Reason Breeds Insanity

I think life is short. I think I am not sure what I want to do with mine. I think I want to finish my Ph.D. I think that I would love to just love people for a living. I think I am having a dry spot with God. I think Jesus and I are on the fritz right now. You know, a bad spot in our relationship. I think I am so in love with Jesus that I don’t get our relationship anymore. I think I am so far from Jesus that I don’t get our relationship anymore. I think the last dance number at the Mark was amazing, what I remember of it anyway. I think I am just having bad spots right and left in relationships. I think I am tired. I think I am in too deep in too many things. I think I want to eat sushi and go canoe camping. I think I want to have the whole summer off next summer. I think I want to float down a river with no agenda for at least a week. I think I want to go clear to Lake Huron this time. I think I want to learn new things.I think I want to walk away from education. I think I want to get pissed (in the British sense). I think I want to smoke whole packs of cloves. I think I want to dance naked in the street because I am full of joy. I think I don’t how I can be full of joy but incredibly blah at the same time. I think I am blessed. I think I am cursed. I think.

Moving and working full time and trying to finish my research paper (I am just editing and revising) is getting old. I am so burnt out I can hardly stand it. My library is in a shambles, and I really just want to leave it and watch television. I think I will for today, just sit and do nothing for a change. Well, I have to work tonight, but untilo then, I will just leave it alone. And I think I am going to take the dogs to play in the river. I really just need a vacation!

Well, everything is in the new house. We worked from about 1PM yesterday until 12AM today moving furniture and my books. If I ever move again, I think we will just use them as kindling. They were worse to move than the furniture. I am pretty sure I have enough to fill two rooms! What I know for sure is that I worked at 4:30AM and I am going back to bed.

The cats are currently having a blast in the empty house playing in the curtains and generally being cat-like. Spaz and Pudge are fighting now in the middle of the room and Pudge’s hair is coming out in chunks. Mimi is just sitting calmly in the window watching the birds. I can hardly wait to add Kermit and Mr. Mojo Risin to the mix.

I am going to move my motocycle to our new house today. I am sure the neighbors will love it when they see a bike parked behind the house. You know everyone loves motorcyclists. I am going to put it in the garage, though, so that no one steals it.

Finally, I hope to have a second draft of my paper finished by Friday and some research for Kecia done by Wednesday so Jamie can do with it what she needs to. I am pretty excited about this VBC seminar that Kecia is doing. I just wish I could be involved in some aspect once school starts, but I am sure I will be covered up with classes.

The realtor, Tina Morris, who is amazing if you are ever looking for a house in Muncie, called me today and David and I went and got the keys to our house. BUT BECKY DOESN’T KNOW WE HAVE THEM!!! Tomorrow afternoon we, Becs and I, are taking the Jeep in for a tire rotation, oil change, and headlight and windshield wiper replacement, and the Jeep dealership is like half a mile from our house. We are going to take a picnic lunch, or pick up carry out from somewhere, and “eat on the porch” while we wait for the Jeep to get finished. Little does she know that David and I got flowers and they are already on the counter inside the house, so we are going to eat inside our new house, and I will give her the keys then so we can move this weekend. I’m so excited!

Hopefully, now that the paper is at least in written form, I can start actually posting some meaningful reflections about life instead fo the angst ridden bullshit that I have been writing about. There is so much to life. Sometimes I look so inwardly that I miss much of what is going on around me.

I’m pretty sure that when we move, and I quit at the BUX, or at least cut down to one or two days a week, I am selling the Jeep. I have chosen my new ride. Yes, she is pink, and I love the whitewall tires and fenders! Check out the fat-girl seat, too.

I am also looking forward to feeling at home in my home. We visited the flowers today, and I just feel like we belong there. The big wrap around porch, the pine tree, the flower bed, and of course the river across the street all embrace us, and make us feel welcome.

We adopted the cats yesterday and decided to name them Kermit (the one with more white, Becky’s) and Mr. Mojo Risin (the one with less white, mine). Truth be told, we are crazy.

I met with Kecia and the paper needs lots of work, as I assumed it would, but I have to be finished by July 27th, and I am going to try to be finished by the 16th.

Finally, I am so looking forward to MOVING!