng came, we had to say good-bye. Sadly. We got up early and went out of Nashville to Loveless Cafe where, song of the south, I had BBQ for breakfast! Talk about my fantasy come true. After I ordered my breakfast, I sort of worried for a minute that it would be some lame-ass breakfast barbecue, but when our waitress brought it out nestled between two soft-fried eggs on two tiny corn pancakes, I was pleased as punch to see that it was genuine pulled-pork BBQ! I have never had such a delicious breakfast. Grits, BBQ, biscuits, and eggs. Completed only with a nice, steaming mug of coffee. On our way home we stopped at Jungle Jim’s to look around. We bought a few things and then headed to Indy to get Adam’s computer. By the time he dropped me off at my house at 8:30 or 9, I was beat. I fell asleep pretty quickly and woke up sick.

One of the things I bought at Jungle Jim’s was beer. I know you are surprised. I got five porters and a Dogfish Head ale. Last night I drank the first two with some of Bec’s homemade spaghetti sauce. While I was gone, she made beef potpies and spaghetti sauce. Am I lucky woman or what?! Anyway, I had Dead Reckoning Porter by Troegs Brewery. It was dark with a nice cream-colored head that faded pretty quickly. The flavor was dark with a little hint of coffee and a little bite. It wasn’t my favorite, but it wasn’t my least favorite either. I am not sure what some people at Beer Advocate were drinking, but I am pretty sure it wasn’t the same beer I had. One guy said the head was long-lasting. Mine faded after about five minutes. The other beer I had is one of my new favorites: Dogfish Head’s Midas Touch. It has a nice pour, with a pure white head on top of nice, bright yellow lacey body. The head fades really quickly, and you are left with the bubbly goodness of muscat grapes, honey, barley, and saffron. You can definitely taste the grapes, which made this beer more like a mead. Fine with me. Yum.

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Posted in Beer, Food, Just for Fun, Relationships, Winter Weather