Category Archives: Relationships

Once a week. On Sunday.

Posted on 23 January 2011 | 1 comment

I get a poem from The Academy of American Poets delivered to my inbox once a day. Sometimes the daily poems are beautiful. Sometimes they are not. One of this week’s poems is exceptionally beautiful.

Rime Riche
by Monica Ferrell

You need me like ice needs the mountain
On which it breeds. Like print needs the page.
You move in me like the tongue in a mouth,
Like wind in the leaves of summer trees,
Gust-fists, hollow except for movement and desire
Which is movement. You taste me the way the claws
Of a pigeon taste that window-ledge on which it sits,
The way water tastes rust in the pipes it shuttles through
Beneath a city, unfolding and luminous with industry.
Before you were born, the table of elements
Was lacking, and I as a noble gas floated
Free of attachment. Before you were born,
The sun and the moon were paper-thin plates
Some machinist at his desk merely clicked into place.

My favorite lines, “Before you were born, the table of elements/Was lacking, and I as a noble gas floated/Free of attachment,” remind me of myself before I met Bec. I just sort of floated around, not really caring much about anyone other than myself. I suppose enjoying freedom doesn’t necessarily mean I didn’t care about other people. I cared about other people, just not enough to be stable or devoted. I was pretty ridiculous. And I was totally fine with the ridiculousness of being unattached. It wasn’t as if I was looking for someone to attach myself to. And, sometimes I wonder if I am still not a bit of a noble gas. It’s a good thing Bec is so understanding of my noble gas-ness.

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Posted in Literature, Relationships

Quite An Excellent Day With Amy and At Church.

Posted on 9 January 2011 | 2 comments

Today I met Amy at the worst Starbucks in the Midwest. If you are ever traveling across I-70, never, I mean never, stop a the Starbucks in Richmond, Indiana just off of I-70 on US-40. You’ll wait forever, and your coffee will be substandard. I have to admit, though, that today my Americano was tasty, and Amy’s cappuccino actually looked like a cappuccino. Well, at least it did until she put in the sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg and made the top part of the foam all pocked and strange. The Mexican restaurant on that exit is delicious and it’s where we usually have lunch or dinner when we meet. Next time, we’re meeting in Indy at Peppy Grill, so there’ll be a bite more to do than walk around the tiny mall and hang out at Starbucks. It’d be sweet if Becs would come along, too, so we can all hang out together for a change.

Amy and I had one of the best times we’ve had recently, in my opinion. Lots of honest conversation. Lots of laughing about stupid things. And shopping at Goodwill on 99 cent Sunday. We didn’t find anything worthwhile, although I did have to restrain myself from buying (count them) three different White Trash Nativity Scenes.I already have around 40 of them in my collection, one of which is missing its Baby Jesus, because the cats just keep stealing him, manger and all, and hiding him somewhere. It’s sad, really, the way Mary and Joseph continue to sit there staring at a place where Baby Jesus should be. All the while he is probably in the duct work, or in the basement, or inside of one of the couches. Who knows? But they remain vigilant in their never-ending pose of parental adoration. Sad. The other excellent part of the day today was that Matt, our preacher at Commonway, spoke about the book of Lamentations in the message this morning. He talked about how we need to stop looking back on our lives, wishing for the “good old days.” Instead we need to plant ourselves in our realities and spread roots. We need to be hopeful within the situations we find ourselves in. In other words, we need to stop wishing to be in other places in other times, and we need to ground ourselves where we are. At first I was a little resistant to the message, but then I realized that was probably because he was talking to me in a lot of ways. And using my favorite book of the Bible to do it. Good stuff.

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Posted in Christmas, Coffee, Food, Grace, Relationships, Religion

Seeing the Old Lady

Posted on 8 January 2011 | 2 comments

Grams is in the hospital again, and she seems to be getting better because she was her same old, mean self that she can be. She hadn’t been eating, and when we got there the nurse seemed very concerned and explained to Mom that Grams simply would not eat. She also wouldn’t let them draw blood. Apparently, she smacked two phlebotomists and tried to bite a nurse. Not bad defense skills for an almost (12 days away) 87-year-old lady. What I thought was amazing was the nurse’s reaction. She simply said, “I think it was just all the people coming in and out because she’s been just fine when I am the only one taking care of her. She’s been really sweet.” Of course, my mom snorted, because since when has my grandma been sweet to anyone? Anyway, I took this picture of her in the hospital after she got more blankets, because she was “freezing.” Of course she was. There’s nothing left of her!

On the way back from the hospital, Mom and I went a little bit north to go to a new 100% vegan restaurant, called Loving Cafe, that I’ve heard rave reviews about. The original one is in Cincinnati, but they recently put one in Fort Wayne. I had Sesame Chickenless, a spring roll, a summer roll, and a chocolate chocolate chip cupcake. All vegan. Delicious!

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Posted in Food, Relationships, Vegetarian or Vegan

You Are Beautiful

Posted on 3 January 2011 | Leave a comment

I met some friends at Peppy Grill in Indianapolis the other day. What a different place in the middle of the day! Instead of the gay men coming from the Metro and the club kids coming from other hot night spots, there was a random collection of blue collar workers, professionals, families, and semi-homeless or homeless people. I suppose it makes perfect sense that Peppy’s would appeal to different types of people. They serve greasy-spoon diner, also known as down-home, food at a very low price. My friends and I had way more than we could eat and our bill was only $30. We also had about three hours of excellent conversation.

On a side note, one thing I was reminded of during this break is the fact that I thrive when I participate in intellectual conversation. The more lost I feel in the midst of it, the better I feel afterward. I get a little lost in what I am learning from friends sometimes, and it thrills me!

Anyway, back to my story: on my way home, I went through the neighborhood around Peppy Grill (Fountain Square) a bit before just settling into the long drive ahead of me. I was pleasantly surprised when I looked up at the top of this building and saw a message, one that I interpreted as being just for me. I wasn’t feeling particularly ugly, but what a positive and lively message of encouragement to be found on top of a building in the middle of a city! I need to purchase a decent camera. I guess that’s on my wish list.

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Posted in Food, Grace, Relationships

A New Year. New Goals.

Posted on 2 January 2011 | Leave a comment

2011. For it’s ability to bring hope and fresh passion to an otherwise apathetic and decaying culture, I embrace the celebration of the new year. I understand that we might experience failures in the new year; we are a fallen people. This is no longer Eden. However, the festivity of New Year’s Eve and the solemnity with which people make vows, create resolutions, and set goals that theoretically will make them better people makes me know that each new year brings restored passion and compassion. There’s hope in the air. People have faith that this year will somehow be better than last. And, we give forgiveness for those failures we’ve previously experienced. Presumably, our goal is to make ourselves better this year. Here are my goals for this year. They’re not much different than last, but they attempt to take what I have been trying to do and to do it better.

  1. Read. Both the bible and other books. Hopefully a little bit of each, each day. Watch less television, even though I already don’t watch much. It’s amazing to me how productive I can be when I don’t watch the television. I will however watch Bones and Big Love.
  2. Run. Every day except Sunday. My goal is to run three miles a day on Monday through Thursday. On Friday, I’ll run two miles, and on Saturdays at least six miles. I also plan to add some other types of exercise. I want to finish two marathons: my own Ivanhoe’s Marathon and the Towpath Marathon.
  3. Eat. Only food I can recognize as food. I want to remain vegan, but I want to narrow this down a bit more and eat only whole foods, such as beans, rice, vegetables, and the like. Cut out processed foods and sugars.
  4. Dissertate. Two chapters. I want to finish two chapters of my dissertation this summer, and I have set forth a plan to make this happen.
  5. Teach. To the best of my abilities. Love each student. Be firm with each student. Guide each student to his or her highest potential. Be more diligent in grading.
  6. Attitude. Change it. I need to work on being more relaxed and carefree. I need to talk less and listen more. I need to remember that I don’t always have to be right. Loving people is more important than anything else. My stress level is through the roof, and I need to remember that the only person I have to please is God. What this means and where this will take me, I don’t know, but I am open to doing whatever it is I am supposed to do. I would just like to know what that is!

I am also working on an art/writing project. Once I get it going and hammer it out, I will post a link to the ongoing project. I am pretty excited about it.

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Posted in Dissertation, Fat, Food, Goals, Gym, Reading, Relationships, Religion, Running, School, Teaching, Vegetarian or Vegan