Category Archives: Advent

Joy

Posted on 19 December 2024 | Leave a comment

The third Sunday of Advent is all about joy, an emotion, a feeling, a posture that I wouldn’t name as something that comes natural to me. In fact, joy is really difficult for me to even wrap my mind around, let alone figure out how to feel or articulate. I do know that joy isn’t the same as happiness, and I also know that joy is a lasting state of being, a way of existence. I know that joy sustains us, even when we aren’t happy, and especially when are filled with sadness or rage.

Joy is the condition that allowed Julian of Norwich to hear God say to her, “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.” And it’s the underlying knowledge that, in fact, all shall be well, regardless of our circumstances. This past Sunday’s first reading was from Zephaniah, and while I rarely read the minor prophets—not for any reason, because the prophets are lovely—I found these words to be extremely challenging and comforting:

“The LORD, your God, is in your midst,
a mighty savior;
he will rejoice over you with gladness,
and renew you in his love,
he will sing joyfully because of you,
as one sings at festivals.”

According to Zephaniah, God sings joyfully because of us, and God rejoices over us with gladness. I love those images, and I’d like to keep thinking about us singing joyfully because of each other and rejoicing over each other with gladness. I am willing to believe that this may change our world. As we wait for Jesus to become real in this world on Christmas, we can be the light in the darkness, we can bring the joy, and we can provide hope. The first two lines of the quote above say that God is already in our midst, as a mighty savior, providing a feeling of safety and security.

Joy is a way of existing. Joy will sustain us.

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Peace

Posted on 8 December 2024 | Leave a comment

Today, the second Sunday of Advent, is dedicated to thoughts of peace. As you may or may not know, peace is one of my favorite concepts, a word that I say frequently, my favorite part of the liturgy, and the signature of all of my emails.

I have spent a great deal of time in spiritual and theological thought about the way the concepts of peace and justice interact. How, for example, does Christ’s death ensure both justice and peace? How can we bring that same sacrificial love into our daily interactions to ensure both justice, which requires consequences, and peace, which requires harmony and benevolence. For me, this juxtaposition is the crux of all theological thoughts. How can two seemingly opposite ideas work together to usher in the Kingdom of God in our daily lives, and, as importantly, how do those same two concepts function in the theology of the crucifixion? Martin Luther says, “Peace is more important than all justice; and peace was not made for the sake of justice, but justice for the sake of peace.” I am still trying to decipher what I think about his ideas of peace and justice, but it’s reassuring to know that someone as influential as Luther also wrestled with this.

On a more practical level, if you’ve ever had a conversation with me, when we parted ways, I probably said, “Peace,” to wish you well as you walked away. For me, saying peace to a friend is more than just a simple goodbye, because I really want to help this world become more peaceful, and somehow I think if I say it enough, we might think about it more. And, it’s a simple way to wish someone well, like saying shalom, salaam, or namaste, which I know don’t simply mean peace, but are phrases that carry beautiful meanings, such as restoration, humility, and noting the divine in each other, inside them as well. When I say peace, I mean all of these things. Speaking things into being is a concept I hold close to my heart, and I want people to know that I want to restore my relationship with them, that I want to live in a posture of humility with them, and that I see the image of God in them.

Experiencing the divine is important to me and is one of the main reasons I attend the Episcopal Church. I can feel Jesus, the very presence of God, in the euhcarist, and I think that is facilitated by the passing of the peace earlier in the liturgy. Speaking and hearing the words, “Peace of Christ be with you,” moves me and fills my heart with a strong love that enables me to really feel the divine.

Finally, because my job is at a public school, and because there is quite a lack of peace in the educational world these days, I sign all of my emails with the word, “Peace,” because I hope, beyond hope, that somehow we can return to a more peaceful world. This world is filled with chaos and anger and honestly we’ve lost our ability to speak civilly to each other in so many situations, that I hope by wishing people peace, even in a simple way like an email signature, that we’ll stop for a second and consider what it might look like to live at peace with each other. So, maybe, when we don’t agree, we can talk through our disagreements in a real way and stop quoting talking points from the extremities to which we’ve moved. We can really listen to learn then respond after thought to each other, rather than not really listening to immediately respond to each other.

I started this entry by thinking about peace and justice. And, while I love peace, I do know that justice is necessary. For example, the justice of decolonization is necessary, but I also think that justice can bring peace. Maybe not in the beginning, as decolonizing this world would cause a great deal of strife, but in the long run, the long game, the peace could be so beautiful and so much like the Kingdom of God. I have so many more thoughts about how these two theological concepts work together, but I actually have to get back to work on what pays the bills, which is also the good work of shaping young minds to bring peace, and justice, to this world.

Peace to you.

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Cracker Barrel; Red One; Goals

Posted on 29 November 2024 | Leave a comment

Yesterday for Thanksgiving dinner, my Dad, my brother, and I went to Cracker Barrel and then went to the movie theater to watch Red One. My mom was the one who was the most invested in our holiday feasting, so when she passed a few years ago, our holiday meals changed substantially, and I continued going to Minnesota for Thanksgiving for the most part, so I could spend Christmas here in Indiana with Dad and Adam. The first Christmas after she died, Dad wanted Chinese buffet, so we went to Yummy Grill and Buffet and ate crab rangoon and bad lo mein until we were too full of cream cheese, fake crab, and noodles to worry about the fact that Mom had died twelve days before. We added in a movie because what else do you do when the person who carries the joy is gone.

Red One was really a great holiday flick. I won’t spoil the details of the movie for you, but my mom would have loved its Christmas cheesiness, and a couple of times I got really choked up thinking about how she would have been cheering and yelling at the screen like several of our fellow movie goers. Mom was one of those people who clapped at the end of movies, like the actors on screen could hear her. She also loudly gave instructions to the characters about how they could thwart danger or how they could save the day. I like to think she loves the fact that we all go together to movies more now, since I have learned to tolerate the loudness and flashingness of them. I wish I’d have accomplished that while she was still alive, because I am sure she would’ve loved another movie going partner. I take her with me now, though, so I guess we grow in weird ways in weird timing.

I love Cracker Barrel. I know that isn’t a popular opinion, but their chicken and dumplings, when they are on point, are one of things my little carbohydrate-loving heart craves the most. The dumplings are sticky and thick, the broth is rich and with a little pepper is perfect, and the chicken is tender and moist. The sides are a bit underwhelming, but when I can get mashed sweet potatoes and fried okra without having to figure out what to do with the leftovers, I will take them a little less good than I can make at home. Yesterday, for their special menu, and probably until Christmas, they have Sugar Plum Sweet Tea, which is maybe one of the best drinks I’ve had at casual dining, though it was even a bit sweet for me.

I was amazed by how many people were both at Cracker Barrel and the movie theater, but I also loved that so many people were with their families. There were so many big tables seated at CB that I had to smile and think about all of the love in that place. People were smiling, talking with each other, laughing, and generally enjoying each other’s company in a way that I don’t see as much I would like. At the theater, people were being polite, sharing popcorn, chatting with their family and friends. Some days I get a glimpse into what I love about this world. And I needed that yesterday. I need it every day. But I especially needed it yesterday.

For Christmas, we’re going to try our hand at making an indigenous feast with foods found native in Indiana. We’re starting with deer steaks that Dad was gifted by a neighbor and building from there. Suggestions are always welcome, but the ingredients must be decolonized and indigenous to the Midwest, preferably to Indiana.

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I know my last post was a bit dark. I am trying really hard to figure out how to stay out of that space in my brain, but I have been feeling really overwhelmed since August. “Brian,” my brain when he misbehaves, has been working on overtime mayhem lately, but I have finally caught up on all of my school work, so I think it may be better now. As an ennagram 4w5 (might as well just call myself a 4/5), sometimes I see bits of joy or hope, but I am a little afraid to get too excited about them, or to seize them, because, well, surely sadness will just follow, right? I am working on that too. I want to be hopeful and joyful in a new way in my life. Since the new year starts, in my way of thinking and according to the church calendar, on this coming Sunday with the First Sunday of Advent, I figured why not just put my goals or aspirations or hopes for 2025 out here today; some of them are carry over from 2024, because I didn’t do so well accomplishing them.

  1. Love more. Give and receive more hugs. Tell people, “I love you.”
  2. Be more honest and vulnerable, and trust people to love me. Set better boundaries, tell people when they hurt me, hear them when they tell me I hurt them. Listen to people and believe what they tell me.
  3. Move more. Swim. Bike. Walk. Run. Hike. Dance. Wobble. Play with Luna.
  4. Read and write more. Read the Bible, books, newspapers, magazines. Write about things: gratitude, anger, grief, frustration, hopes, dreams, joy, memories, visions. Start a rage and hope journal.
  5. Practice moderation in consumption. Eat in moderation. Buy in moderation. Use technology in moderation.
  6. Be sober and be present.

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Posted in Abstinence, Addiction, Advent, Biking, Cycling, Diet, Eating, Fall/Autumn, Family, Fitness, Food, Goals, Health, hiking, Joy, Mental Health, New Year, Running, Swimming, Trail, Trail Running, Walking, Writing

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Sunrise on Ash Wednesday

Posted on 17 February 2021 | Leave a comment

Lent is my favorite church season, followed closely by Advent, which is weird because I hate to wait. I am a really bad wait-er. The reason these are my two favorite seasons of the church calendar isn’t that Lent or Advent are particularly happy, because Lent certainly is not happy. I am also not a masochist, so I don’t love these two seasons because of my intense need for self-punishment at waiting. My love for Lent and Advent probably has more to do with the fact that I know how long I will be waiting, and I know the outcome of the wait. I know that at the end of the 40-ish days, there will be a big event that makes the wait worthwhile. At the end there is a birth, there is resurrection. There is hope.

Another of my favorite things is the day when I realize that the sun is rising again on my way to work, when I am not driving the entire hour-ish in the dark. Driving out of the darkness into a sunrise is the best way to start a day of work, or of travel, or even of play. Especially if that sunrise is filled with purple deepness and yellow brightness and red intensity. The sunrise brings with it a sense of a new beginning; there is hope; the beauty of the earth is a forever thing.

The most beautiful day right now in my life is the day when Ash Wednesday and the sunrise morning happen to coincide. In other words, today is my most beautiful day.

On my way to school this morning, I listened to a podcast called “Everything Happens” featuring Kate Bowler and Nadia Bolz-Weber. In the conversation, they talk about how things happen and about how we frame the bad things that happen: “I think that those kinds of ideas, you know, the reason it hurts is because it’s painful, not like, the reason this thing in your life is hard is because hard things in life are hard. It’s not a spiritual failing of yours that this feels bad. Hard things feel hard. Period” (Bolz-Weber). My take away is that we try to make difficult things seem like they are our fault, but we always think the beautiful things are someone else’s fault. Maybe just take away fault. Bad things are bad. Good things are good. Beautiful things are beautiful. Things are.

The sunrise morning, and the beginning of my favorite season of the church calendar, happening on the same day makes me joy filled and helps me to recognize how beautiful God is and how amazing [Their] work in this world is.

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Posted in Advent, Christianity, Easter, Grace, Hope, Joy, Lent, Meditation, Mental Health, Religion, Spirituality

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December 1, 2019: First Sunday of Advent

Posted on 1 December 2019 | 2 comments

Here are my Goals for 2020. You’ll notice they look surprisingly similar to the ones for 2019, partially because I did not reach all of my goals for 2019, because I’ve finally reached a balance between challenging and attainable, so I think I’ll just roll with that for another year.

    1. Swim, bike, walk, or run every single day. Finish the Indy Mini on May 2, 2020
    2. Read at least one book each month. Write at least a little every Sunday.
    3. Meditate for 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes in the evening.
    4. Practice silence and work on listening, with intention.
    5. Eat mostly real plant-based food. Consume campassionately.
    6. Create more, conserve more, buy less.

Live joyfully and feed my soul.

Swim, Bike, Walk or Run Every Day

My brother and I signed up to do the Indy Mini this year, and we signed up for the shorter races leading up to it, so we’d know for sure that we can finish the 13.1 miles on Indy Mini Race Day. If you don’t know what the Indy Mini is, it is a half marathon that is part of the Indy 500 Festival, and you can learn more about it here. The commitment to do 13.1 in May, jumpstarted my already running self into a Holiday Run Streak that goes from today, the first Sunday of Advent until January 6, or Epiphany.

That’s 37 days of running at least one mile each day, and I started this morning by running around my friends’ neighborhood, which I have to say is quite a nice little spot to live. What will be fun and challenging about this Run Streak is that my 20-week training plan for the Indy Mini starts on December 16, so there will no doubt be some sore legs and a lot of walking/running intervals, until I get my running legs back under me.

My goals are simply to finish without being scooped up by the sweeper bus, to spend as much time with my brother as I can before I go back to Minnesota in June, and to have the most fun I have ever had running that far!

Reading (and Writing)

So far this year, I have read 6 books—probably more, but I did not write them down in my logs, so I guess in my mind they don’t count—so this is a goal that needs some attention next year. Considering that if I put my mind to it, I can read most books in less than a day, this seems like a really low number for a goal, but with teaching and trying to balance my life, I guess I just do not read as much as I used to. I am absolutely open to suggestions for reading.

I should probably make my goal for this coming year a writing one, since I feel like I miss it so much, but I have not done it for so long, that it feels weird even writing this. I guess practice makes me better, so maybe I should commit to writing here every Sunday. From January 5, 2020 – December 27, 2020.

Meditation: Silence and Listening

This goal, which is really two combined, is one that needs quite a bit of attention. Basically, I just need to do it. I need this goal more than any other one, and yet it is the one that gets neglected the quickest.

Eat Vegan Whole Foods

I am proud to say that this goal is going along perfectly. Since October 4, 2019, I haven’t eaten any meat, and I have been working my way into being completely plant-based by December 31. Since I live with my brother, we’re doing this one together (along with eating a lot less sugar), and we’ve already seen some excellent health benefits from it.

One of my favorite meals is pizza, and I always get sad thinking that I will miss pizza when I am vegan. Luckily I found an excellent vegan pizza crust mix, for when I don’t make my own from scratch, and I am enjoying using fresh vegetables and cheese replacements to make big, delicious homemade pizzas that are way better tasting, and way better for me, than store-bought pizza!

Last night I had one of the most beautiful pizzas I have made: big brown mushrooms, little rings of yellow, red, and orange peppers, bright green spinach, and giant tomato chunks with just a bit of Daiya cheddar shreds. Not only was it beautiful, but without all of the cheese, the delicious flavor of all of the vegetables came through.

Create More, Conserve More, Buy Less

I am really getting into being conservative with my spending, which is saying a lot if you know me and know how I love to spend money, because what is it but green pieces of paper. Anyway, I have kept my spending for gas (we have a 2 hour total commute each day), groceries, and entertainment to less than what I budgeted for three months in a row!

I am trying to purchase things that are necessary (do I really need that item?), that nothing I already have will serve the same function (will the things I already have work to do that job?), that I can’t do on my own (sorry Starbucks, but I brew my coffee in my classroom now), and that really bring me some kind of joy in my life (do I need another mug because it has a funny saying on it?). I’ve also gotten into fixing things, instead of just buying new.

My ultimate goal: Live JOYFULLY and feed my SOUL.

This is my ultimate goal, because I know that if I am not searching for joy and nourishment in my life, I am not happy, nor can I help anyone else seek for joy or nourishment. Now, I will be really honest, because of the way I am wired, seeking joy is really difficult for me. I am much the realist, and never really an optimist, but I know that joy and gratitude are the keys to living a long and memorable life, so I keep trying to regroup and see if I can help others.

My brother helps with this: he always sees the good side of things, and he always gives people the benefit of the doubt. I want to be more like him, and I try, but it is really hard to always assume positive intent, think things will turn out okay, to understand that everything happens for a reason, and to make the best of every situation. I will get there, though.

They say if you keep reframing events in the ways in which you can be grateful for them, that you’ll eventually do it automatically. I do not know who they are, but they have to be right, right?

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