20 Before 40: I Stole This Idea from A Friend

Posted on 14 December 2013 | 1 comment

As I was sitting here thinking about how to change my life and the things I want (or need) to accomplish before I turn 40, I came upon a former preservice teacher’s Facebook post. LeeAnn posted a list of 25 things she wanted to accomplish before she turned 25 and then made her way through the list. According to the post, she hasn’t done all 25 things, but I am not sure that she is yet 25. I love the idea of having goals and trying to accomplish them by a monumental birthday. And, it just so happens that I will turn 40 in seven months and seven days, which is 219 days. I don’t think I have time to do 40 things by 40, but I can do 20 things by 40. If I should happen to accomplish all 20 and have time left over, I’ll just make a new list. Let’s see how many of these things I can accomplish before my birthday:

Exercise related:

  1. Run a marathon. This is still a goal, even though I can’t run at all right now because of my sore foot. Slow and steady wins the race.
  2. Finish the Racine 70.3 on July 21.  I’d like to finish it in under 8 hours.
  3. Swim a 500 in 7:30 minutes.
  4. Take a yoga class. I suppose I could do this through the Ball, but I am not sure if I will have the time. This may wait until we move.
  5. Do a 30 burpees in 30 days challenge. I will start this on January 1.
  6. Ride a century ride on the bicycle. This doesn’t have to be official. If I ride from here to Gaston to Richmond and back, that’ll work.
  7. Meditate for at least 15 minutes each day. I will start this on January 1.

One of my goals in this section is to swim the Chicago race called Big Shoulders. I plan to do it, but it doesn’t happen until September, so it really won’t happen before my birthday.

Food related:

  1. Eat paleo at least 80% of the time. Preferably eat paleo as much as possible.
  2. Try foods that aren’t the usual things I eat.
  3. Visit every Indiana brewery with my brother.
  4. Learn to cook one new thing each month.
  5. Do not drink alcohol until my birthday. This will start on January 1.

Reading, writing, or art related:

  1. Read the whole Bible. I’ve read the whole text, but I’ve never read it all the way through.
  2. Reread the Harry Potter series.
  3. Finish the Sketchbook Project book I just received in the mail. Even if I don’t finish it in time to turn it in, in January, I still want to fill it.
  4. Finish my master’s degree in creative writing. Get my project published somewhere.
  5. Post a blog post three days a week. Write something every day.

Personal:

  1. Get a new tattoo.
  2. Lose 40 pounds. That’s 5 pound a month, or roughly one pound each week. Surely I can do that, right?
  3. Find a job doing something I love.

I am not sure how much meaning there is in this list, but there are some things on this list that I’ve been hoping to do for a while. Maybe by articulating them, I’ll have greater success.

1 Comment

Posted in Birthday Crisis, Fat, Goals, Grace, Paleo/Primal, Reading, Running, Swimming, Tattoos, Triathlon, Writing

Advent, Food and Exercise, Writing, and Stress

Posted on 7 December 2013 | Leave a comment

Most people who know me would not be able to believe that my two favorite liturgical seasons are Lent and Advent, in that order. I love spiritual waiting, because I know at the end of the wait there will be Jesus. I love the anticipation of Jesus, who is in all ways God, coming to earth in all ways human during Advent. I reluctantly wait for his inevitable death with the promise of resurrection during Lent. There is nothing quite like spiritual anticipation to make a person realize how blessed we are on this earth, how much the God of the universe cares for us and gives us grace. I agree with Nadia Bolz-Weber when she insists that our spiritual and theological lives consists of hundreds, if not thousands, of little deaths, resurrections, and rebirths (paraphrase). So it is every day for me. Anticipation of these spiritual events keeps me keeping on. Anticipation gives me hope.

Contrarily, I do not love earthly waiting. Instead I am like the cliché kid in the candy shop, wanting to take as little time as possible to make things happen in this world. I want things and I want them now. Maybe that’s why I put so much stock in Advent and Lent; it makes feel as if I have some otherworldly waiting ability. Anyway, I’m in a period of waiting now, on this earth, for the next steps. I’m leaving teaching at the end of May, at least for a while, until I can figure out what I want to do with myself. I’m hoping to be a bartender, or a barista, or something that involves the outdoors for a bit. I need to regroup and rethink and refocus. So, I am waiting to see what comes next. And it feels like an eternity. And it feels like so many things to figure out. And it feels overwhelming.

*

Well, I tried a Whole 30, but again didn’t succeed. It takes a lot of work for me to be that strict with my food. Food is love and grace for me, and I still want to share in happy hour with my friends. Maybe I’m a weak person, maybe I have no self-control (see above, I want it, now), maybe I need a legitimate starting point like New Year’s to make things stick, maybe I’m just destined to be a fat kid. Who knows? What I do know is that from my lowest weight last year until now, I’ve gained almost 30 pounds. I chalk it up to stress, since I eat my feelings. I chalk it up to the mild depression I feel every fall/winter, since I sometimes don’t even want to get out of bed.

I am nowhere near my fattest, but I am not happy with this weight gain, because I can’t run, bike, or swim as fast. That being said, I’m cruising through the holidays, and then I’ll try to make some changes. It’s too much to try to be festive and self-policing at the same time.

I have also fallen short of my yearly goal this year to move my body 5 miles each day. I don’t think there’s any way for me to accomplish this goal, since my body doesn’t seem to want to cooperate with my grand plan of completing a mini-triathlon each day. I did four days worth, but then my body sort of said, “Fuck you, fatty, this is too much exercise.” And now my foot hurts, and I don’t think I can do it. But I’m going to try again starting tomorrow.

*

I’ve been trying to write with my students this semester, but all I’ve gotten out of it is a load of crap and some really bad starts to several nonsensical stories. I am taking a teaching creative writing class this spring semester, so I can make something out of my classes for my PhD that I won’t be using for an actual PhD, since I quit. I hope the muse comes back to me before I have to start working on my creative project for the Master’s degree I’ll be trying to get. It’ll be in creative writing, and I have to write a new creative nonfiction piece that is publishable. This may be a bit tricky. Anyway, my whole point is I need a muse.

*

I have never felt so much stress at any point in my life up to this date. I can’t imagine being a person who is this stressed all the time, nor can I fathom how some people function while carrying around such a huge load of anger, suspicion, and doubt as I see people carrying. I have found myself wondering how people keep from simply collapsing under the weight of the burdens they bear, because I sometimes feel like I could cave to the small amount of things I shoulder.

During this Advent, my heart hurts for people who experience stress, despair, anger, suspicion, doubt, hate, a painful past, or illness, and I pray and hope for healing, peace, love, and grace to visit them through me. I anticipate that the risen Christ will show through me and my actions as I love people this Advent. I anticipate being grace.

Leave a comment

Posted in Advent, Christianity, Christmas, CNF, Cycling, Education, Fat, Food, Goals, Grace, Joy, Lent, Mental Health, New Year, Paleo/Primal, Religion, Running, School, Spirituality, Swimming, Teaching, Triathlon, Whole 30, Winter Weather, Writing

Oh, Boy. WHOLE 30-ish!

Posted on 29 October 2013 | 4 comments

Well, in my last post, I said that it was my goal to write here every day this past summer. As we can all tell, that in no way happened. I took the summer as a giant vacation to train for the Muncie 70.3, which I successfully, though not speedily, completed on July 13. I refinished floors, I watched my diet, I read books, I planned for the school year, and I did every thing except write and do art, which were my two goals for the summer. So much for goals, eh?

In my true fashion, though, I have a whole new list of goals that I am trying to achieve over the next couple of months. As timing would have it, I’ve begun a new journey near Advent, but not quite on it. I’m always slightly out of step, off kilter, sideways, backwards, or whatever words you’d use to describe someone who never does anything exactly in the right manner. Of course, this is part of why my goal setting is always a bit comical for those who know me best. My goals are lofty, but infrequently met. It’s a goal: to get better at reaching goals. It’s a goal I’ll likely not meet.

For the next 30 days, I’m keeping track of my goals on a private page, and when the 30 days is over, I’ll transfer my thoughts over here. But for now, all you need to know is that I’m starting my fourth Whole 30, two of which were utter failures, one of which was successful, and one of which is just beginning. The past two days of healthy eating have gone smashingly and I am beginning to feel a bit less bloated already. I am not, however, experiencing the miracle cure that others experience, nor have I ever, but I do feel more well-fed and less like crap. This go around I am trying to avoid the trap of food envy that has derailed my other two Whole 30s. I mean a person can only “enjoy” so many kale chips, right?

I’m going to try to post here more regularly, but school and life get in the way sometimes. Until later, then.

4 Comments

Posted in Advent, Food, Goals, Whole 30

Vacation: I Already Miss the Mountains

Posted on 10 June 2013 | Leave a comment

I said I’d write here every day over the summer, and then I promptly went to Gatlinburg for vacation. Our cabin was supposed to be fitted with Wi-Fi, but I don’t think it was Apple compatible as it worked the first night, but didn’t work any day the rest of the time we were there, so I was unable to write for a bit.

While we were in the Smokies, my brother and I hiked up to see Ramsay’s Cascade. The hike was an eight-mile out and back loop from the base of the mountain to nearly the top. The trail guide said it gained something like 2000 feet in elevation, and the terrain was somewhat difficult, though certainly not impassable. The final half a mile was the most difficult both going up and coming down, because we had climb over boulders and they were a wee bit slippery. However, anyone in reasonable shape, given enough time could make it to the top and back out. It took us about four hours, and we even stopped a lot to take pictures. I would think most folks could make the trek in less than 8 hours.

Also while we were gone, I had some time to think about who I am and where this writing is going. I read a couple of books, some magazines, meditated, and spent time alone in my basement bedroom thinking about who I want to be. This summer will likely be a ten-week consideration of how my ideas of joy, grace, Christianity, and Buddhism can fit together to get me through the school year next year without sliding back into who I was at the end of the school year this year. I need to think a lot about my pedagogy and what’s important to me in the classroom, and I need to be open to finding inspiration in strange places, like Runner’s World Magazine and their special section about Boston. Even though I am nowhere near fast enough to ever qualify for Boston, the bombing and the ways in which it was handled still had a great impact on me.

Leave a comment

Posted in Grace, Joy, Summer

Summertime and the Living is Easy

Posted on 1 June 2013 | Leave a comment

Today is the first day of my ten-week summer break, and it’s exactly six weeks until the Muncie 70.3. I have also signed up for the Indianapolis Monumental Marathon on November 2, twenty-two weeks away from today, hoping that I will make it across the finish line this time. I’m a much better runner now than I was the last time I tried, and I will have completed the 70.3, which I bank on giving me the stick-to-it-iveness to make across the marathon finish line. I can only hope for the freezing rain they had last year when we volunteered. I hate being overheated when I run.

While it’s difficult for me to imagine that the last time I wrote here was six weeks ago, I guess the lack of writing on my part is an indication to you that I have been super busy. I’m looking forward to this summer for so many reasons (not parallel listing): no dissertation hanging over my head, reading anything I want, a diversity seminar on campus about inclusive pedagogy, family vacation, triathleting, possibly some art, clean eating, online meditation classes, refinishing hardwood floors, playing disc golf, playing with my animals, and naps.

There are so many things I’d love to write about, that have been heavy on my mind and heart recently, I can’t begin to touch them in one blog post, so I am making it my goal to pick back up with the idea of joy and blogging about my main goals for this year. I hope to write every day this summer, so I’ll no doubt be writing about some current events and things like that, too.

Lastly, for dinner I am making bacon wrapped shrimp kebobs on the grill, and I hope they are delicious. If they are, I will be sure to post pictures of them tomorrow.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in Biking, Buddhism, Cooking, Cycling, Disc golf, Family, Food, Goals, Joy, Literature, Mental Health, Pedagogy, Play, Reading, Relationships, Religion, Running, School, Spirituality, Summer, Swimming, Teaching, Triathlon, Work, Writing