Surely, it would be funnier if I was really doing this (running through Bracken), but I am not. I am sitting quite sedately on the same chair that I have been sitting on for hours here at Bracken library. I have completed yet another one of my many tasks. Since I just sent my stuff to Hailey, now all I have to do is my book club stuff, and start my paper for Victorian literature. I just looked at the clock and I have literally been sitting here for close to four hours. I am trying to decide right now whether I want to sit here for another four to finish my book club stuff, or maybe I should go home and get up in the morning and do it. Augh! It is like it never ends.
We went running again tonight and it was really nice. The sunset had just begun as we leaving the house and it is the perfect temperature for running/jogging/barely moving faster than walking. I wish I could live somewhere that was fall all year ’round. I love everything about it. I love that it makes me want to move around and be lively.
I was thinking today about God, shocking I know, and I wonder sometimes what God thinks about what we think about [Them]? Does God invest as much in wondering what we think as we do in wondering what [They] think? I mean so much ink is spilled about Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Jewish, Hindu, etc. topics. Does God hang out up there, out there, around there thinking I wonder what those little humans think of me? I know, God’s omniscient, right? But what if not, does the being that created this mess wonder what we’re up to at all ever? It sort of reassures me to think about this from time to time. I mean God can’t be omniscient if [They] couldn’t find Adam and Eve in the garden after they sinned. Even so, I think it might be kind of neat to have a God that is concerned with our thoughts about [Them]—little disconcerting given our recent actions about God, and a little upsetting given some of the current conversations going on about God. You have to think sometimes that God is laughing at our insanity: what in the world are they doing now?
We think, many times, that we are so advanced, so technologically savvy, so beyond everything, that looking at something as complex as a spider’s web isn’t awe inspiring anymore. We have lost so much of that awe. We have traded in awe for mild amusement, if we even notice. I think God is saddened by that cheapening, but I think [They] also just laugh at us: “You were given the most beautiful amazing creation, and you thought you had to create more to be satisfied. The answer was always already me.” I think that is God’s love song to us: “The answer was always already me.”
I had to do some research for a presentation about Calvinism, and I still don’t think I fully understand grace. I need to read If Grace Is True: Why God Will Save Every Person by Phillip Gulley and James Mulholland. Their general premise is that God saves everyone; that if grace is true, why is there a hell? I think I am starting to wonder the same things. Why is there a hell? Is there really? In the Jewish Scriptures there is no concept of hell as we know it, so where did our definition of hell originate? If grace is true, why would we need a hell? I need to read the book. “The answer was always already me.”
Clothing/Uniforms and Race In Braithwaite
Braithwaite. E.R. To Sir, with Love. NewYork: Jove, 1977.
—–. A Kind of Homecoming. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall, 1962.
—–. Paid Servant. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1968.
—–.Choice of Straws. Indianapolis: Bobs-Merrill, 1966.
—–. Reluctant Neighbors. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1972.
—–. “Honorary White”: A Visit to South Africa. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1975.
Selvon, Sam. The Lonely Londoners. New York: Longman, 1989.
For this project I intend to discuss E.R. Braithwaite’s construction of racial identity. I would like to investigate the general feeling of race during the 1950 in London through other novels such as The Lonely Londoners. My point in doing this is two-fold: (1) I think Braithwaite is trying to say something different than Selvon, and (2) I think both writers effectively pull the American ideas of race into their discussions of British racial tension.
In To Sir with Love Braithwaite writes: “I had just been brought face to face with something I had either forgotten or completely ignored for more than six exciting years—my black skin” (37). Not only did Braithwaite skin color somehow get masked by his R.A.F. uniform, but this was an exciting time in his life. The six years in his life when he was able to forget that he was black are looked back upon as exciting, but when he realizes that he is really black he “hurrie[s] into the nearest public lavatory and [is] violently sick” (38). If Braithwaite does not portray himself as a self-loathing black man, I do not think was ever such a portrayal in literature. What confuses me about this portrayal is that less than 50 pages later, he begins instructing his class about the great diversities of the human race! In one instance his race is invisible via his R.A.F. uniform; in the next he recognizes his race, but it makes him violently ill; and in the next he is proud of his homeland and using it to teach his students global geography. In The Lonely Londoners, Selvon, while telling story of intense racial prejudices, manages to maintain a pride in his race, so I am interested in how the two writers conceive race constructs differently.
Selvon also mentions the American side of racial tension, which comes into play in Braithwaite’s text as well. Braithwaite writes: “I reflects on the U.S.A. There, when prejudice is felt, it is open, obvious, blatant” (41). He continues by showing how white Americans discriminate against Blacks, but that Black men have some sort of recourse: they fight back. I think the struggle between these two texts is that Selvon portrays a London that is very discriminatory, like Braithwaite describes the U.S. My problem with all of this is that Braithwaite, with all the evident prejudices of British society at this time, would not even be allowed to teach in a school with white children in the U.S. no matter how bad off the children were.
I think my questions are best framed as: what is Braithwaite’s real stance on racial issues? How does he support the idea that his race disappears? How is his evocation of U.S. race relations help or hinder his construction of race in England? I plan to use a combination of theoretical texts, Braithwaite’s works, and possibly Selvon or if I can find one, a U.S. example of race…This part is up in the air.
Posted in Just for Fun
I finished my syllabus (Silly-Bus) at about noon today. I was at the library until 3AM and then returned at 8AM to finish it. I think it turned out okay, but for twelve hours of work, there isn’t much there. I am going to use a blogging component instead of paper journaling, and I am hoping to be able to work in enough assigments that the students can choose which ones actually get graded in their final portfolios. I hope it passes muster and I actually hope I get to teach 103 now that I spent so damned long making the syllabus. I am requiring that my students complete six projects: a photo essay about themselves; an “I Believe” essay; a social action letter/pamphlet/brochure/webpage; a magazine add/artistic critique/analysis; an argument inquiry/research paper; and, a reflection paper. Of those six assignments they can choose four to put in their portfolios for their final grade. All six will be completed in some capacity, but only four will be part of their selective portfolio. I think it works, but who knows.
Today, I am thinking about technology, and while I love it, I hate it as well. I love the convenience that it provides, but I hate the dependence it causes. My computer crashed again, and my calendar was in it. I was able to save all of my stuff before it died, though, so this time I didn’t lose all of my classwork. Plus , I am trying to put as much of my class stuff on my blog as I can so that I can avoid the problem of losing everything every time the Mac takes a shit on me.
All of this to say that tonight I am going to Indy to get the damned thing fixed, and I will actually get to spend some time with Rebecca for a change, since I haven’t seen her for almost two weeks. She has to buy running shoes, too. I think we may just an evening of it and actually go out for dinner as well. Don’t get me wrong, I have enjoyed every vegetarian soup she has made for me for the past two weeks while I was sick, but I would like to eat some real food. You know some nice restaurnat food. Maybe Rock Bottom or somewhere exciting: mmmm…beer.
The personal highlights that are coming my way: I get to go to an art show thingy with my mom, and the next weekend Jane will be here. Bec and I are looking forward to Greek food and letting Lily run around like a crazy dog. Sydney, poor guy will have to stay in the garage because he can’t behave. I hope it’s okay to bring them with us, but Lily NEEDS to run, and she’ll just mope around without Sydney. They’re wack jobs. Oh, well. Sleep calls, before we dash off to Indy.
I thought last week was bad, and this week may be worse! I literally have a project due every day again this week. My huge papers are due in three weeks as well. Tonight, I am sitting here at Bracken, and I will probably be here until 3AM when it closes trying to figure out what I am going to teach next semester. I have to turn in a syllabus tomorrow, but they still aren’t sure what classes we’ll be teaching. Augh! With my luck I will work out a syllabus for 103 and then end up teaching 104. Wouldn’t that be special.
Becky and started running again tonight, and it went really well. We ran more tonight than we have previously, and it seemed like the part we walked was faster, too, because the weather is so much nicer for running. I am glad that I finally over whatever it was that I had for the past two weeks, because I didn’t want to do anything except lay around on the couch and put on a few pounds in the mean time. Bec is right, though, running at night works better for us because one of us isn’t really a morning person. I bet you can’t guess who!
Today was a good day. Class went well, and our meeting with Jackie about our faculty presentation went well. She really helped us pare down our ideas and find two or three main points we’d like for the faculty to leave the workshop with. Jim and I have busted our butts on this presentation and it seems like there is always more to do. We have a good start, but we just have to make it more professional. As Jackie said, there will be seasoned teachers in this workshop not just beginning teachers/graduate students. It is good, though, because several of our other professors have offered stories/help for us. They are really great about helping us out, and they are really excited to come to our presentation as well!
Reason Breeds Insanity 