I’ve read a bajillion Internet posts about how much better people feel when they give up alcohol and/or caffeine.
You can read here about Gretchen Rubin, the woman who wrote The Happiness Project, a book I read with quite a suspicious eye, and her reasons for quitting drinking. I had quite a difficult time relating to much of what she said, because I kept feeling like anyone could be happy if they had all day to hang out and write and do things to make themselves happy, instead of working 40+ hours a week outside the home, like so many of us do. I mean, I’d be happy if I could just eat, swim, trail run, write, and do art. Any agents out there willing to negotiate a contract for a fat athlete who just wants to athlete and write about it? I promise, I’ll make it a good read.
You can read here about how long it might take for you to return to “normal” after quitting drinking.
You can read here about a year-long fast from alcohol and the effects it had on the writer.
In fact, if you google “a year without alcohol,” you can read a countless number of people’s quests to live a year or more without drinking any form of alcohol. Similarly, if you google “a year without caffeine,” you can find a significant number of stories about how people exist without coffee.
After spending a bit of time googling and skimming other folks’ quests of this nature, I decided to try my own little experiment. Since October 10, I’ve not had any alcohol or caffeine, and I plan to continue this fast or abstinence at least until I go back to Indiana in January, so October 10-January 16, when I will run my favorite night time trail run. What is that? About three months?
After nine days, do I feel better? I wouldn’t say that I notice a significant difference in my body. I don’t feel necessarily peppier, or necessarily groggier. I don’t notice a difference in my habits in the morning, since I replaced coffee with a caffeine-free herbal infusion by Tiesta. In the evening, however, I have to say it’s a bit disconcerting to not have a beer with dinner or to wind down when I come home from work.
I’ve spent some time in the past year shedding some of my bigger addictions, and I feel much better for it. It’s amazing how quickly things that seem innocuous when we initially begin them can become such controlling and overwhelming forces in our lives, how they can begin to color everything we do, and how we eventually let them control how we interact with people and how we think of ourselves.
Though I wouldn’t call alcohol or caffeine, in and of themselves, addictions for me, I will say that I think I rely on them too much, so a few months without will do me well. As of now, I’m looking forward to a life of clean eating, exercise, and an eventual Ironman finish. Today, I can say I am back on track.
Posted in Abstinence, Addiction, Beer, Cider, Coffee, Fat Runner, Fitness, Goals, Grace, Health, Joy, Mental Health, Spirituality, Trail Running, Triathlon, Vegetarian or Vegan, Wellness, Writer
Tagged aa, abstinence, addiction, alcohol, Beer, caffeine, Coffee, drinking, Ironman, Recovery, Running, Swimming, tea
I spent this past weekend with my friend Sarah A. Chavez while she was up here in the Cities for AWP 2015, and I sort of hung around the conference wishing I’d have spent the money for admission to it. I was thankful I was able to attend so many offsite events, since the readings are really the best part anyway. Sarah and I met and had breakfast with our friend Ahyicodae (Ico), who lives up here, and with whom I get the pleasure to have writing and workshop days now that we’ve made that connection. For me, these connections are the writing equivalent of my artistic connections with Lyn and Tish.
I get all fired up and excited about writing and art when I am around other people who are passionate about being creative, so once again the creative fire is lit under my smoldering and lackadaisical behind. I’m not making excuses, but it’s easy for me to become complacent about art and writing (they are a lot of work!) when I am not making art, not talking about art, and not feeling inspired. I am blessed to have many, many creative friends, both writers and artists. I am blessed to continually meet folks (like Nell, who was one of the first non-work people I met up here) who make the world more beautiful through their creativity.
I know I am flash-in-the-pan and have almost zero stick-to-it-ive-ness (what a word!), but I wrote a rough draft of a poem today and I started a short creative nonfiction piece this morning as well. I have the ideas for some artwork, and I know I just need to do it. The theme I am currently stuck on, and I blame the liturgical calendar and where I am in my life, is resurrection, rebirth, and reconciliation. I feel like I’ve died and come back to life, like a cliche little phoenix.
Here’s part of the CNF piece I started this morning: “Whenever I wash the dishes, I always look out the window toward the Mississippi River, which is about two blocks west of our house. Sometimes if I strain, I can hear the barges pushing their freight, and sometimes if I pay close attention, I can see interesting water fowl low in flight as they land or take off from the water, even though I can’t really see the river. Today I was standing by the back window in front of the sink washing the dishes from last night’s culinary success while thinking about everything I wanted to accomplish today. I noticed a hawk and a couple of other birds flying in an odd pattern over the neighbor’s house. I wondered why the birds were behaving so sporadically and scoured the ground for the neighbor’s dog, which sometimes runs along the street in front of their house. No dog. I traced the flight pattern up into the sky and was humbled by what was making the local birds behave so strangely. The sky was marked with the unmistakable giant white bodies and long, black-tipped wings of the whooping crane, a cast of about 50 of them in fact. My day became glorious in that minute of awe, and I continue to thank God that I am still here and that I am so blessed.”
The thing I am struggling with the most in my life right now is the desire and energy to train for this half-marathon in June and the 70.3 in July. Neither race is going to be pretty. In fact, I think they are going to be very, very ugly. More factually, I think I’ll be lucky to finish them both. I am having a difficult time with running. I have the desire. I can remember what it felt like to be able to run 9 miles at a stretch with virtually no difficulty and no soreness the next day. I can remember what it was like to run 15 miles on a Saturday, being sore the next day, but not dying from it. My body wants to be there again, but with everything is so psychological. My mind says, “Remember how bad your legs and feet hurt after work and standing for 8 hours at a time. You can’t run after that. You need to go home and put your feet up and watch 97 hours of Murder, She Wrote. You don’t need to write or do art or run or swim or do anything but be a slug. You’ve earned it by working so hard.” I’m trying to focus my meditation and prayer, now that Lent is over, on positive self-talk in regards to triathlon-related and creativity-related pursuits. Today, I am going for a three-mile walk. Tomorrow, I am going for a swim and run. My goal is to never turn on the TV or open a book until I’ve accomplished my goals for the day. That sort of relaxing is my reward. I don’t read for a living anymore.
I’ve been vegetarian again for two weeks now. Psychologically, I feel 100% better. I always forget how clear my mind becomes when my life isn’t held in a balance based on killing creatures for sustenance. Physically, I feel about the same. My body is still store from work, and I still think I need to just lay about (see above). I think it’s worth being a kind-hearted eater to not have dreams about dying animals, and I think it’s worth it to be adventurous in the kitchen again. We’d gotten in the rut of eating the same five or six meals over and over again, but we’re shaking it up a bit these past few days. Yesterday, I made my first batch of saag paneer, and it was delightful and filling. And, I am mostly past a point in my life where I am willing to do pretty much anything to lose weight. I’m not. I’m more interested in living a consistent ethic of life, and a life lived well and not on the backs of innocents.
Now I am off to buy a cheap table to use for my printmaking lair upstairs in the attic.
Posted in Art, Biking, Christianity, CNF, Cooking, CW, Cycling, Easter, Ethics, Fat, Fat Runner, Fitness, Food, Goals, Grace, Gym, Health, Joy, Lent, Meditation, Mental Health, Reading, Relationships, Religion, Running, Spirituality, Swimming, Trail Running, Triathlon, Vegetarian or Vegan, Walking, Weight Loss, Weightlifting, Wellness, Workout, Writing
Tagged 70.3, Art, artist, AWP, bike, Diet, Eating, Fitness, Food, Ironman, Muncie 70.3, run, swim, Triathlon, Vegetarian, Wellness, Writing
I’ve been spending a lot of time running on the treadmill at the gym, trying to build up my stamina, so I’d be better able to run outside when spring comes.
I’ve been running on the treadmill to try to get faster, so I can run better outside when spring comes.
I’m so glad my gym has a treadmill I can use for running, so when spring comes, I’ll be ready to run outside.
I HATE THE TREADMILL.
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
This sentiment was reinforced today when I went for a three-mile run along the Mississippi River on a trail I’ve been meaning to try for a while. Not only does the trail remind me a lot of the Cardinal Greenway, but it also goes directly along a big, big river. If I so chose, I could’ve run all the way into St. Paul, which is six miles from where I started. Once I build my mileage up more again, I’m going to take advantage of that for sure.
The only drawback, as with most asphalt trails up here, is there are no trees, so you’re out in the blazing hot sun for the whole run. There are, of course, advantages to that. One advantage is that the heat will help me train for the run portion of the Muncie 70.3, which will no doubt be hot. Another advantage is that I’ll get an awesome tan this summer. And, I suppose a third advantage, is that in the winter there aren’t hidden ice patches on the trail, which is plowed and maintained for winter, unlike the Cardinal Greenway.
The most I’ve been able to run, without intense pain, in one shot at the gym has been about 3/4 of a mile. Today with the river, the snow, the sun, the beauty, and a bit of positive self-talk, I ran 1.1 miles without even realizing it. Then I walked another 0.3 miles up a big ramp and back down, then another 0.3 back up then back down (it goes over the train track into town, or I could’ve stayed down by river, which I’ll do next time), then I ran back 1.1 miles to the car. My knees don’t hurt. My breathing was controlled. I felt awesome.
As I sort of mentioned just above, I’m also working on focusing on positive things while I run. I’ve noticed that I let a lot of anger fuel my exercise, and it’s kind of getting me nowhere, except sore and with tight muscles. Really I should be thankful that I can do all I can do. I should speak into being what I want to happen. I ran the last half mile or so today saying to myself, “You got this. Finish strong. Keep going. Run hard. You got this. Finish strong. Keep going. Run hard.” The self-talk worked. I felt the best I’ve felt in a long time.
I also decided while I was running that I am going to change up my workout routine somehow, so I can focus on one sport each day, maybe I’ll only end up doing each sport twice every eight days, which is okay. I’ll just need to plan it out more carefully, and stick to the schedule. I do know that I can swim every day with no worries, so I may swim and do one other sport each day. Who knows? I’ll work on that tonight.
I have to thank my friend Sarahbeth for encouraging me to run outside today. What a blessing it was. Thanks, buddy.
Posted in Running, Schedule, Weight Loss, Wellness, Workout
Tagged Exercise, Ironman, outside, river, Running, schedule, Trail, workout
I am guest blogging over here at Where’s the Finish Line, which is my friend Teresa’s amazing blog about her quest for a strong and fulfilling Ironman Wisconsin finish. I am writing my own little posts about every two weeks about my struggle to make it to Racine 70.3 in my own column called “Corby’s Corner.” Stay tuned there, because the posts will be solely related to my struggle to maintain moderation in food and exercise. If you’re interested in that sort of thing, head over there.
So, here’s an update for My 20 Before 40:
1. Run a marathon. I signed up for the Twin Cities Medtronic Marathon on October 5, so I have 230 days to get myself to be able to run a 6 hour or less marathon.
2. Finish the Racine 70.3 on July 21 in under 8 hours. I have signed up for this, and it’s 153 days away. My goal is to finish the 13.1 mile run in under 3 hours.
3. Swim a 500 in 7:30 minutes. This needs some work.
4. Do yoga every morning. Yeah, not so much.
5. Do a 30 burpees in 30 days challenge. I am going to start this on the day after Bec moves to MN. I figure it’s a good way to work off anxiety.
6. Ride a century ride on the bicycle. I need to sign up for something to motivate me to do this.
7. Meditate for at least 15 minutes each day. Yeah, not so much.
8. Eat paleo at least 80% of the time. Um, well, I am doing something a bit different with this: eating when hungry. Eating foods that bring me joy.
9. Try foods that aren’t the usual things I eat. I’ve had gluten-free granola, and I bought some whole-grain, gluten-free bread for PBJs for lunch.
10. Visit every Indiana state park with my brother. I think we might be back to breweries/cideries/distilleries. Who knows what we’re doing here.
11. Learn to cook one new thing each month. So far we’ve tried oxtail stew and shark. Next month, I am going to make haggis.
12. Do not drink alcohol until my birthday. This isn’t even something that makes sense for me. I love a good beer, cider, bourbon, scotch, or mead. Why be miserable?
13. Read the whole Bible. Working on it.
14. Finish the Sketchbook Project book. Decided just to fill my own sketchbook. It’s going slowly.
15. Finish my master’s degree in creative writing. Publish. Yeah. This. Class.
16. Post a blog post every Sunday. Well, I am trying, but it isn’t working. More about this goal below.
17. Get a new tattoo. I’m going to do this after Racine 70.3.
18. Lose 60 pounds. Um, yeah, about this. Why the fuck can I never lose weight?!
19. Find a job doing something I love. This may be a pipe dream, but I hope it works out.
20. Read a new book each week. I am reading so much for school, it feels as if I am reading a new book each day!
Blogging. Blogging. Blogging.
So I’ve decided that I am going to put a bit more format into my blogging efforts. I am going to write about a different goal in my list each week, with a bit more in depth of a focus. For the most part, I am going to go in order, but tonight I want to write about how I plan to structure this blog, so I can get a couple more posts in each week. Some of these post topics or ideas came from my friends’ blogs, so they aren’t original ideas at all, just themes that may help me to be more diligent in thinking about my life with focus.
So here goes:
Mystic Mondays: I’ll chose some Biblical or theological text, story, or scripture to discuss. I made this one up on my own, like the super smart kid I am. Haha!
What I Ate Wednesday: I’ll write about everything I eat that day, and I’ll include pictures when I can. I stole this from Teresa, who stole it from someone else.
Fiction Fridays: I expect my students to write reflections for Fridays about what they’ve read through the week. I think I’ll start doing the same. Some works won’t be fiction, but I’ll still call it Fiction Fridays. I stole the idea for this from many of my friends who write blogs or maintain some sort of online presence. I reserve the right to reflect on art, movies, television, news, literature, music, or any other creative endeavor.
And Sunday, Sunday will be my regular blogging day where I talk about what the heck is going on with one goal from the list. I hope in this way, this space will become more relevant and more regular so folks start reading again. The last Sunday of each month, I’ll reevaluate my goals, instead of discussing one in depth. Now, let’s just hope I can keep up with this. Writing brings me joy, so how is this so difficult?
Let’s do this.
Posted in Art, Beer, Biking, Buddhism, Christianity, Cider, Cooking, Cycling, Education, Food, Goals, Grace, Joy, Meditation, Mental Health, Paleo/Primal, PBJ, Reading, Relationships, Religion, Running, School, Spirituality, Sunday, Swimming, Tattoos, Triathlon, Vegetarian or Vegan, Writing
Tagged blogging, Century Ride, Fiction, Food, Goals, Health, Ironman, Jelly, marathon, Mystic, Peanut Butter, Racine 70.3, Spirituality, Sunday, Triathlon, What I Ate