Category Archives: Just for Fun

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

I am over the rainbow. This school is like Oz. There is a wicked witch who has evil flying monkeys and drones who say, almost audibly, “All we are, we owe her.” I am not sure that is really what the drones say as they march around the witch’s castle, but they are sure as hell happy when Dorothy frees them. Does anyone have a bucket of water, ’cause I’m ready to melt me a witch! This school is also Oz-like because the munchkins are fantastic; I have a few that might belong to the Lollipop Guild.

I stole this metaphor from the new math guy. He jokingly told his mother that he was going to buy ruby slippers to wear to school because Burris is like the Land of Oz. Though he isn’t going to do it, I think I am going to buy a pair of red shoes to wear to school. I think I am going to like him, but I can never remember his name. We are both here at school today, working on Sunday, trying to get our classroom plans in order. We both decided to take it day by day for this first full week and pass out the syllabi next Monday. I am going to make the nuts and bolts syllabi for my classes with the expectations outlined, and the general rules and practical bits. Then I am going to give them the year-long, or semester-long schedules next Monday.

I ran twelve miles today in preparation for the marathon. I think by the time November rolls around I will be ready for this. I am a little sore today, but still mobile. I have been having some serious doubts about my ability to last for 26.2 miles, but I am more nervous that I will be too slow and get scooped up by the medical wagon. If that happens, I’ll probably die. Today went well, but slow. I also have to keep reminding myself that I still have 76 days left to train for this. That’s twelve weeks or three months. As long as I can keep some semblance of a schedule, I can do this. As long as I get up early to do the runs, my body will respond. I know this in my head, but sometimes my bed feels so good at 5AM!

Leah finally sent me pictures from Mer’s wedding. Here are Merideth and I. There are at least six pictures of us, and this is the only decent one.

It was a little bright (and really fucking hot) on the beach.

This is what I want my wedding reception to look like. We had an absolute blast!

What else is new? I am trying to jog my mind to think of things, but nothing is coming. I suppose I should stop writing here and work on my syllabi.

Roadtrip: Food and Sights

It’s been such a whirlwind since I got back to Muncie last Sunday, I almost forgot to write about the trip. Of course, the best part of the trip was the food, so I will start with the amazing restaurants we went to in both Nebraska and Minnesota. I’ll talk a bit about running in Woods Park, and a bit more about the things I learned on the trip (e.g. that the big ball of twine is simply that).

When we arrived in Lincoln, Sarah had made homemade vegan tamales and mole for us. It wasn’t lost on me how much of a sacrifice it was for her to make such an amazing meal, and tamales are my single favorite Mexican food. They are never vegan in restaurants; in fact, Sarah’s grandma said that tamales aren’t real when they are vegetarian. They may not have been considered “real” by Mexican standards, but to me they were simply perfect. I loved every bite of every one I ate, mostly because they were made with love.

The next day we went to a place called Maggie’s and had the most delicious vegan wraps, which were washed down with various sodas we’d purchased at Rocket Fizz. My lunch was a coconut curry tofu wrap and a Faygo Rock-n-rye, and both were delicious. We also got muffins for a snack, and they were good too. Once we finished our wraps, we went across the street to a coffee shop called The Mill and I had their Creole Lait, which was a blend of espresso, chickory, and soy milk. Yummy goodness. Sarah and I piece-mealed dinner while Kellie and Daniel went to Daniel’s class.

On Tuesday, I made breakfast with Kellie’s help. We had a filling combination of vegan sweet potato waffles with toasted pecan “butter” and vegan breakfast sausage. I am not sure what was for lunch that day, or if we just lounged around and ate at our own leisure, but for dinner we went to Yia Yia’s Pizza. Sarah and I split a vegan pizza: spinach and zucchini on my half, spinach and olives on her half, and vegan cheese on the whole thing. Kellie and Daniel had the American (bbq sauce, chicken, corn, jalapeños, and vegan cheese on half). The amazing thing about the soy (vegan) cheese was the fact that it actually melted. It was stringy and stretchy like real cheese. Now I am on a quest for delicious fake cheese.

On Monday and Tuesday, I woke up at 6:00 AM to run in Woods Park. The trail went past several different pieces of artwork, a business that looked like a strange doctor’s office, some basketball courts, some tennis courts, and last but not least, an uh-maz-ing public pool. It was a 50 meter pool with 8 lanes, a separate diving well, and a smaller warm up pool. Seriously, it was a perfect way for me to start my day. I got to watch the club teams practice and the lifeguards get the pool ready for the business day. It almost inspired em to start swimming two days a week in the fall. I think I can do that on Monday and Wednesday, but we’ll have to see once school starts.

Wednesday morning brought the twelve-hour car ride to the ball of twine, via the Malcolm X birth site memorial in Omaha. Here is Sarah’s love letter to the ball of twine (it’s the bottom one):

And here is the strangely worded Malcolm X sign:This car ride also resulted in Kellie’s GPS being named Marvelle, but I won’t tell you the story. Some things must remain on the road trip.

When we arrived in Minnesota, Ann and Jack were already asleep, so we snuck (sneaked?) into the house like little mice. The next we called Ico to meet with her and we were off! For lunch we went to one of my favorite types of restaurants, Tibetan. We had two types of curry and some fucking-hot noodles. They were deliciously hurty on the tongue. After the Tibetan food, we went to a coffee shop that has become Ico’s favorite. It was passable. My drink was fine, but not exceptional, and Kellie’s was strange and unusual and not in a good way like Lydia on Beetlejuice. Ico loved hers, so maybe we were just flakey. Or maybe I was just expecting something other than what I got. At any rate, when we finished the coffee, we embarked on the ridiculousness that is the Mall of America. We ended the night at the Bulldog with Ann and Jack. I love the Bulldog, except the prices. They have Hacker-Pschorr Dark. I can never find that particular H-P beer here in Indiana, so it’s a nice little treat in the Twin Cities.

On Friday, we had a cookout with Andy, Claire, Tim, and Whit at Ann and Jack’s house. Everyone came, and Ico’s sister Sen made Raspberry Tiramisu cupcakes that were to die for good. But, the most amazing food moment of the vacation was at Evergreen on Eat Street (Nicollet) in Minneapolis. I was a little nervous going there because I typically do not like mock-meat. I generally believe that when you are vegan, your goal should not be to figure out ho to make meatless meat, but this restaurant changed my life. It should be called Life-Change Cantonese instead of Evergreen Cantonese. We had two mock-meat dishes and a veggie dish. All three were fantastic: the mock-meat actually tasted and felt like the real thing, but not in too creepy of a way. Kellie had a chicken dish that she thoroughly enjoyed. The spices and herbs were just right, and the service was great. They had bubble tea, and vegan hot and sour soup. Seriously, does it get any better than mock-beef with lemongrass and peppers? We also went to Smitten Kitten. Interesting.

On Saturday, we drove back to Lincoln and had dinner at the Blue Orchid Thai restaurant. It was pretty tasty, but they need some serious attention to be paid to their wait staff. I have had better service at Abercrombie & Fitch or Hollister and I can’t even wear their clothes. On Sunday, we drove back to Indiana and stopped at a little Mexican restaurant somewhere in Illinois. It was good, but it only served to make me miss Sarah and her tamales. Finally, we ended the trip with pizza from T-Dubs here in Muncie. Kellie loves their pizza, but it has a bit too much garlic for my liking. For some reason, garlic tears me up. Their breadsticks are pretty fine, though. I’d eat them again, and I love supporting a local business with my pizza habits.

The Naked Gospel by Andrew Farley

The Naked Gospel: The Truth You May Never Hear in Church by Andrew Farley begins with an epigraph by Arthur Bury from 1691, making the claim that the naked gospel “was the gospel which our Lord and his apostles preached,” which is what I expected this book to do. I expected to read a new take on Jesus theology, in which I would learn a bit more about what Jesus said and did and the ways in which those actions were revolutionary. I would have loved this book if that had been what it really did. What I got instead was a whole different story involving Paul, a Jew who supposedly grew to have no use for his traditional religious upbringing, and those people who came after Paul who also saw no need for relationship with the Jewish Scriptures. How, can I ask, does this present “the gospel which our Lord and his apostles preached”? Instead, possibly the epigraph should have been a quote from Origen who thought that Paul “taught the Church which he had gathered from among the Gentiles how to understand the books of the Law” and then ignore them. It seems as if Farley spends quite a bit of time discussing Paul and Paul’s aversion to his own tradition, which doesn’t seem like a Naked Gospel, but more of an interrogation of Paul. That being said, this book isn’t all bad; it just wasn’t what I expected.

Farley provides an excellent critique of our desire to remain staid in our own complacent following of hollow rules that we perceive make us good Christians. However, I am not sure that early Christians would agree with his reading of the meaning of old and new and the ways that he argues Christians are called to live a new life without considering the laws or the Jewish Scriptures. It makes no sense to advocate the very heavy disregard for the early Christians’ previous religious experience, especially because there is substantial evidence to the contrary. In fact, the very people Farley discusses—Peter, Paul, and the other apostles—did not leave the Jewish faith. They merely reconfigured their previous beliefs to fit with their newly acquired faith in Jesus as the Messiah. Particularly, Matthew adheres to his Jewish roots as he tried to convince both Gentiles and Jews that Jesus is the Messiah. Making such an adamant break from discussing Jewish traditions and religion is a major weakness of Farley’s text. I do agree with his assessment that Christians need to learn to avoid “the painful symptoms of un-necessary religion” (31), but does this need to be done by completely breaking away from tradition or previous manifestations of religious worship? I think not. Even Paul, who Farley quotes sometimes very out of context, references his own religious and secular traditions as well as the religious and secular leaders of his time.

The main tenet that Farley proposes with which I agree is the idea that we are free from sin. We are always already forgiven, and too many Christians don’t realize it. They are crippled by the perceived necessity to keep accounts of their sins and to compulsively ask forgiveness for those sins, sometimes to the point of unhealthy self-reflectivity and analysis. I love the song “Everything Glorious” by David Crowder Band, because it makes this claim so well. I think Farley is getting at the same question as Crowder: “You make everything glorious and I am Yours, so what does that make me?” According to Farley, “It’s important to understand that we’re joined to the risen Christ, not to a dead religious teacher” (180). I would even take this a step further and say that we are the risen Christ. Whatever is to be done on this earth now, is to be done through us as we are the manifestation of the work that Jesus did on the cross. We are required to be Christ to people: “Genuine growth occurs as we absorb truth about who we already are and what we already possess in Christ” (187). I concur.

In short, I liked this book because it challenges several commonly held beliefs in contemporary Christianity, such as the idea that we have to change who we are to be perfect Christians. As Farly writes, “Having Christ live through you is really about knowing who you are and being yourself. Since Christ is your life, your source of true fulfillment, you’ll only be content when you are expressing him” (194). I agree but my main complaints about this book can speak directly to this idea: what if the way you experience Christ living through you includes a love for and an adherence to those “Old Testament” ideas that he claims are null and void? Can we really claim that the naked gospel is a gospel void of any sense of tradition or Jewish scripture, relying solely on tradition and reason to inform our actions as Christians? I don’t think so. I don’t think this is really “Jesus plus nothing.” It’s more like Jesus nothing with a heaping helping of misread Paul. I would recommend this book, simply so people could wrestle through all of these ideas as Farley adeptly challenges the reader to think critically about a variety of ideas.

You can read this and other reviews of the same book at Viral Bloggers.

Thanks, Pittsburgh Pirates.

Dear Pittsburgh Pirates,

Thanks for being in last place in the National League. I feel very good about myself for choosing to be a fan of your team this year. My self-esteem needed this boost, and I am sure yours did too. Could you try hard not to completely suck for the rest of this year? If Baltimore ends up with a better record than you do, we’re through.

Sincerely,

A Newly Devoted Fan

Things I Am Afraid Of or My Phobias

The title of this post sounds a bit like an essay that I would never assign to any of my critical writing classes, but it is one that I would assign every semester to any creative writing class I might teach. I think this is a fascinating topic for many reason. One: I think our phobias say a lot about who we are. Two: By writing about our phobias, we get to explore not only what we are afraid of, but also why we are afraid of it. Three: Who doesn’t love delving a little bit deeper into her own psyche just to find out that the irrational fears she faces everyday are possibly very rational. Here are my phobias that I would like to one day write about:

  1. Haphephobia: A fear of being touched—I don’t liked to be touched for pretty much any reason. I don’t like to hug people or to have them walk up next to me and put their arms around me. So, if you have ever received a hug from me, consider your self lucky.
  2. Vaccinophobia: A fear of vaccinations—I think vaccinations are a ridiculous waste of time and money. We have diseases for natural population control, and we have vaccinations so large pharmaceutical companies can make money. Plain as that.
  3. Scatophobia: A fear of fecal matter—I don’t mind my own poop, but yours better not come near me. Also, I have a dog who I think is scatophobic because he literally runs away from his poop every morning.
  4. Pnigophobia or Pnigerophobia: Fear of choking of being smothered—This actually also extends out into a fear of drowning. Really I am afraid of not being able to breathe: drowning, choking, asthma, suffocation, or strangling.
  5. Nyctohylophobia: Fear of dark wooded areas or of forests at night—This actually has more to do with a fear I used to have when I had my Jeep. Whenever I would have all the windows and doors off, I was always afraid a deer would jump in when I was driving past a cornfield. It would then proceed to bite me in the next or hoof me to death. Since I love to camp, I think my fear has more to do with the deer.
  6. Gephyrophobia or Gephydrophobia or Gephysrophobia: Fear of crossing bridges—This only applies to really high bridges in interstates: The Chicago Skyway, a bridge in Milwaukee, the bridge to South Padre, one in Corpus Christi, and one in Dayton.
  7. Emetophobia- Fear of vomiting—Seriously, I will bargain with God to keep from throwing up. Ew.
  8. And, probably my most serious fear whose name I cannot locate: falling through the upstairs  floor into the level below—When I lived in an apartment on any floor but the first, sometimes I would have difficulty falling to sleep at night because I would worry about my bed (with me in it) falling through the floor into the apartment below. I would imagine myself waking up in the first floor apartment with its inhabitants staring at me. Now, since our bedroom is just above the dining room table, I think that the bed might fall through and land on the table and then the whole lot of us will end up in the basement with the cat litter pans. Ugh.

So goes my list of irrational fears.

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I am thankful for people who understand my idiosyncrasies.

Food: I ate everything in sight. It happens on the first day of, and the few days leading up to, your period. Sue me.

Exercise: See above sentence. I was too lethargic to exercise. Tomorrow, though, I am going to kick the heck out of five miles.