This time last year I had just finished the Muncie 70.3 Half Ironman, and I weighed 190 pounds.
This time this year, I just finished a 3.3 mile walk that felt like a Half Ironman, and I weigh 240 pounds.
In November of 2011 when I changed my diet to paleo for the first time, I felt so good I swore I’d never stop it. But I did; in fact, I sort of reversed it, making up for all the time I’d lost for eating bread and other things that aren’t so good for me. Then in November of 2013 when I got plantar fasciitis in my left foot, I stopped running. Then in May 2014 when I hurt my knee running at the Mounds, I stopped running again.
In the process I made myself back into a woman who takes an hour to walk 3 miles and who weighs 240 pounds.
Here I am again. Right back where I didn’t want to be. Super fat and not so sassy.
I’m hurt by and angry with and disappointed in no one but myself. What now? I do what I do when I am faced with the consequences of my own bad decisions: I give myself grace.
Here I am today, July 17 at 240 pounds and way out of shape:
Here is the route I walked today.
They say that whatever you’re doing, whatever your fitness and diet patterns are, whatever is important for you, and whatever your mind set is on your 40th birthday are all good indicators of how you’ll live out the rest of your life. My 40th birthday is next Tuesday, and I want to live well.
Here’s to a successful recovery. Again.
Posted in Birthday Crisis, Cooking, Fat, Fitness, Food, Goals, Grace, Health, Mental Health, Paleo/Primal, Summer, Walking, Wellness
Tagged 40, Aging, Eat, Eating, Exercise, Fat, Food, Forty, Grace, Health, Overweight, Paleo, Primal, Recovery, Walking, Weight, Weight Loss, Wellness
Well, since I do this honest, tell-all thing, I will say that I started my period today, and I ate like a woman who started her period today. Here’s breakfast. In the cup is a venti coffee (black). In the empty container was Greek yogurt, raw honey, blackberries, gluten-free granola, and coconut flakes. Obviously when I remembered to eat take the picture, I had already enjoyed the delicious, creamy yogurt concoction.
I ate my lunch in spurts today, but that’s what I do. I had peanut-less mixed nuts (pretend the almonds below are those), some Cadbury mini eggs, a bit of Trader Joe’s Cowboy Bark (not pictured) an orange, and a banana. See, like a women on her period. Fat, sassy, and chocolatey.
Finally, dinner was amazing, if I do say so myself. We had a faculty meeting after school today. I’m growing weary of realigning the curriculum every year, when we really don’t realign the curriculum, but simply report on the curriculum we’re already doing . Today we talked about grammar, which was frustrating to me in light of this article. When I got home, though, I was starving, and my hunger was likely due to the fact that I didn’t make my sandwich for lunch, because I got up late. For dinner I had red cabbage slaw and a burger with provolone, a duck egg, bacon, and carmelized onion.
To top off the evening, I had the Episcopal Church in pints: a Wee Mac Scotch Ale and a Brownslane English Cider. What a great way to end the day! Whee!
How do you feel? you may ask. Fat. Bloated. Crampy. I just want my pants to fit again. This time last year, I was a full 30 pounds lighter than I am right now. I chalk it up to stress, since I eat my feelings. And I chalk it up to less exercise, since it’s been so cold. Other than feeling fat, though, I feel fine. Do I feel like an athlete? Not really. Do I feel like I could run a marathon? No. Do I feel like I can get back on track? Yeah, and I feel as if I have, except the Cadbury eggs!
Posted in Beer, Cider, Coffee, Cooking, Easter, Fat, Food, Goals, PBJ, What I Ate Wednesday
Tagged Beer, Cadbury Eggs, Chocolate, Cider, Cole Slaw, Cooking, Crispin, Eat, Eating, Food, Hamburger, Wee Mac